Damon (The Protectors #1)(46)
She had a sinking feeling she knew what was up. She stepped into his line of vision forcing him to look at her. “Damon, I am going to ask one more time what is wrong. I am not going to beg, but I know something just happened and it’s only fair for you to tell me.”
His head turned toward her, but his eyes were slower to make it to her and when they did she gasp. They were blacker than she had ever seen them and rimmed with fiery red. “It's not you Nicole. I just have to leave for a bit.”
“You need to feed.” Her hand flew to her mouth. “My blood did this to you?”
He nodded. “It's fine Nicole. I just waited too long.”
Reaching up she touched his cheek. “Then feed from me.”
He stepped away from her as if her touch burned him. “No.” His eyes shifted everywhere but back to her.
“Why not? I don't understand. I have blood...you need blood. You've helped me so much let me help you.” Nicole took a step toward him and he stepped back which was starting to piss her off a tad. “You act like you don't want me anywhere near you.”
“I'm not taking your blood Nicole.” Damon hissed, taking another step back. “So just let it go.”
“Why are you acting like this?” Nicole frowned.
“Like what?” He shifted glancing at his phone.
Okay, she wasn't an idiot and she could take a hint, like how he was shifting around wanting to get away from her. Yeah, been there done that. Well, she wasn't going to make it easy on him. Hell with that. “Like an *.” She shot back. “Is my blood not good enough for you?”
“You don't know what you're talking about Nicole.” He hissed, glaring at her this time instead of his phone.
“Then why don't you explain it to me. Do I even have a shot with you or am I the wrong species?” She snapped, closing the gap and poking him in the chest. “What is it vamp; I'm good enough to f*ck, but not good enough to suck? What, my blood isn't good enough for you?”
He was silent, except for the grinding of his jaw.
His silence was enough answer for her. Even though her heart was trashed she still had her pride that saw her through the worse moments in her life and by God it would get her through this. “You know Damon, I know all about vamps taking the blood of humans and the bloodlust, blah, blah, blah and I don't take it lightly, but you are a warrior and I trust you never to hurt me, but that isn't it, is it? You are afraid to be mated to a human. I know you can be mated to one because Jared told me.”
“Jared's an idiot, but you're right, I don't want to be mated to anyone and I will never turn you.” Damon replied. “I shouldn't have let this go as far as it has.”
“What, playing with the little human?” Nicole snorted. Walking toward the bookshelf he had placed in front of her door she tried to push it out of the way, but it wouldn't budge. “Dammit....” She felt tears close and prayed to God they didn't spill over before she could get him out of the apartment.
“I wasn't playing with you.” Damon marched over, moving her out of the way. She pulled her arm away from his grip with a snap. With ease, he picked up the book case with books and all moving it back to where it was. He turned to look at her and for a brief moment sorrow filled his eyes, but then was gone in a flash.
“Just go Damon.” Nicole wished to God she had put her clothes on. She felt stupid standing in a towel trying to be all serious.
“You're the one with the friends with benefits idea.” He snapped, then frowned shaking his head. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.”
Wow, that was harsh and hurt like hell. With a sad smile she cocked her head. “You meant it and you're right. I was wrong. I want more....you don't, obviously.” Sighing deeply, her heart breaking more than she ever imagined, she actually laughed with a bitter edge. “You know, I thought it would be easier the older I got.” She grabbed his bag handing it to him as she edged him toward the door.
“What?” Damon looked confused.
“Loving someone and having it thrown back in my face.” Shaking her head before he could speak she started closing the door. “I can't just have a one sided thing Damon. You have your reasons for wanting to stay distant and I understand, even though you won't talk to me about it, but I understand. The friends with benefits was because I wanted you so bad and hoped that you could find a way to love me.”
Damon stuck his foot between the door and the frame before she could shut it. “You love me?”
“Yeah Damon.” Being honest was the only way she was going to know how he felt and she was sick of the back and forth stuff. Either he would stay and work things out or he would walk away. It was in his court now, but the not knowing was going to end now. “I think it's obvious to everyone but you. I have never offered anyone else my blood, which by the way freaks me out, but yeah, I would give every ounce of blood I have in my body for you. If that's not love than I don't know what is.”
They both stood still as stone, him in the hall and her holding so tightly to the door she was surprised the wood didn't splinter, staring at each other. As the minutes went by so did Nicole's control. Finally, he moved his hand up to rub it down his face as if frustrated. “I don't know what to say.”