Darker (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #6)(33)

“You should know better,” I scolded. “You could be helping him get his hands on something he should never have.”

“Honestly, as long as it doesn’t affect us, I don’t give a damn what Shya does.”

I grumbled obscenities under my breath. With coffee in hand, I sat down in front of the laptop and turned it on. I could feel Arys watching me.

“Always on the hunt for answers,” he observed. “You’re going to drive yourself crazy.”

“Already halfway there,” I tossed back. “Every time I find answers, I only end up with more questions. I can’t stop looking. I’m sick of being in the dark. Especially now that I know my parents worked for the FPA.”

Arys’s noise of surprise gave me some satisfaction… Until he followed it up with a snotty remark.

“That explains so much, although it doesn’t explain why the hell you would willingly walk back into that building if you knew that. You’re reckless, Alexa. I get that. I grudgingly accept it. But, when did you become such a fool?”

“Did you just call me stupid?” I spun in my chair to face him, a growl rumbling in my throat.

A smirk curved his lips. “I did no such thing. Are you looking for a fight, my love? You know I’m always happy to comply.”

“I noticed.” With a scowl, I turned back to the laptop. I was touchy and temperamental. I was mad at him for making a deal with Shya, certain it would come back to haunt us.

“Are you really that pissed off at me? I only want to protect you.” His tone was serious; all sense of playfulness had vanished.

“I feel betrayed,” I confessed. “You warned me about Shya. You gave me shit for accepting the Dragon Claw from him. Now, you’re making deals with him. It’s shady. It makes me ill.”

The silence hung heavy and long. I stared at my laptop. I was afraid to see what expression he wore. The truth was I felt insecure. I’d already lost Shaz. Kale had gone from forbidden lover to murderous enemy. Arys was mine in the deepest sense, yet the promise of trial and conflict between twin flames had me worried. We weren’t meant to live happily ever after.

There was a squeak as Arys slid off the island stool. He joined me at the table, dragging a chair close to mine. “What is it you’re not saying?”

“I miss Shaz like crazy.” I sighed; those words carried a heavy weight. “I watched us fall apart, and I was helpless to stop it. I can’t go through that again. Not with you.”

“That will never happen,” he insisted, but I could see the doubt in his eyes. He knew as well as I did that being bound to one another didn’t guarantee us anything. Arys was quiet, thoughtful. After a minute he added, “Shaz misses you like crazy too, you know.”

I stiffened. The files momentarily forgotten, I turned to him in shock. “Has he been in touch with you?”

Arys froze. If the vampire could have paled, he would have. Realizing the error of his words, he shook his head and swore.

“He’s called a few times.” The admittance fell from his lips like acid. It burned. “He needed to know you were ok.”

“Then why didn’t he call me?” It stung that Shaz would stay in touch with the man he could barely stand but not with me. “And, why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

Arys reached to take my hand, but I stood up and walked away from the table. I felt betrayed by both of them. How many other things were the two of them hiding from me? Maybe I was blowing it up bigger than it was. I’d been missing Shaz for weeks now, fearing that he would never come back. This hurt.

“He asked me not to tell you. He knew if he called you, he wouldn’t be able to stay away. It’s killing him not to be here with you, but he’s feeling better now. The urges, the need for a fix, it’s not consuming him anymore.”

My shoulders slumped and I sighed. “That’s good. I’m happy to hear that. I’m just feeling sorry for myself. And, it irks me when you guys talk about me. It’s stupid, I know.”

I felt remorseful. I couldn’t begrudge Shaz the time and space he needed. I owed him the same understanding he’d shown me so many times.

“You don’t want us fighting, but you don’t want us talking.” Arys forced a dramatic sigh. “Make up your mind, woman.”

I smiled, a painfully tight action. “Yeah. Good luck with that.”

Knowing Shaz was doing well would go a long way in helping me sleep easier. It didn’t erase the irritation I felt toward Arys for hiding the information. He knew how desperately I’d been missing my wolf mate. He’d had the ability to ease my mind, but he chose not to.

My phone rang before I could further vent my frustration. The fast-paced strains of “Gangnam Style” filled the room, and I flipped Arys the bird. He made no attempt to hide his glee. The bastard was always changing my ringtone to the most ridiculous songs. He’d do anything to embarrass or annoy me.

It was Brogan, not entirely unexpected but possibly worrisome.

“Brogan, hey,” I answered. “Everything ok?”

“Fine. I didn’t wake you, did I? I wasn’t sure if you’d be asleep or not.”

“Nope. Not yet. What’s up?”

Her voice was tight, pitched a little higher than normal. “Gabriel’s mother called. She said he never came home last night. I’m worried about him.”