Colters' Promise (Colters' Legacy #4)(20)

Lauren’s eyes clouded. “How?” she cracked out. “How could you possibly know? Or understand? Your husbands would never …”

Holly shook her head. “No, they wouldn’t. Thank God for that. I thank God for them every single day. But you know what? I didn’t always have them. I was running from my first husband when Adam found me lying in a ditch. He took me home, and he and his brothers helped put me back together. They protected me, they loved me, and they gave me the strength to fight back when the time came.”

Lauren’s eyes rounded in surprise. “You … Someone—your husband—hurt you?”

Holly nodded. “Lauren, honey, you can’t hide from the world forever, and moreover, you can’t hide from the people who love you. My husbands and my sons are dying to spoil you rotten and treat you like an honorary daughter and sister. Hell, they spoil Callie shamelessly and she’s a married, grown woman. It’s bad enough Max gives her the moon, but her fathers and brothers do as well. I know it’s hard for you to trust right now, but in time your faith will be restored. Not all men are bastards. There are some really good men out there who’d die before ever hurting a woman.”

Tears filled Lauren’s eyes. “I just feel so stupid. And I’m angry with myself. I should have left him. I made excuses for him. I brushed off the warning signs. I just felt so damn alone and for a while he filled that emptiness inside me.”

“Oh, honey,” Holly said, pulling Lauren into her arms. She held her tightly and rocked back and forth. “It isn’t a crime to make a mistake. We all make them. Just because you gave your trust to the wrong man doesn’t mean you should punish yourself for the rest of your life.”

Lauren sighed and wiped hastily at her tears as she pulled away from Holly. “It sounds pretty stupid when you say it like that. What I mean is that I sound stupid and you make complete sense. I just wish it was that easy to believe, you know?”

Holly smiled and ran her hand over Lauren’s damp cheek. “The thing is, you don’t have to endure this alone. You’re surrounded by family, by people who love you. No one in this family thinks less of you. We’re worried about you. My boys want to go kick the little bastard’s ass, but we all just want you to be happy again. Venture out of your shell. We want you to feel safe here.”

This time Lauren hugged Holly and her slender body shook with sobs as she buried her face in Holly’s shoulder. For the longest time, Holly simply sat there and held her, rocking her back and forth as Lauren let go of the pent-up emotion.

“I miss my mom,” Lauren whispered.

“I know you do, baby. It’s times like these when a girl needs her mother the most. No matter how old you get, the need for your mother never goes away. I hope you’ll allow me to stand in for her.”

Lauren squeezed her fiercely. “I’d love that more than anything.”

Holly squeezed her back. “Not only do you have a stand-in mother, but you also have three fathers and three brothers in addition to Max, and you have two sisters too.”

Lauren lifted her head, her eyes wide in wonder. “I do, don’t I?”

Holly smiled. “You most certainly do.”

“Oh,” Lauren breathed. “Max and I are so very lucky. For so long it was just us three. Him, me, and Mama. And then just me and Max. I’ve always dreamed of having a big, loving, wonderful family that just surrounded me.”

“Well, I’d say you got your wish,” Holly said with an indulgent smile.

Lauren wiped at her face again and briefly looked down before returning her gaze to Holly. “Does the self-recrimination ever go away? I close my eyes at night and I’m just bombarded by humiliation. I cringe at the things I put up with. Don’t get me wrong, I’m furious with him. But I’m also angry with myself, and that’s harder to take.”

“You’re being too hard on yourself,” Holly said gently. “Give yourself time to heal. Distance always provides perspective. The guilt and self-blame will fade. You’ll be able to look back and know that the blame lies solely with him.”

“I hope you’re right,” Lauren murmured. “I hate wallowing in this cesspool of pity.”

“My advice? Get out more. Stop shutting yourself away from the world. Take long walks. It’s beautiful up here. Go to town. Buy something fun for yourself. Pamper yourself. Get a manicure. Whatever it takes to give yourself back the gift of confidence.”

Lauren smiled. “Thanks, Mrs. C. Really, just thank you. I needed this kick in the ass.”

“Oh, I don’t kick people in the ass,” Holly said. “That’s what my husbands are for. I just hug people to death and then mother them senseless.”

Impulsively, Lauren hugged her again. “I’m so glad I’m here. This family is the absolute best.”

Holly held her for a long moment and then eased back so she could rise from her chair. “I’d love for you to come up to the house for dinner. My children are in and out all the time. Our door is always open.”

“I’d like that,” Lauren said softly.

“And now I better run before the husbands send out a search party,” she said in amusement.

“They love you so much,” Lauren said wistfully.

Holly reached out to stroke her hair. “One day you’ll find someone who loves you just as much.”