Cole's Redemption (Alpha Pack #5)(48)

“And joining them saved your life—literally?”

“Yes.” He looked deeply into her eyes. “Selene, you haven’t lived long enough to know what it’s like to spend almost two centuries in the agonizing grip of loneliness, hoping to find your true mate, then to find him and have him taken away. I pray you never do. I’ve survived in hell ever since, struggling to find meaning in my existence.”

“Have you?”

“I’ve tried. But there comes a time when the loneliness becomes too much to bear,” he said softly. “When the guilt of one’s mistakes just won’t be assuaged, when the past just won’t die. When the body is too tired to house a dead soul. This is why humans are fortunate to be mortal, because forever is just too long.”

His words scared her terribly. Was he ready to cross over? She didn’t want to lose him, especially before they got things settled between them.

He was silent for a time, and she gave in to the temptation to press him. “What was your role in my mother’s death? Did you kill her?”

“Now isn’t the time,” he said gently.

“You’re just trying to get out of answering me!”

“No. I promise you I’m not. I mean it when I say you’re not ready to hear the truth yet. I’ll know when you are.”

“Do you miss her?”

“Every day of my life,” he croaked. “Just as I’ve missed you. When I lost you, I didn’t want to live.”

Her gaze snapped to his. “You didn’t lose me like a set of car keys. You left me.”

“No, I—look, this isn’t the time to discuss—”

Just then the middle-aged head nurse finally came through the doors, her grim expression doing nothing to calm Selene’s fears.

“You can see him now,” she said.

Selene wasn’t prepared for the sight of her mate lying in the bed, so pale and vulnerable. He was normally so full of life. Kind and funny and sweet. His expressive brown eyes were closed, lashes resting against his cheeks. There were tubes and wires all over his body. An IV in his hand.

Taking a chair next to his bed, she sat and held the hand without the IV. For a time, she watched the slow drip, drip, drip of clear medication through the line until that made her a little stir-crazy, and she went back to watching him instead.

Come on, baby. You can beat this. I know you can. The doctor says the mate bond will help you get well, and I believe that. Please, do this for me.

There was no answer.

At some point she grew weary and slept. A nurse came in later and set out a cot for her, and she gratefully stretched out beside him. Before she fell back asleep, she mentally tested their mate bond, finding it strong. It had taken some blows, but it was intact. She imagined Zan at the other end of the thread stretched between them, like he was a fish she had to reel in. Slowly, she tugged at him in her mind.

She could be wrong, but it felt like he was moving closer. Tying off her end of the thread, she at last gave in to the sandman.

Zan surfaced by gradual degrees.

At first he couldn’t place where he was at all. Sometimes he thought he heard Melina and Noah talking, but other times he heard an unfamiliar male voice. He seemed to be a doctor, and someone called him Victor . . . something. He couldn’t grasp it at the moment and didn’t care.

He drifted for a while. Tried to figure out what had happened to land him here. Wherever here was. Cracking his lids to a tiny slit, he saw stone walls. Like natural cave stone, not man-made. What the hell?

Then he turned his head, and all was suddenly okay with his world, no matter where they were. Selene was sitting in a chair beside him, fast asleep. He drank in the sight of her pale blond hair framing her face, her tall body slumped with her legs sticking out in front of her. She probably would want him to wake her, but he was tempted to let her sleep.

“Selene?” His voice sounded like he’d been gargling glass, with whiskey chasers. Baby, he sent mentally.

That seemed to do the trick. Yawning, she sat up and looked at him—then her electric-blue eyes widened. “Zan! You’re awake!”

“Hey, baby,” he whispered. “Where are we?”

Leaning forward, she touched his arm. “We’re in the prince’s stronghold. Your entourage was attacked on the way here.”

“How are you here? Why?”

“You were really bad off.” She swallowed hard, as though remembering. “They thought you might die. They sent some of the prince’s men after me, Melina, Noah, as well as Mac and Kalen. We’re all staying on as the prince’s guests until this rogue situation is resolved. The Pack is working with his men.”

“I knew we’d work with them, but we’re living here? I wasn’t expecting that.”

“That last attack changed everyone’s perspective. They’re targeting Nick and Tarron, and now you all have to find out why.” Leaning over, she kissed his lips gently. “Enough about that right now. How are you feeling?”

He thought about that. “Head aches some. Tired.”

“My poor mate. I don’t want you to think about anything but getting well, all right?”

His eyes got heavy, and he slid back into sleep.

When he awoke again, he was feeling better. The ache in his head wasn’t as bad, and he wasn’t as tired. But where was his mate? Selene?