Come A Little Bit Closer (The Sullivans #7)(64)

Valentina put her arms around her. “I love you, T.”

“I love you, too,” Tatiana said and when a knock sounded on the door a second later, she added, “Enough to tell you I think you should give Smith a chance. A real one, this time, so that he can show you exactly what he’s made of. And so you can show him what you’re made of, too.”

Tatiana didn’t wait for Valentina to respond before hopping off the couch and opening the trailer door for Smith. “She’s inside,” Tatiana said, and then in a lower voice that Valentina couldn’t hear she told him, “If you hurt her, I’ll hurt you,” before leaving the two of them alone.

Chapter Twenty-three

Valentina was standing in the middle of the trailer when Smith stepped inside. God, even looking at her now away from the lights and cameras and the crew, he couldn’t get her expression when they’d finished filming out of his head.

Knowing how thin his thread was where Valentina was concerned, as soon as they’d started shooting the sex scene, Smith had steeled himself not to look at her, and to keep his full focus on Tatiana. But it had been impossible to block Valentina out, as for the first time ever while working, he felt completely ripped in two.

All it would have taken was one look into her devastated eyes and he would have made the split-second decision not only to cut a scene that needed so badly to be in his movie, but also to call a halt to the day’s filming altogether. Were it not for the cast and crew and studios and investors that were counting on him to get it right, he would have walked off the set, taken Valentina’s hand, and disappeared with her to a place where Hollywood and make-believe didn’t exist.

And yet, after he and Tatiana finally finished filming what had been the most difficult scene of his career, and he’d let himself turn to Valentina again, Smith hadn’t been anywhere close to prepared for how pale her skin had become, how horrified her eyes had been...or the mask of betrayal and sadness she wore.

Had he made the wrong choice?

And had he just lost the only thing that truly mattered?

Unexpectedly, Summer and his brother Gabe had come to see him on set and even though he loved the kid to pieces, every second away from Valentina had been excruciating. He’d needed to go to her, to try to make things right. Thankfully, his brother had been able to tell something was wrong. On a promise to bring Summer back to the set soon, Gabe had distracted her with a table of sweets for the crew.

After they left, Smith had all but sprinted off the set to get to Valentina. No one dared to get in his way, and if they had, he would have mowed them down. Now that he was finally with her, he didn’t think, could barely string two thoughts together when she was near. He just pulled her into his arms...and prayed she wouldn’t pull away.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for today to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you. I won’t ever hurt you again, I promise.” With every sentence, he stroked one hand down her back, her hands trapped against his chest. She had to feel just how hard, how fast his heart was beating.

“It did hurt,” she said softly into his neck, and the one short sentence felt like it had reached in and ripped his heart out. “But—” The breath she took shook her chest. “—it wasn’t you who hurt me. I did it to myself.”

He drew back so that he could look into her eyes. He didn’t completely understand what she’d just said and he needed to. “I screwed this up so bad, I can’t believe it. I prepared Tatiana for today, but I—” Damn it, he should have tried harder to talk with Valentina about today before it happened, but he’d been afraid. Afraid that even talking about it would make her run. “My entire career, I never had a problem with filming sex scenes. But it killed me today. Please, tell me it isn’t too late to tell you how much it kills me to touch anyone but you.”

“It’s part of your job, Smith, one I don’t want to steal piece by piece from you because you’re worried about what I might think or feel about you playing a certain role.”

But didn’t she see? He’d been so worried about the importance of investors and the studio and his reputation that he hadn’t realized what was truly important until it was nearly too late.

Her.

“I didn’t think today would be so hard. Not after all the times I’ve had to pretend to make love with married actresses, with women I don’t like, with complete strangers, even with friends.” He dropped his hands from her shoulders and moved away in self-disgust, his hands going to his hair, pulling the dark strands up straight. “Being with your sister onscreen today was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

He could see in Valentina’s eyes the same bleakness that he felt down deep in his soul. He hadn’t cheated on her, but nothing felt right anymore. A simple, pure love story without strife or complication was what he’d wanted so badly to give her. But he’d given her just the opposite today.

And, still, even though it wasn’t fair to ask her for anything else, he wanted so much from her.

So much more than he’d ever wanted from any other woman.

“I’m not going to lie to you,” she said softly, “today was bad. Really, really bad.”

When he winced at the terrible part he’d played in causing her so much pain, she reached for him. He looked down at her elegant fingers on the muscles of his forearm, then found himself holding his breath as she slowly slid them down to his hand.