Chosen at Nightfall (Shadow Falls #5)(26)

That knot in her throat tightened. Her eyes stung right along with her heart. She shook her head, and managed one word. "No." She wasn't even sure what she was saying no to. Then she turned and faced him.

It didn't matter what she said, because he wasn't listening to her. He stood there staring at her in his own world of hurt and pain.

"You love me," he said. "I know that."

Now was when she should be saying no, but she couldn't get the word out. Oh, it sat on the tip of her tongue, but it felt super-glued in place. Sure it would have been a lie, but wasn't it okay to lie at times like this? When the truth was just too painful. When the truth felt like it could tear you apart.

"I also know you're punishing me. And it's working, because I'm hurting like hell. Not that I don't deserve it." He reached up and ran his hand over the back of his neck.

Kylie blinked away a wash of tears. Even in the darkness she could see the bruises around his neck.

Bruises she'd put on him. She gripped her hands at the memory of just how close she'd come to crushing his windpipe.

"I didn't mean to choke you," she spit out. "It was a trick on ... Mario's part. I don't know how he did it but-"

"I know that. I don't mean ... punishing me with this." He ran his hand over the bruises. "This isn't anything compared to what I feel inside. I'm talking about you not wanting to talk to me, not wanting me close to you. You have no idea how much it hurts to stand right here, this close ... Can you even imagine how hard it is to stand here and know you don't want me to touch you?" He moved in a step as if testing her.

While it was only a few inches, his scent came with him. She remembered inhaling his particular smellwhen she walked in. She should have known. Should have known that part of the scent of home that had welcomed her, was his essence. He was home to her. Or he had been.

Now she felt homeless.

He must have gathered a bit more courage because he took another step closer.

She inched back. And that little inch said so much.

"See," he said, and his intake of air sounded painful. "But I know you still care because ... because you saved my life. You could have stepped out of the way and just let Mario kill me. You didn't. You caught the fireballs that were meant for me."

His emotion echoed in the room, and she'd give anything if she didn't have to feel this. How much more emotion could she take in? Wasn't there a limit? Surely she'd reached hers.

"Yeah, I saved your life, but don't make me regret it." She waved toward the door. "Leave. I don't want you here." And it was the truth. She didn't want Lucas, the guy who'd betrayed her, here. She wanted the guy she'd trusted, the guy she'd thought would go to the end of the world to protect her. And yet they were one and the same.

He took one more step. She saw his Adam's apple go up and down. It looked painful to swallow.

"I hurt you," he said. "I know that, and I'm willing to take whatever it is you want to dish out at me. I deserve it. That's what I came here to say. That I accept what I did was wrong. But I didn't do other things that you might think I did. And when you're over being mad, I'll still be here. I don't care how long it takes."

She glanced away, remembering him standing up in front of his family and friends. He'd worn a fancy tux and looked so handsome, so much like a man and not a boy. The image of him reaching for Monique's hands played across her mind and she heard the promises he made. The kind of promises you didn't break.

A wave a fresh pain washed over her. She looked at him again. "You gave her your soul."

He shook his head. "No, you're wrong. I didn't give her my soul. I lied. I couldn't have given her my soul. Because my soul was already given away. You took it when I was seven years old." His voice shook. "And if I had any of it left, you took the rest of it when you walked into Shadow Falls that first day.

In the were culture, it's believed that there is only one soul mate. And you are mine, Kylie Galen. I knew that then, and it hasn't changed."

Her vision blurred with tears. She inhaled, hoping to get her watery weakness under control. But she felt a tear slip from her lashes onto her cheek.

She swiped it away. Her breath shuddered as she drew needed oxygen into her lungs. Why did it hurt to breathe?

You are mine, Kylie Galen. His words echoed in her heart. She couldn't deny that part of her wanted to go to him, to make him say that over and over again until the pain bubbling in her chest went away. Until she could look at him without remembering how it had felt to see him making promises to someone else.

But she couldn't go to him, because she knew the pain wasn't going to go away.

Not now.

Maybe not ever.

She couldn't be sure.

He paused and she saw the same pain she felt in her chest reflected in his eyes. Her own pain doubledknowing she hurt him. But wasn't that his fault? Why should she feel guilty that he was hurting now?

"I'm sorry that I caused you this hurt," he said. "And as mad as you are at me right now, you need to realize that I'm madder at myself. I did this to you. To us. I hurt the most important person in my life. If someone else had hurt you this badly I'd rip their heart out."

He stood there and just stared. The silence in the room seemed too loud. Or was it the pain echoing in the room that pierced her ears?