Ecstasy Untamed (Feral Warriors #6)(20)

Faith ran a slender hand through her hair, scattering the blue-tipped ends over her shoulders. She opened her mouth, then closed it, as if loyalty to her future mate kept her from voicing her frustration. "I'm sorry," she said at last. "I don't understand him."

Kara's hand covered Faith's. "No one's judging you by his actions."

Lyon grunted. "New Ferals are often a pain in the ass."

Faith's gaze slid to Hawke for the first time since she walked into the room, then away again, as if she couldn't quite bring herself to look at him. Out of loyalty to Maxim? Or because he'd scared the shit out of her by going feral? He ached at the thought that it might be the latter.

"I'm surprised he let you out of his sight," Wulfe muttered.

Faith's expression turned rueful. "Maxim's attention is . . . erratic."

In other words, as long as Hawke wasn't in the room, he ignored her. The prick. She didn't belong with him. But Maxim would never willingly let her go. Certainly not to him. War would erupt, and Faith would forever be caught in the middle.

No, if she left Maxim, she'd leave Feral House. And neither of them would see her again. Which was the worst outcome of all.

She stood, and he was afraid she already meant to leave. "I actually came to find another glass of lemonade."

"I'll get it," Kara offered, starting to rise, but Faith waved her back.

Hawke rose and caught up with Faith just as she reached the swinging door. She glanced up at him with shadowed eyes but no fear. If he'd seen fear, he'd have backed away.

"I'm sorry, Faith," he said quietly, as they entered the empty kitchen together. He could hear the sound of a television coming from Pink's apartments on the far side of the kitchen, accompanied by Xavier's voice and the soft ring of Pink's laughter.

Faith glanced at him uncertainly. "Sorry for what?" She reached for the refrigerator, turning her slender back to him.

His fingers itched to reach for her, to pull her back against him, to feel her in his arms. Instead, he leaned back against the island, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I'm sorry for provoking him."

She pulled the glass pitcher out of the fridge and set it on the counter, her brows drawn as if to argue, but he lifted his hand. "I did." His voice softened. "I told you how pretty you looked, right in front of him. His comment about your wardrobe made me angry. But I shouldn't have said anything. I knew how he'd react. I wanted him on the defensive with you. Unfortunately, I didn't foresee the chain of events that had him retaliating with the dig about my animal and you paying for it. He hurt you, and it was my fault."

She turned away from him, found a glass, and poured herself some lemonade. "Do you want any?" she asked, without glancing at him.

"No, thank you."

Without replying, she put the pitcher away, then took a sip of her drink, not letting him off the hook. Not accepting his apology. He couldn't read her at all right now, and it bothered him. He still worried . . . "Did I scare you when I went feral?"

Black lashes swept up as she met his gaze. For several seconds, she said nothing before finally answering. "A little. I can't imagine anyone not feeling a thrill of fear the first time they watch a man grow fangs and his eyes turn to those of an animal. Though I was surprised you didn't have bird eyes and talons. You looked like you might shift into a jungle cat."

"All shape-shifters look the same in that in-between state. Except the vipers. Once upon a time, the nonpredatory animals would have been at a serious disadvantage otherwise."

She took another sip of the lemonade, her expression pensive. Smiley was nowhere in evidence.

"Tell me what you're thinking, Faith," he said softly.

Her surprised gaze snapped back up to meet his, and again, she took her time to answer, taking a long drink of the lemonade before setting the half-empty glass on the counter. "I don't want to be responsible for you and Maxim never getting along. I don't want to be the bone of contention between you."

Her words shamed him. "I don't want that either."

"He's going to be my mate, Hawke."

"I know." And he did, as much as it ate at him to admit it. Goddess, how had he screwed this up so badly? He'd never before overstepped with any of his brother's mates. Then again, he'd never felt anything more than affection or protectiveness for any of them. Only this one. And it was probably no coincidence that he was at his lowest right now. "Neither Maxim nor I are completely ourselves at the moment, Smiley. Once everything settles down, we'll be fine. All of us. I'll make sure of it."

Her mouth compressed, then slowly softened with a small, grateful smile that filled him with a pleasure far greater than such a small smile warranted. "Thank you, Hawke."

He returned her smile, his own no bigger than hers despite feeling the urge to grin. "You're welcome."

"I better get back to him before he comes looking for me."

With a rueful nod, he had to agree. Without another word, Faith turned and left.

Slowly, Hawke followed her back into the dining room, watching as she disappeared into the hallway before returning to the table and his friends. The food on his plate was cold, but he ate it anyway, promising himself he'd steer clear of Faith . . . of both her and Maxim. He had nothing to offer her but the anger of her soon-to-be-mate. And that was no gift at all.