Deacon (Unfinished Hero #4)(98)

Then I said, “Whatever.”

“Cassidy?”

“What?” I snapped, but my heart wasn’t in it. I was just being ornery.

“Heart and soul, gut and balls, I love you. There’s no one I’d rather hold. Not until I’m eighty. Not until the day I die.”

I kept staring at him a beat before I burst out crying again, (though the last time I didn’t burst, this time I definitely did).

Deacon rolled off me, gathering me in his arms and holding my face in his throat while I did it.

When the tears quieted, but didn’t subside, I felt his words stir the top of my hair.

“Do you love me too, my Cassie?”

My Cassie.

“Heart and soul, belly and womb, I love you too, Deacon.”

His hand at my head and arm around me got so tight, they caused pain.

I didn’t protest.

I’d missed that too.

Chapter Nineteen

Daddy Was Home

It was after our session upstairs, our shower together, we’d dressed and I’d told Deacon I needed to call Milagros to let her know I was okay. He’d told me he’d keep himself occupied in order to give me privacy while I did that.

We went downstairs together and it was me who opened the door to the kitchen to let Bossy free. She immediately saw Deacon and started growling. Then she must have caught his scent because she stopped, began whimpering, dropped her head, and nearly crawled to him.

My nose started stinging with tears again.

Deacon instantly crouched and slowly lifted a hand her way, murmuring, “Yo, Boss Lady.”

She sniffed his hand, her tail started wagging violently, and she jumped up on him, licking his face.

Daddy was home.

Apparently dogs didn’t forget.

Boss Lady was so like me.

I hurried into the kitchen to give them their moment.

Okay, I did it so I wouldn’t bawl like a baby again.

Once there, I set about making Deacon a snack.

Because, of course, he’d told me he’d made his decision to return to me, didn’t waste time, so on his way, he didn’t eat.

* * * * *

“So is his name John Priest or Deacon Gates?” Milagros demanded to know through the phone at my ear.

While Deacon was eating and bonding with Bossy, I’d put on a jacket, scarf, and gloves, took my throw out to the porch, wrapped it around my legs, and called Milagros.

Milagros wasn’t very happy with my explanation that I was fine, mostly because it came with the inclusion of the fact that Deacon and I were talking (amongst other things that I didn’t tell her) and working it out.

“His name is Deacon Gates,” I said into the phone.

“And how is that, Cassidy?”

“Can I explain that part later?” I requested, buying time because I knew that explanation would be uncomfortable. I just hoped it wouldn’t end in me losing a friend who was important to me because I’d lied to her. “And I will, I promise.”

She was silent a moment before she said, “I had a bad feeling about him and I didn’t say anything when he left you. I didn’t remind you of that. I didn’t because you didn’t need reminding because he took all the life out of you and I didn’t want to hurt you further. But now, his returning out of nowhere having a different name doesn’t make me feel any better, even if I hear it in your voice that you have that life back.”

Well, that was good to know.

I decided to go for it.

“I knew his name was Deacon before,” I admitted hesitantly.

This just brought silence.

“I’m sorry. I really am,” I continued quickly. “But he was it for me and he came with boundaries. Now there are no boundaries, at least that’s what he says anyway. But we haven’t gotten into that and we need to get into it. The only thing I can tell you now is that I had him, the real him, and you, Manuel, and the kids did too. He just used a different name.”

I heard her sigh before she said, “People do many things for many reasons, and those reasons are the right reasons even if another person might think they’re wrong. That other person, they do not live in those shoes.”

God, she got it.

I felt extreme relief.

Then, unfortunately, she kept going.

“But with that, mi amiga, you do those things and you don’t hurt people along the way. If you do, then they’re not right. They’re just wrong.”

“I hear you.”

“I hope he did what he had to do for the right reasons.”

“His wife died an ugly death, Milagros.” I heard her soft gasp at this news but went on, “And he feels guilt he didn’t save her. He was working through that. My understanding so far is, he worked through it and came back to me.”

“Dios mio,” she said softly.

“Yes,” I agreed. “Now, I hate to cut this short because I know you’re worried but I need to get back to him. He’s bonding with Bossy, and a lot has happened since he showed up, but there’s a lot left to be said. We’ll have a good gab soon.”

“Okay, Cassidy. But I must leave you with this: the most important person in the world is you. Whatever you decide, do it taking care of you.”

She was totally the bomb.

“I am. I will. I promise,” I told her.