Christmas on 4th Street (Fool's Gold #12.5)(58)

She put down the kitten and took his hands in hers. “I know about ghosts and lost opportunities and believe me, I know there are no guarantees. I’m sorry the lesson you learned from what you’ve been through is it’s not worth taking the chance, because I believe it’s all about taking the chance. We are the sum of our experiences and those experiences need to come from a place of wonder and curiosity.”

She smiled at him. “I don’t know if you’re going to stay in the army or not, but I do know you’re leaving Fool’s Gold. I know this isn’t permanent and I still want to be with you. I want us to be friends and I want us to be lovers. And just so we’re clear, if you don’t want to sleep with me after hearing all this, you’re not nearly as bright as you look.”

There was too much for him to take in, he thought. He’d been wrong about her in nearly every way possible. He hadn’t come close to guessing that she’d been sick. He’d missed all the clues. Worse, he’d misread their time together because he’d made it all about himself.

“I’m such a jackass,” he said, coming to his feet and pulling her into a standing position.

“Good answer.”

Sharp claws dug into his leg. He looked down and saw the kitten trying to climb his jeans. He grabbed the cat by the scruff of her neck and gently pulled her away, then set her on the ground. Then he took Noelle by the hand and led her into the bedroom.

Once the door was closed, he cupped her cheeks and studied her face. “You’re so beautiful,” he told her right before he kissed her.

Her mouth was soft and yielding, but as he stroked his tongue against her lower lip, he felt her respond with growing passion. The need was in him—it had never really gone away. Now it moved through his blood, heating, stirring, making it difficult to think beyond how he could touch her and be in her.

She was a gift he didn’t deserve, he thought as he moved his hands across her back and then down her side to her hips. He took the return journey more slowly, savoring the feel of her body before cupping her curves in his hands.

She moaned softly. Her head fell back and he trailed his mouth down her neck.

“Tell me you bought condoms,” he whispered against her skin.

She laughed and reached for the hem of her sweater. “Of course.” Her eyes sparkled with amusement. “Extra large.”

“That’s my girl.”

* * *

Sometime after midnight Noelle pulled on her robe and headed for the kitchen. They were too late for take-out so she was going to have to find them something to eat from what was in her refrigerator. Too bad she hadn’t brought back a few casseroles from their time at the cabin. All that food had been delicious.

She found a frozen pizza in her freezer and figured they could make do. As she turned on the oven, one of the mother cats strolled into the kitchen and meowed at her. The feline gaze was both inquisitive and knowing.

“Yes, we were doing it,” Noelle admitted to her houseguest.

The mother cat meowed again.

“I’m aware of the consequences. I won’t get pregnant.”

The cat’s gaze turned knowing, as if she were pointing out there were other kinds of consequences.

“You meant falling in love?” Noelle asked, her tone light. Because she already knew the answer. She loved Gabriel. She wasn’t sure when or where, but it had happened. It was a monumentally stupid thing to have done and yet she wouldn’t take it back, even if she could.

* * *

“What do you think?” Gabriel asked, turning the laptop so Noelle could see the screen.

She squinted at the image. “It’s a book.”

“It’s a set of books,” he corrected.

“Because that makes it better?” she asked with a laugh.

They were sprawled on her sofa, spending a quiet Sunday afternoon together. Since spending the night with her, Gabriel hadn’t left. Technically, he hadn’t moved in, but in the past couple of days, he’d started bringing over clothes and toiletries.

Noelle wasn’t sure what had caused the change of heart. She knew it was something about her illness but didn’t know if he now thought she could understand his world better or if he thought she was tough or what. She also wasn’t about to ask. If her goal was to live life to the fullest, then she needed to enjoy her time with Gabriel while it lasted and then accept that he would be leaving. When that happened, she would be hurt and have to recover.

Being with him, loving him, had made her realize that some part of her had been afraid to give in to a man again. She’d been so devastated when Jeremy had walked out on her. Intellectually, she’d known that finding out he wasn’t interested in the “in sickness” part of marriage before taking vows was a good thing, she’d also felt completely alone in the world. For all of her talk of wanting a man around, she’d been afraid to take that risk again.

But now she had. She’d given her heart to Gabriel, which meant she could give it to someone else eventually. The last piece of her had healed and that felt good.

He turned the computer so he could study the screen. “You’re saying Carter won’t like books for a present? I thought he enjoyed reading.”

“He does. But ebooks. I know this century has been hard for you,” she teased. “But there are now books you can download to your—”