Colters' Lady (Colters' Legacy #2)(62)

Lily checked the clock on Dillon’s desk, and her eyes widened. It was already past two. “Yeah, I could eat. I’ve been lost in my own little world here.”

“Come on then. We’ll tackle the oven together, and I promise not to burn Dillon’s kitchen down.”

Lily laughed and followed Holly out of the office and into the kitchen.

“Sit, sit,” Holly urged. “I want to be able to say I was able to prepare my daughter-in-law at least one meal. It’ll give me bragging rights the next time my husbands make a smartass crack about my cooking.”

The casual way she said daughter-in-law jolted Lily. She froze in the process of getting onto the barstool and stared at the other woman, but Holly continued on as if what she’d said was the most natural thing in the world.

Holly turned at that moment and a frown creased her brow. “What’s wrong?”

Lily eased onto the barstool and looked down at her hands for a moment.

Holly turned the oven on and stuck the casserole dish inside and then walked over to stand across the bar from Lily.

“Lily, what is it?”

“You said daughter-in-law,” she croaked.

Holly’s face softened and then she smiled gently as she leaned on the countertop.

“I know I’m getting way ahead of myself, but I know my boys. I know their fathers. When they love, they love passionately. With their whole heart. Up to now, no one has captured that heart. Until you.”

Lily swallowed as her chest tightened and emotion crowded in so full and heavy. She didn’t even know what to say.

Holly reached across the bar and laid her hands over Lily’s. “I’m going to ask you something that’s none of my business, and feel free to say so. I know how my boys feel about you. But how do you feel about them?”

Lily glanced up to see worry and concern in Holly’s eyes. But also understanding. It was that understanding that prompted Lily to be completely honest even as the idea of saying aloud all that was in her heart terrified her.

“I love them,” she whispered. “Is that stupid? I mean, three men?”

“No, honey,” Holly said gently. “It’s not stupid, but then look who you’re talking to.”

Lily laughed as she realized just how dumb of a question it truly had been.

“Oh God, Holly. I’m so terrified. I feel like I’m on the edge of a cliff with one foot in the air about to tip right over the edge.”

Holly walked around the bar and slid onto the barstool next to Lily. She wrapped her arm around Lily’s shoulders and squeezed.

“I might be the only woman in the world who knows exactly how you’re feeling.”

“My heart tells me I love them, but my mind asks how it’s possible to love three very different people at the same time.”

“The heart has an endless capacity for love,” Holly said. “As a woman you love your family, your children—especially your children—your friends, and you love your husband or lover. Who’s to say you can’t love three men with all your heart and soul? I mean, really, who makes the rules?”

“Seth told me he loved me,” Lily blurted.

Holly smiled. “I’m not surprised that he’d be the first. He might be the oldest, but he’s so unlike my Adam in that regard. Adam…he’s hard sometimes, and he doesn’t easily share what’s in his heart. Seth is more open and honest. Dillon?” She sighed as she mentioned her youngest. “That boy is completely unpredictable. And Michael is so intense and focused. He tends to be more analytical.”

Lily nodded. “I still feel like I’m getting to know all of them and their personalities. That’s why I ask myself how I can know I love them.”

“I’m going to tell you something right now. If you wait to completely know someone, you’ll wait forever. Sometimes you have to lead with your heart. Even after so many years, my husbands still do things that surprise me. I didn’t know them any longer than you’ve known my boys, but I took a chance. I took the leap and I’ve never regretted it. Not once. Life is about taking chances. Sometimes they bite you on the ass, but sometimes you find pure perfection.”

“This is going to sound stupid,” Lily said in a low voice.

Holly chuckled. “I think we’ve already established that nothing about how you feel or react to this situation is stupid. Normal, yes. Stupid, no.”

“I didn’t tell him I loved him.”

Holly paused, waiting for Lily to continue. When Lily remained silent, Holly rubbed her hand up and down Lily’s arm.

“Did you not say it back because you were unsure?”

“This is where the stupid part comes in,” Lily muttered. “I didn’t tell him for two reasons. Well, maybe three. One, I didn’t want him to think I was just saying it because he said it. Two, I was so surprised. I wasn’t expecting the words and I was overwhelmed. And three…I felt guilty.”

“Guilty?”

“I didn’t want to tell him first. I mean before telling Dillon and Michael. I didn’t want them to feel like my feelings were stronger for Seth. It all sounds so ridiculous but I love them all or at least I feel about them in a way I’ve never felt about anyone else. And it’s different but the same. I don’t have a favorite. Will they believe that? That I love them differently but the same?” She shook her head. “Did any of that even make sense?”