Christmas on 4th Street (Fool's Gold #12.5)(51)
“I challenge you to a test of wills,” he said. “Who can last the longest?”
She sighed as he reached for the condoms. “At last, a game I’m going to enjoy losing.”
* * *
The doors to the triage center opened again. They had a distinctive squeak, so Gabriel knew a second before it happened that yet another wounded soldier was being wheeled in. There was blood everywhere, and cries of pain.
He pointed to where the soldier should go and tried to get out of the way, but he couldn’t. There were too many wounded and he was unable to make room. The doors opened again and he could see the line of gurneys stretched on forever. There were hundreds who needed him. Thousands. And he could never be enough.
He came awake with a start. In the darkness, he had no idea where he was or what was happening. Then the scent of the fire drifted to him and he heard the soft rumble of one of the cats purring. Memories returned and he was able to place himself in the cabin.
Noelle slept next to him. He put his arm around her and drew her against him. She was as warm and yielding in sleep as she had been awake. He hung on to her and steadied his breathing.
He didn’t need to study psychology to understand what the dream meant. He was exhausted from his work. Drained down to his soul. It would take months to heal—maybe years. But he only had until the first of January before he had to decide and he honest to God didn’t know what to do.
The decision should be about staying in the army and nothing else. But somehow Noelle had woven her way into his life—into how he thought and what he wanted to do. He’d never meant to get involved. Never meant to care. Because there was no point. They could both be dead tomorrow.
Only in her arms, right now, it didn’t feel like that. It felt like there could be possibilities. And he understood that concept scared him more than any mortar shell ever could.
Chapter 11
Noelle felt Gabriel get out of bed. She was sure it was early in the morning, but she couldn’t see the clock. She sat up and turned on the small lamp by the bed. Gabriel pulled on his jeans before facing her.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, taking in his drawn features. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Go back to sleep.”
“It’s not exactly something you can order me to do.” She got up and looked around for her clothes. She’d been down to her underwear the first time they’d gone to bed, and had only been wearing her T-shirt the second.
She couldn’t see any clothes anywhere and started to lean over and to move the covers when Gabriel swore. She turned and saw him holding out his shirt.
“Put this on. Please.”
He sounded both furious and pleading. She shrugged into the shirt and fastened the buttons. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing. We have to get out of here.”
“Yes, that’s the plan. When the plow comes, we’ll drive back to town.”
He ran his hands through his hair. “That’s not good enough. We need to go now.”
She shifted so she could see the clock. “It’s five in the morning. The plows won’t have been here. Are you going to dig us out all the way to the road?”
“If I have to.”
She spotted her panties and her bra and scooped them up. She wasn’t sure what had happened in the past half dozen hours, but whatever it was, it was bad. Last night Gabriel had been a warm, attentive lover. This morning he was acting as if she’d done something wrong. Or as if she wanted something unreasonable from him.
She knew neither was true and refused to let herself go there. Something was bugging Gabriel. For all she knew, it had nothing to do with her. Or maybe their great two days together had rattled him to the point where he couldn’t cope. On the surface, he was a smart, charming guy. But underneath, he was as wounded as the soldiers he treated. Either way, she wasn’t taking the blame for something she didn’t do.
She retreated to the bathroom and dressed quickly. When she stepped back into the main room, he was gone. She told herself that if he wanted to shovel them back to town, she wished him luck.
She spent the next hour taking care of the little cabin. She fed the cats, then let them out. She washed dishes, made coffee and generally straightened up. She’d already made a list of the supplies they’d used so she could replace them later. She would talk to Mayor Marsha about how to do that. No one wanted her driving back to the cabin while there was snow on the ground.
When all that was done, she settled on the floor and played with the older kittens. They were alert and curious. As they hadn’t been around people before, they’d started out a little wary of her, but a rousing game of string had them crawling all over her and settling into her lap for a quick snooze.
Sometime after seven, Gabriel returned. He was chilled and breathing hard.
“The truck is clear,” he told her as he pulled off his cap and shrugged out of his coat. “The plow will be here in the next couple of hours. They’re already working on Mother Bear Road.”
She watched him as he spoke, hoping to see a smile or some sign that whatever was bothering him had worked itself out. But he barely looked at her as he shrugged out of his layers.
“There’s coffee,” she told him, pointing to the pot. “I’ve cleaned up and stripped the bed.” She was planning on taking the sheets with her so she could wash them.