Dair (The Wild Side #3)(31)

It was indescribable, this feeling of absolute certainty and disbelief.

I could not take my eyes off that child, not from a distance and especially not when they got very close.

The boy could not take his eyes off me either.

His head straightened up from Heath’s shoulder as he studied me nearly as intently as I was studying him.

Heath ruffled the boy’s hair and kissed him on the forehead, like he’d done it a million times.  They were obviously close.

That made my eyes swing to him and glare.

Heath glared right back, but when he tilted his head and looked down at the boy, his eyes softened to unrecognizable.

He adored this child.

“This ‘im, Unca Heaf?” the child asked.

“Yeah, sport, it sure is.  Can’t you tell?  You look just like him.”

I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak, couldn’t form a coherent thought, my whole astonished self wrapped up in this little person I’d only just set eyes on, only discovered existed an endless minute ago.

I tried to clear my throat, to say something, because I had questions I needed answers to, but it all escaped me, powerful emotion moving through me like a Mack truck, all of it rushing up to clog my throat and bring moisture to my eyes.

“Dair,” Heath said, his tone changing, cooling, of course, when he was talking to me.  “Meet Cameron Alasdair Masters.”

I almost fell to my knees right there.  What breath I had left was knocked clean out of me.

My middle name was Cameron.

She’d given him my full name, every piece of it.

If him looking like a miniature version of myself wasn’t enough to tell me who this child was, certainly the name did.

Little Cameron blinked his big eyes at me once, twice.  “Daddy?”   His voice was tentative, and it was clearly a question.

He knew who I was.  He’d been told about me.

Even the two year old was more apprised of the situation than I was.  He was clearly related to Iris and Heath.

I had to clear my throat three times to get my answer out.  “Yes,” I told my son emotionally.  “I’m your daddy.”

He reached out an arm to me, and I wasn’t sure what to do.

I shifted closer, even getting into Heath’s personal space to accommodate this little child’s silent request.

Cameron patted my shoulder, giving me a few expectant blinks.  “Hugs,” he said, tugging me into both him and Heath, forcing me and the other man into an awkward group hug.

Heath didn’t say one word, just let out a little protesting grunt and let the child have his way.

Carefully and determinedly, I peeled Cameron off and away from him, clutching him to me.  Holding my son for the very first time.

“Hugs,” I finally agreed, squeezing my eyes shut tight as his little arms wrapped snugly around my neck.

We stayed like that for a very long time; him burrowed into me, me taking deep breaths as I processed the fact that I was a father.

Finally, I looked up at Heath, who watched me back with a gimlet-eyed Heath expression.

“Is she . . . ?”  I couldn’t even finish the question.

“She’s alive and well, in protective custody until all of the things she needs protection from are taken care of, which shouldn’t be too much longer.  I’ve eliminated all but a few as of now.”

“She never even told me she was pregnant,” I said slowly, trying to keep my voice calm.

The shock was ebbing and some righteous anger was flowing right back in to take its place.

“She couldn’t.  She didn’t have the opportunity.  And she was trying to spare you the pain of thinking you’d lost them both, instead of just her.”

My voice was less calm as I shot back, “Over two years without a word.  How could she keep this from me for so long?  How could she keep everything from me?  I thought she was—”

Heath had not one iota of understanding or empathy in either his face or his words.  Just the opposite.  But that was Heath for you.  In this particular situation, it had an almost calming effect on me, strange as that was.

“You’re a fool,” he said, voice low.  “If she’d come to you earlier, she never could have stayed, not for any length of time.  And besides that, you know she’d never put you in danger.  For some reason I can’t fathom, she loves you.”

That had something painful and wonderful blooming deep in my chest.  In spite of everything, the time lost, the grief spent, the uncertainty and the confusion, I loved her still.  Even if it was coming from Heath, it was so good to hear that she was alive and well and might still love me back.

“Now, or soon, it will be safe for her to come to you, if you want that.  You haven’t moved on, so I assume you still want her?”

I didn’t hesitate, I’d had years to put things in perspective, but I could only nod.  I wasn’t capable of discussing my feelings with Heath.  That would be as pointless as explaining poetry to a fish.  Well, in this case, more like a shark.

He pulled a folded piece of paper out of his back pocket and thrust it at me.

I took it, shooting him a questioning look, unable to unfold it with only one hand.

“That’s a list of the things you’ll need for him.  If I were you, I’d head to the store right away.  Welcome to parenthood.  Hopefully you don’t suck at it, because you’re on your own for a month or so.”