Darkest Before Dawn (KGI #10)(127)

So two weeks before her due date, they’d traveled to Tennessee and Guy had announced they were staying until Honor gave birth and Maren gave her the all clear to travel back home. He just never bothered to tell anyone where “back home” was. That was a highly guarded secret that only Guy and Honor knew, and he’d insisted that not even their families know because they couldn’t very well be forced to give information they didn’t have.

Honor swallowed because Guy was looming over her, fairly seething, agitation rolling off him in waves at the mere mention of more children.

“I will never put you through that again,” he said through tightly clenched teeth as his scowl deepened. Then his entire face softened and love warmed his eyes. “You gave me a son, something I never thought I’d have. You gave me a real family. Something of my own. My blood. You and Reece are enough for me. You’ll always be enough for me.”

She laughed. She couldn’t help herself, though he had no liking for her amusement. “Guy, my delivery was as uncomplicated as it gets! It was smooth and went off without a hitch. I was only in labor for six hours.”

His face went pale and his eyes were haunted. Her heart twisted as she saw the conflicting emotions so evident in his gaze.

“God, Honor, you were in so much pain,” he said in a tortured voice. “You’ve had enough pain and suffering. Pain I caused. Me! And I’ll be damned if I cause you any more.”

Her entire demeanor went soft and her heart filled with so much love for this man. What would her life ever be without him? She lifted her hand to his face and softly caressed his cheek.

“Honey, pain is normal in childbirth. Since the beginning of time. But the reward . . . Oh, Guy, the reward is worth every bit of pain and suffering because the result is a precious baby boy or girl.”

She eased up from the couch, extricating herself from Guy’s grasp. She went to where her beautiful son was enjoying the bouncer he’d nearly grown out of, and when he saw her, he rewarded her with a wide grin that sported two partially grown in front teeth on top and bottom. He immediately began kicking and wiggling his entire body, further reminding Honor that the bouncer would have to go soon before he either broke it or launched himself right out of it. She picked him up and cradled him in her arms, gently running her hand over his soft skin. Then she looked up at Guy, all the love she had for both her husband and her son shining like a beacon in her eyes.

“What I hold in my arms is worth any amount of pain. You won’t change my mind on that.”

Guy shook his head, a stubborn look she was well acquainted with reflecting in his eyes. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at her, his lips in a thin line.

“Reece will be our only child. I will not allow you to go through all that again.”

She rolled her eyes and then smiled as she rose up on tiptoe, Reece nestled between their bodies and kissed Guy.

“I love you, but it’s too late to deny me another child. You’re just going to have to suck it up and accept the inevitable.”

He stared at her in complete shock, absolutely stunned. For a long moment he opened and closed his mouth, utterly speechless. He looked as though he’d been hit over the head with a sledgehammer.

“You’re pregnant again?” he asked hoarsely. “It’s too soon, Honor.” Panic was fast invading his voice and he began to shake violently from head to toe. “You’re not even fully recovered from your first pregnancy!”

He looked terrified, his eyes bleak.

“I can’t lose you. You’re my everything. God, what have I done? What have I done? You were on birth control. This shouldn’t have happened. What have I done?” he repeated for a third time, desperation unhinging him. “I’ll hurt you. I can’t put you through this again. Especially not so soon.”

He rubbed his hands over his face and then up and over his head, utter despair making his body sag. Never had she seen him this way. Strong. Unbreakable. Always in control. Able to turn it off at will. And yet now, he was falling apart, shattering before her very eyes.

The one thing she couldn’t do was to respond in kind. She had to make light of the situation and show him she wasn’t in the least afraid.

“I’d say you have some very potent swimmers,” she teased. “Birth control has kryptonite and apparently it’s you.”

He glowered at her attempt at humor.

“How can you joke about something like this? If something happens to you, Reece won’t have a mother and I won’t have you.”

Okay so humor was out. She’d pull out the big guns then. She looked at him with big, sad eyes and actually pouted, something she’d never imagined herself doing. But if it worked then hey, she wouldn’t spare an ounce of remorse. She couldn’t help it because her husband was as dense as fog and insanely overprotective of her.

“Guy, you knew I wanted a large family before we got married,” she said in a low, quivering voice that may or may not sound like she was close to tears. “Would you deny me that? Knowing it’s something I want with all my heart and soul?”

He scowled and then scrubbed a hand over his head, down the back to clasp his nape. Then he closed his eyes.

“You know damn well I’d give you anything you wanted. I’d give you the world. But damn it, Honor. I don’t want to lose you!”