Death Wish (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #5)(33)

I climbed in amongst the mountain of pillows and blankets. As tired as I was, I couldn’t relax. “Should I be insulted by that? I’m going after them. Tonight. I’ll torture a name out of somebody.”

“I’m coming with you.” Arys slid into bed beside me still half dressed in silk lounge pants. He sat stiffly against the headboard, edgy and ready. I doubted he would sleep at all today.

When he finally touched me, he simply stroked a hand down the side of my face. A shuddery breath escaped me. In Arys’s touch, I found a deeper connection than I could fully comprehend. The direct contact was rejuvenating. Our energy danced, two entities that must always entangle into one.

A warm tingle spread through me, bringing with it a burst of power that reinforced my growing need for retribution. I captured Arys’s hand and slid my fingers between his. The power burned through us, low and steady. Strong.

“I’m not going to make the mistake of thinking this will be easy,” I said, giving his hand a squeeze. The power surged in response. “But, I’d say it’s about time we show this city what we can do.”

Arys gazed deep into me with a deadly calm. A grim smile tugged at his lips. “I couldn’t agree more.”

Soon, Shaz returned. He stood in the doorway, watching me with an expression I couldn’t read. Arys vacated the bed, going so far as to leave the room. He understood better than we did how much we needed this brief reprieve from the issues in our relationship. How much we needed just to be together.

“Come on.” I patted the bed beside me and smiled. “Don’t leave me all alone in this giant bed.”

He hesitated for only a moment, pausing to strip off his socks, hoodie and t-shirt, before joining me. The wolf within reached out to him before the woman did. I found peace in the presence of his wolf. The wolves didn’t give a damn about vampire nightclubs, human mistakes or hitmen. They knew only the call of nature, the lure of the moon and the beauty of the night. That’s all our wolves wanted.

Shaz snuggled in close. Slipping his arms around my waist, he rested his head against mine. The silence was deafening. It was nice. If only my thoughts would quiet down.

I breathed deeply of his scent, savoring it. I focused on every detail from the warmth of his body against mine to the softness of his hair on the side of my face. We lay curled together the way we had so many times before.

But, things had changed. For one, we hadn’t made love in almost a month. The house where our friendship had formed had just been destroyed. I couldn’t help but wonder if that friendship was just one more part of us that we were bound to lose.

Arys was right. Shaz was part of me, the one who kept me grounded and sane. But, Shaz was also on his own journey, fighting his own battles.

“I miss you.”

My words burst forth on a wave of emotion. I turned my head so I could press my lips to his temple. I lingered there, feeling his pulse beat. The bloodlust lay silent inside me. Whether subdued by Arys’s presence or merely by the recent traumatic experience, I didn’t know. I didn’t care. I was just happy to be free of it.

“I love you, Lex,” he whispered the words into my damp hair. “Please don’t ever forget that.”

“I know.” My voice was a low murmur like his. I was afraid to speak too loud and destroy the hush that had fallen over us. “Arys is right, Shaz. About you and I. We would have been together if he had died a human death. I fell for you before I ever met him.”

Shaz’s breath came hot against my cheek, followed by his lips. “He was already a part of you. You just didn’t know it yet.”

I turned my face so his lips met mine. Could he feel the slight tremble as I kissed him with everything I had? “So were you. And, you just don’t know it yet.”

No further words were necessary. His grip on me tightened possessively. I pulled the blankets up around us like a marshmallow cocoon and settled in for a few hours of fitful sleep.

The scent of coffee roused me just before sunset. I flung out a hand, seeking Shaz but finding only the empty expanse of bed beside me. I sat up, immediately awake. If I had dreamed, I had no memory of it.

The sound of voices reached me. Shaz and Arys spoke in low tones. I swung my legs over the side of the bed, pausing to listen.

“The only reason I haven’t killed her is because it would piss off Alexa,” Arys said. “She should have already done it. She spared the bitch. For you.”

“I know that,” Shaz replied, his tone calm and even. “You think I’m proud of myself for that? It means nothing, me and Bianca. She’s just… she’s nobody.”

So, the bitch had a name. Bianca. It brought a bitter taste to my mouth, and I hadn’t even said it aloud.

“What she is, is convenient. Just like Kale is for Alexa. You each seek to hide your weakness from one another when you should be seeking strength in what you share.” Arys was flippant, believing his words to be unarguable.

“You know, Arys, this belief you have that the three of us can live happily ever after… It’s such bullshit.” Shaz’s tone was sour. I could easily imagine the matching expression he likely wore.

Arys didn’t respond right away. I froze, perfectly still, waiting to hear him address Shaz’s valid claim. That thought had crossed my mind as well. There was no room for three in forever. But, choosing between them was something I’d selfishly refused to do. As long as we were all keeping silent on the harsh reality beneath the deceptive surface of our three-way tie, I wasn’t willing to be the one to speak first and break the illusion.