Don't Hate the Player...Hate the Game(59)

After the bouquet and garter toss, Mom and Greg left to get changed. Once they finished, they would be leaving on their honeymoon. While we waited on their grand exit, Maddie and I ate some cake. As the sugar rush danced over my body, I glanced across the table to find Maddie staring dreamily in the space. “Hey,” I murmured.

“Hmm?” she asked.

“Are you okay?”

She nodded. “Oh, I was just thinking how romantic the wedding was and how wonderful it is your mom found such a great guy after being alone for so long.”

“Yeah, it was nice.”

“I sure hope I don’t have to wait until I’m in my thirties to get married. I think twenty-five is a good age, don’t you?”

Frankly, I’d never given it much thought. I’d certainly never considered a “perfect” marrying age or anything. “I guess.”

Maddie raised her eyebrows. “Don’t you want to get married?”

“Sure, I do. I just haven’t given much thought to when.”

I thought about Jake and the ring. Eighteen was a long shot away from her model twenty-five. I still couldn’t fathom in my wildest thoughts the idea of Jake’s settling down—least of all at eighteen or nineteen. Maybe he had intended a long engagement. Or maybe it was like Jason had suggested—Jake had just bought the ring with the hopes of bagging her and then bailing. But the more I’d learned about the real Jake, the less I thought his motives behind the ring were insincere.

Thinking of him proposing, I asked, “What if you weren’t twenty-five? What if you were younger?”

Maddie shrugged. “As long as I was in love, it wouldn’t matter how old I was. Sure, I’d like to finish college and all, but when the right guy comes along, it won’t matter if I’m twenty or forty.”

Okay, dipshit, do it. It’s the perfect time to tell her. But once again, I was a selfish bastard and kept my mouth pinched shut. The prime moment once again passed me by. I was then interrupted with Mom and Greg saying their good-byes amidst a flurry of birdseed and bubbles. Mom hugged and kissed me bye. “I’ll call and check in on you every day, sweetheart.”

I laughed. “Mom, I’m seventeen. You don’t have to do that.” When she nibbled on her bottom lip, I said, “Don’t worry about me. You just got have fun with Greg on your honeymoon.” The moment those words left my lips I cringed.

“Okay, I will.”

Greg and I gave each other one of those awkward man handshakes. “Have a good time,” I said.”

“Thanks.” Greg patted my back. “And thanks again for coming around about me—it means so much to Maggie, but it means a hell of a lot to me too.”

My mouth gaped open in surprise. I hadn’t anticipated him saying something like that. “Sure man. I’m glad too,” I finally replied.

After Greg and Mom left, the reception wound down, and it was time to go. My conscience weighed heavy on me that I hadn’t come clean about Jake to Maddie. Even when I was alone with her on the way home, I still didn’t tell her. I mean, hell, it should have been a f**king cake walk. I should’ve been able to turn to her and say, “Maddie, Jake was in love with you. So much so he wanted to marry you, and here’s a ring. Have a nice life.” I don’t know what it was that made it impossible.

Maybe it was the sweet smell of her perfume that drove me wild with longing. Or maybe it was way our hands brushed against each other sometimes when I shifted gears. Or maybe it was how much I enjoyed having her with me—just the two of us like we were meant to be together.

So I just couldn’t find the words. And I began to wonder if I ever would.

***

Chapter Eighteen

It was Thursday night, and Maddie and I were coming out of the movies. We’d spent every night together that week. Monday night we’d studied for our finals. I’d even been a good boy and gone to church with her on Wednesday night. It was getting serious. Way more serious than I’d ever bargained for. It wasn’t about Jake anymore. It was about me truly being in love for the first time in my entire life.

Yeah, I was also a giant ass for scamming on my dead best friend’s girl—or at least the girl he had feelings for. I tried defending myself by thinking about how Jake treated her—hiding her away, only acknowledging her as a friend. I tried not to think about the carat of commitment or the song lyrics. If I did, it just made me seem horrible.

I was lost in my thoughts as we walked down the sidewalk. “Earth to Noah!” Maddie said, waving her hand in front of my face.

“Huh?”

She grinned. “Didn’t you hear me?”

“I’m sorry. I was thinking about something else.”

She cocked her head at me, and her smile widened. “Yeah, I thought so.” She stopped walking and motioned towards the coffee shop on the corner.

“Oh, you want to get something to eat?” I asked.

She rolled her eyes. “No silly. Look at the sign.”

I stared past her to the window. “Thursday Open Mic Night” I looked back at her. “So?”

“Why don’t you give it a try?”

I raised my eyebrows. “You want me to go in there and sing in front of a bunch of strangers without any preparation or my guitar?”

Maddie nodded. “Yeah.”