Double Dare (Neighbor from Hell #6)(49)

Several times she’d found herself reaching over to take his hand in hers, needing to comfort him, but for the first time since they were kids, she had absolutely no idea how to act around him anymore. They’d had arguments before, but never like this. They’d never gone a day before one of them caved and apologized, but this time they’d gone three weeks without a word.

She’d hated every last minute of it.

She hated that he’d forced her hand in this, hated that he’d done something so foolish as to trap himself with a woman who couldn’t give him what he needed, hated the fact that he would never be a father thanks to her, hated the fact that she felt like she’d taken something so precious away from him, but most of all, she hated the fact that she couldn’t wrap her arms around him and tell him how sorry she was that she’d done this to him.

“I found a hotel with a few extra rooms,” he explained with his jaw clenched tightly, not looking particularly happy or comfortable with this conversation.

She briefly considered asking Kenzie if she could share her room, but common sense swiftly kicked in and had her grabbing her backpack. If there was one thing that she was sure of, it was that Darrin’s baby sister hated absolutely everything about her. Always had, and there was no doubt that she always would. Marybeth had absolutely no idea why the youngest Bradford hated her and after a few years and several failed attempts to try to work it out, she hadn’t cared enough to try to find out.

“The hotel’s only a few minutes down the road,” Darrin promised as they walked towards the front doors, filling the awkward silence, the first that she’d ever experienced with him.

Having absolutely no idea what to say, and knowing that this wasn’t the time or place to say the things that she wanted to say, she settled on nodding and simply followed him as they made their way towards the row of taxis waiting by the curb.

A few minutes later she was sitting in the back seat of a taxi that smelled like peppermint and body odor, waiting for Darrin to join her. When Darrin opted to sit in the front seat instead, she wanted to cry. For the past six years she’d been preparing herself for the day that she could no longer allow herself to hold him and lose herself in his arms, but she’d foolishly believed that they could always go back to the way things used to be.

She’d never allowed herself to truly believe that they were risking their friendship. She’d always believed that nothing and no one would ever be able to come between them, but she’d been wrong. She’d hurt him and now it seemed that they were both paying for it.

By the time the taxi pulled up in front of a Marriott Hotel she’d had enough. Before the car was thrown in park, she was climbing out of the car and heading for the front doors, not really caring if he grabbed her bag for her or not. All she cared about was getting a room and staying there until everything stopped hurting.

Of course there was a line, she thought with a bitter laugh as she reached up with a shaky hand and wiped away the tears threatening to spill over before she lost it. Praying that they hurried up so that she could get out of here before she really lost it, she stared at the dark blue rug leading to the front desk and tried not to think about how much she’d missed him. Just when she thought that she had everything under control, she felt him move up behind her. Her breath caught in her chest as she waited to hear his voice, to feel his touch, but it never came.

Oh, God, she thought struggling to bite back a sob. She’d lost him, lost her best friend, the one person that she loved more than anything and there was nothing that she could do to fix it. She couldn’t give him what he wanted, what he deserved and she couldn’t take away the pain that she’d caused him.

She couldn’t fix this.

“Go have a seat,” he whispered softly in her ear and as much as she wanted to tell him that she was fine, she couldn’t. She just couldn’t…

Nodding numbly, she tightened her grip around her backpack as she walked towards the waiting area and sat down. She kept her head lowered and her eyes squeezed shut, praying that she was able to make it to her room before she really lost it.

The funny thing was, even though she was upset that she’d probably lost Darrin, she was more upset over what Darrin had lost. He deserved children, deserved a family of his own and if he stayed with her, he would never have those things and she just couldn’t let that happen.

“I managed to get a room on the second floor,” Darrin said quietly as he reached down and grabbed her backpack. “Why don’t we go upstairs and settle in before joining everyone for lunch?” he suggested, sounding unsure of himself, a first for him.

Nodding, she stood up and followed him to the bank of elevators. For several minutes she stood there, telling herself that she was doing the right thing. It needed to be done and one day, he’d realize that.

“I think we should talk,” he said a few minutes later when they were standing outside their room.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” she said, because there was nothing that he could say at this point that would change her mind.

They’d made a mistake and it was time to fix it before it was too late. He’d probably hate her for the rest of his life once she did this, but then again, he’d probably hate her no matter what she did at this point.

He didn’t say anything as he opened their hotel door and waited for her to walk inside before he followed her with their bags. Needing something to do, she walked into the room and picked up the room service menu. She felt him the moment that he joined her, but he didn’t say anything.