Fair Game (The Rules #1)(64)

“You’ve been such a dick, I figured a night of drinking would do you some good.” Tristan points at the red cup I’m holding. “So bottoms up dude.”

I chug the weak beer, wishing for something stronger. Harder. Preferably vodka. Tristan’s right. I’ve been a total dick. I need to get wasted. Drown my problems with booze and hope to hell I’ll black out by the end of the night.

Anything to help me forget Jade.

“You need to find a girl too,” Tristan says, scanning the room, whistling low. “We definitely have our pick tonight.”

I don’t bother looking. Instead, I stare at the bottom of my cup, which is now disappointingly empty. “No chicks,” I mutter.

“What?” I glance up to find Tristan staring at me like I’ve lost my damn mind. “Are you serious? You definitely need a chick. Fuck the pain away. Isn’t there a song called that?”

I have no idea what he’s talking about. “Women are trouble. Every single one of them,” I mutter, thinking of one in particular. Though she did no wrong. She was f*cking perfect. Sucking my dick like she practically got off on it and instead of showing my eternal gratitude—what I should’ve done, I’d been dreaming of those f*cking perfect cock sucking lips from the moment I first met her—I pushed her away. Took her home, dropped her off without even a kiss to remember me by and never called her again.

The truth? She scared me. My reaction to her scared me. Instead of being a man and talking to her like a responsible adult, I ran like a little kid. Not that she called me or texted me in return. Knowing Jade, she’s most likely furious at me.

Not that I can blame her.

She’s all I can think about. All I want. I screwed this up royally and I don’t know how to make it right. But I freaked out. Freaked out so bad when all those overwhelming emotions came rushing at me…

Regret washes over me now, and I blow out a harsh breath, tell myself to get a grip. I’ll get over her. I will. I swear I will.

“You’re still twisted up over her, aren’t you?” Tristan shakes his head, his eyes full of…is that concern? Get outta here. “What the hell did she do to you anyway?”

Everything. She blew my mind. Rocked my world. Made me smile. Made me laugh. Made me want something I never considered possible.

A chance with a girl. A chance at a committed relationship, something that usually scared the hell out of me, and with good reason. Look at my parents—worst example of a supposed solid, loving relationship ever. They can barely tolerate each other. I don’t want that. I’d rather be alone.

Or so I thought. A few weeks with Jade and I want…more. Too much. I can’t do it. Can’t face it. Face her. So instead…

I pretended she didn’t exist like I’m some sort of callous, heartless *. Guess I’m just following in the steps of my dear old dad.

Inhaling deep, I clench my jaw, my fingers squeezing the cup so hard it crumples under my grip. I freaking hate myself for falling into the same old patterns. For not being man enough to face my fears and go for it.

Instead I’m alone as usual, at a stupid frat party and drowning my sorrows in cheap ass beer while hanging out with my stupid cousin who’s as much of a commitment-phobe as I am.

Life sucks.

“I don’t want to talk about her,” I finally say, offering Tristan a grim smile. “Is there anything harder in this house? I’ll need to drink an entire keg to get a buzz.”

Tristan laughs. “Yeah, man. I know where the secret stash is. You want something in particular?”

Would asking for an entire bottle of vodka seem too greedy? “Vodka. As much as you can find me,” I tell him instead.

“Got it. Give me a couple minutes.” Tristan tilts his head toward the crowd. “Why don’t you go mingle? It might do you some good.”

Mingling sounds like the stupidest idea ever. “I’ll hold up this wall, thanks.”

Tristan shakes his head, muttering something about dudes with no balls as he walks away.

Whatever. I can’t take offense. I am acting like a dude with no balls. All over a girl. Since when do I let a girl have so much power over me?

You’ve never met a girl like Jade before.

Isn’t that the truth?

I start to drink out of my crumpled cup when I remember it’s empty and I leave it on a nearby table. Hopefully Tristan remembers to bring me a cup along with that bottle of vodka. If he even brings a bottle. If not, I’m bailing. Seek out a liquor store and buy my own bottle of vodka I can nurse for the rest of the night.

Shit. I sound like a hopeless drunk.

Girls approach, one after another and I remain stoic. Bored as they try to talk to me, seemingly desperate to engage me in conversation. But I’m not having it. I’m cranky. Not interested. I shut every one of them down, one after the other, until they stop approaching and I’m alone once more, holding up the wall, waiting for Tristan, jonesing for a drink.

That’s when I think I spot her. It has to be her. I’d know that glorious f*cking hair anywhere. I push away from the wall, my gaze locked on the spot across the room where I swear I saw her. Jade. The front room is packed full of people and the music is deafeningly loud. I start to push through the crowd, making my way toward the beacon that is her. I catch another glimpse of red hair, long and wavy, hanging down her back. Unbound, unrestrained, and my hands literally itch to touch it. Touch her.