Eternal (Shadow Falls: After Dark #2)(33)

“All I’ve thought about these last few weeks is you and him. Holding my breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’ve resorted to following him around. I’m so eaten up with jealously that I can’t think straight. This isn’t me. I hate feeling this way.” He ran another hand over his face. “All my life, I’ve felt as if I took second place to my parents’ careers. To their dreams, and their goals. I don’t want to be someone’s second anymore.”

Damn that hurt. “You think you’re second? How could—?”

He ignored her and continued, “Do you realize how long it took me to get you to even give me the time of day? And that low…” He paused as if admitting the truth cost him something—like pride. “Chase comes here, and in no time, he’s got you wrapped up in him. I don’t want to compete for your affection.”

She wiped the tears from her face. “It’s not a competition.”

“It feels like it.” He dropped his hands back in his pockets. “Besides, you just told me you couldn’t do this, either. You know I’m right.”

“Yeah.” But for different reasons. She wasn’t letting him go because she couldn’t trust him, but because she thought she was hurting him.

He let out a big heartfelt puff of air. “We need to take some time.”

Time? Another few tears slipped from her lashes. It looked as if he noticed because he started to reach for her.

“No.” Confused, she held out her hand to stop his touch. He wasn’t breaking up with her? Just wanting a reprieve. That felt … wrong.

He tried to reach for her again.

“I’m fine.” Her voice trembled along with her heart with that bold-faced lie, but she reined in what little strength she had. No matter how much this hurt, she had to accept it was for the best.

He nodded, and again looked away as if struggling to find the right way to say something. But hadn’t he already said it?

“I’m leaving,” he finally blurted out.

She hadn’t thought she could feel more pain, but his words did it. Steve was leaving. She wouldn’t see him anymore. Her heart did a complete tumble in her chest.

The questions left her mouth before she could stop them. “Leaving Shadow Falls? Why? Where?”

“To France. There’s a school in Paris. It’s especially for shape-shifters. It’s very elite, they only invite two or three a year, and both Perry and I were asked to attend for some special classes.”

She heard it—the tiniest bit of pride in his voice. He was excited. He had a right to be, she told herself. Yet, all that pain twisted inside her until she felt anger. “Excuse me if I don’t congratulate you.” A voice inside her head said her rage was unjustified. Or was it? “How long have you known about the invitation?” The question came out like an accusation.

He stared at her, confused—or was that guilt again?

“How long?”

When he didn’t answer, she blurted out her thoughts. “Are you just using this whole ‘Chase’ thing as a way to justify your leaving?”

He shook his head. “I found out a month ago, but I hadn’t made up my mind about going.”

He’d known about this for a month? A month that he’d been working his way into her heart, stealing kisses, making her care, and the whole time he’d been considering leaving?

She closed her eyes for a second, dealing with the swarm of emotions. His earlier words finally sank in. She snapped her eyes open. “Wait, did you say Perry’s going?”

He nodded. “It’s such an honor to be invited. He can’t turn it down.” She thought of her roommate/best friend losing her beloved Perry. The witch was going to be miserable, inconsolable. And Della would be right there with her. Hell, Della was even going to miss Perry.

Steve just stood there staring. Della blinked away a few more tears, knowing this was what her roommate had been holding back from her. Thankfully, she was so emotionally bombarded over Steve, over what Miranda was feeling, that she didn’t have any angst to aim at the girl for keeping secrets.

Nope. All her angst went in one direction. Right at the sexy shape-shifter standing in front of her. “Enjoy France.” She turned to walk away, but heard him say her name. For some unknown reason—just call her a masochist—she turned around.

“This isn’t all about the school, Della! Did I want to go to the school? Hell, yes. Did I feel torn about going and leaving you? Yes. But then it occurred to me that it wasn’t just about missing you that made me not want to go. It was about losing you. Losing you to Chase. And that’s when I started questioning everything. And then I saw you two staring at each other and I knew … I knew that even if I passed up the school opportunity, there was a good chance I’d still lose you. There is something between you two and you need to figure it out. And I can’t stick around and watch it without going crazy.”

She nodded, giving him that much. But if he wanted her to say it was okay—okay that he’d pushed his way through her guard, gotten her to care about him, all the while knowing he was going to leave—well, that wasn’t okay!

A month ago, she could have let him go and not hurt so much, if only he’d let her be. If only he hadn’t pushed his way into her nightly runs. Into her life. Into her heart.