Dolores Claiborne(44)

'Dolores?' she ast, and put a hand on my shoulder. 'Do you have a cramp? Feel faint? Come over and sit down at the table, I'll get you a glass of water.'

I didn't have a cramp, but all at once I did feel a little faint, so I went where she wanted and sat down, except my knees were so rubbery I almost fell into the chair. I watched her gettin me the water and thought about somethin she'd said the last November - that even a mathematical dunderhead like her could add n subtract. Well, even one like me could add three hundred and fifty on the hotel roof and four hundred more on the Island Princess and come out with seven hundred and fifty. That wasn't everybody that'd be on the island in the middle of July, but it was an almighty slug of em, by the Jesus. I had a good idear that the rest would either be out haulin their traps or watchin the eclipse from the shingle and the town docks.

Vera brought me the water and I drank it down all at once. She sat down across from me, lookin concerned. 'Are you all right, Dolores?' she ast. 'Do you need to lie down?'

'No,' I says, 'I just come over funny for a few seconds there.'

I had, too. All at once knowin what day you plan to kill your husband on, I guess that'd be apt to bring anyone over funny.

Three hours or so later, with the warsh done and the marketin done and the groceries put away and the carpets vacuumed and a tiny casserole put away in the refrigerator for her solitary supper (she mighta shared her bed with the hunky from time to time, but I never saw her share her dinner-table with him), I was gatherin up my things to leave. Vera was sittin at the kitchen table, doin the newspaper crossword puzzle.

'Think about coming with us on the boat July twentieth, Dolores,' she says. 'It will be ever so much more pleasant out on the reach than on that hot roof, believe me.'

'Thank you, Vera,' I says, 'but if I've got that day off, I doubt I'll go either place - I'll probably just stay home.'

'Would you be offended if I said that sounds very dull?' she ast, lookin up at me.

When did you ever worry about offendin me or anyone else, you snooty bitch? I thought, but accourse I didn't say it. And besides, she really did look concerned when she thought I might be gonna faint, although that coulda been because she was afraid I'd go down on my nose n bleed all over her kitchen floor, which I'd waxed just the day before.

'Nope,' I says. 'That's me, Vera - dull as dishwater.'

She gave me a funny look then. 'Are you?' she says back. 'Sometimes I think so. . . and sometimes I wonder.'

I said goodbye n went on home, turnin the idear I'd had over n over as I went, lookin for holes. I didn't find none - only maybes, and maybes are a part of life, ain't they? Bad luck can always happen, but if people worried about that too much, nothin would ever get done. Besides, I thought, if things go wrong, I c'n always cry it off. I c'n do that almost right up to the very end.

May passed, Memorial Day came n went, and school vacation rolled around. I got all ready to hold Selena off if she came pesterin about workin at The Harborside, but before we even had our first argument about it, the most wonderful thing happened. Reverend Huff, who was the Methodist minister back then, came around to talk to me n Joe. He said that the Methodist Church Camp in Winthrop had openins for two girl counsellors who had advanced swimmin qualifications. Well, both Selena and Tanya Caron could swim like fish, Huffy knew it, and to make a long story at least a little shorter, me n Melissa Caron saw our daughters off on the ferry the week after school let out, them wavin from the boat and us wavin from the dock and all four of us crying like fools. Selena was dressed in a pretty pink suit for the trip, and it was the first time I got a clear look at the woman she was gonna be. It almost broke my heart, and does still. Does one of you happen to have a tissue?

Thank you, Nancy. So much. Now where was I?

Oh yes.

Selena was taken care of; that left the boys. I got Joe to call his sister in New Gloucester and ask if she and her husband would mind havin em for the last three weeks or so of July and the first week of August, as we'd had their two little hellions for a month or so in the summer a couple of times when they were younger. I thought Joe might balk at sendin Little Pete away, but he didn't - I s'pose he thought of how quiet the place'd be with all three gone and liked the idear.

Alicia Forbert - that was his sister's married name - said they'd be glad to have the boys. I got an idear Jack Forbert was prob'ly a little less glad than she was, but Alicia wagged the tail on that dog,

so there wasn't no problem - at least not there.

The problem was that neither Joe Junior nor Little Pete much wanted to go. I didn't really blame em; the Forbert boys were both teenagers, and wouldn't have so much as the time of day for a couple of squirts like them. I wasn't about to let that stop me, though - I couldn't let it stop me. In the end I just put down my head n bulldozed em into it. Of the two, Joe Junior turned out to be the tougher nut. Finally I took him aside and said, 'Just think of it as a vacation from your father.' That convinced him where nothin else would, and that's a pretty sad thing when you think about it, wouldn't you say?

Once I had the boys' midsummer trip settled, there was nothin to do but wait for em to be gone, and I think that in the end they were glad enough to go. Joe'd been drinkin a lot ever since the Fourth of July, and I don't think even Little Pete found him very pleasant to be around.