Crossing the Line (Pushing the Limits #1.1)(16)

~ Lila

With a hip cocked in the door frame of Lila’s room, I watch as she towel-dries her hair. Earlier, I witnessed Lila hit bull’s-eye after bull’s-eye with that paintball gun. The girl ain’t playing. Experiencing her Rambo side brought on some fear.

I chuckle to myself. It also turned me on.

The late-afternoon sun floats into her bedroom. We’ve got a few hours until nightfall. Being a natural climber, I called the high position in the trees. Lila plans to be at ground level.

She tosses the towel into a hamper and combs through her hair. “When will you have to leave?” she asks.

“I called my parents while you were in the shower. I told them I’d be home by Monday morning.” I also told them to expect major changes when I finally did arrive home—that I was going to focus on my future, not on the past. They weren’t happy I left so suddenly and that I didn’t graduate, but they weren’t irate.

She bites her lower lip and sinks to her bed. “So you’ll be leaving tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m glad you came,” she says.

“Me too.” Our gazes meet, and it’s the most comfortable I’ve ever felt staring into someone else’s eyes. “Will you be okay by yourself?”

She nods. “I’ll probably wake to every little sound, but I’ll be fine.”

“That’s my girl.” My eyes widen as I realize what I said. Lila’s not my girl. I want her to be, but... “I mean—”

“No, I like what you said.” Lila glances away, her hair swinging into her face.

Could she possibly feel what I feel? Lila and I were once strangers who met at a funeral. We became friends through letters, bonded by a shared dream of college in another state, and then I fell for her. Could she have also fallen for me?

In a handful of hours, I’m going to head home, and the one lesson I learned from Josh’s death is that life has to be lived now; the future isn’t always guaranteed. I have this one shot with her, and I’m going to take it. “This past fall you told me that you felt close to me even though we’re hundreds of miles away.”

Lila’s eyes jump to mine, I guess in shock that I remembered.

“Well,” I continue, “that’s what it’s been like for me too. I’ve never shared my private thoughts with someone other than you, and I can’t imagine sharing them with anyone else.”

I pause, terrified to continue. If I’m wrong on this, I’ll ruin the relationship Lila and I share. Lila fidgets with a strand of her wet hair and keeps those gorgeous innocent eyes locked on me. No, I’ve fallen for her and I’ll regret walking away from this moment.

“I like you, Lila. As more than a friend. I wake up in the morning and I think of you. I go to bed at night and you’re the last thought in my mind. I dream of you. The best days of the week are the ones when I get your letters.”

She blinks once, her face frozen. My stomach sinks. “But if you don’t feel the same way, it’s okay. I swear—”

“Lincoln,” she says before I can finish. “I feel that same way...for you.”

I inhale as if it’s the first breath I’ve ever taken. Lila cares for me. I step into her room and pause beside her. “Can I sit?” Because it’s her bed and there’s no way I’m assuming I’ve got permission for a place as sacred as that.

She scoots over, creating a space for me. I lower onto the bed and my heart picks up speed. I rub my hands against my jeans and release a slow, steady stream of air. “I’ll be starting summer school on Monday.”

Lila angles her body toward me, a sure sign I’ve got her attention.

“My guidance counselor said that I’ve got a good chance at spring admission to the University of Florida because of my ACT and SAT scores and my grades before this year. He thinks if I can focus on summer school and write a kick-ass essay on how I learned from my screwup, the admissions board will look past my mistakes.

“I’m going to admit, until I came here, I was still ignoring what needed to be done. I knew I wanted to fix us, but watching you tackle your fears has helped me realize that I’ve got to tackle mine. I’ve made mistakes and I’m going to make it right.”

Her thin, delicate fingers rest on her knee. Two and a half years ago, Lila and I sat outside a funeral home and she had the courage to reach over to me when I described my relationship with my older brother. No, I didn’t cry at Josh’s funeral, but what I never told anyone was how I wept like a baby to a girl I had never met before...to Lila.

Channeling the same strength she showed that night, I place my hand over hers. Lila immediately laces her fingers with mine.

I continue. “I should have told you the truth about not graduating before, but I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me—I didn’t want to admit that I let you down. I know I’m going to be a semester late, but I’m coming to Florida, Lila, and I swear I won’t let you down again.”

A tender smile eases onto her lips. “And I’ll be there—waiting.”

My chest expands as I lean into her. Her lavender scent engulfs me, and those sky blue eyes draw me in. “I like you,” I whisper as I nuzzle the satin skin of her cheek. More than like, but I don’t want to rush things.