Chosen (House of Night #3)(60)

"Or we die," I said through numb lips.

"Or we die," she agreed. Then she looked at me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Fine," I said automatically.

"Hey, Z! Was that cool or what?" Jack said.

"Man, it was incredible. I'm still reeling!" Damien fanned himself and his large vocabulary.

"Oh, baby! Now Erik Night joins the other vamp hotties like Brandon Routh, Josh Hartnett, and Jake Gyllenhaal."

"And Loren Blake, Twin. Do not leave his hottiness out," Erin said.

"Wouldn't think of it, Twin," Shaunee said.

"It is totally cool that Z's boyfriend is a vamp. I mean a real one," Jack said. Damien took a breath to say something and then shut his mouth and looked uncomfortable.

"What?" I said.

"Well, it's just that... uh ... well..." He hesitated.

"God, what it is? Just spit it out!" I snapped.

He flinched at my tone, making me feel like a jerk, but answered me. "Well, I don't know much about it, but once a fledgling goes through the Change he leaves the House of Night and starts his life as a full-grown vampyre."

"Zoey's boyfriend is gonna leave?" Jack said.

"Long-distance relationship, Z," Erin said quickly.

"Yeah, you two will work it out. Easy-peasy," Shaunee said. I looked from the Twins to Damien and Jack, and finally at Aphrodite.

"Sucks," she said. "At least for you." Aphrodite raised her brows and shrugged. "Makes me glad he dumped me." Then she tossed back her hair and headed toward the food that was set out in the other room.

"If we can't call her a hag from hell, can we call her a bitch?" Shaunee asked.

"Hateful bitch would be my choice, Twin," Erin said.

"Well, she's wrong," Damien said stubbornly. "Erik's still your boyfriend, even if he's off doing vamp stuff." They were all staring at me, so I tried to smile at them. "Yeah, I know. It's okay. It's just-just a lot to take in, that's all. Let's get something to eat." Before they could do any more comforting, I strode off toward the food with them trailing after me like baby ducks.

It seemed like it took forever for the Dark Daughters and Sons to eat and then clear out, but when I looked at the clock I realized that they had actually eaten quickly and were leaving early. There had been a lot of excited talk about Erik, and I'd nodded and made noises in semi-appropriate response, trying to hide how numb and wrong I felt. I suppose everyone taking off early was proof of what a crappy job I did of it. Finally I realized the only kids left were Jack and Damien and the Twins. They were quietly throwing away the leftovers and bagging up the trash.

"Uh, guys, I'll get that," I said.

"We're just about done, Z," Damien said. "Really all that's left is to put away the stuff on Nyx's table in the middle of the circle."

"I'll do that," I said, trying (unsuccessfully by the looks on their faces) to be nonchalant.

"Z, is everything-"

I held up my hand to cut off Damien. "I'm tired. I'm kinda freaked about Erik. And, honestly, I need some alone time." I hadn't wanted to sound so totally bitchy, but I was getting beyond the point where I could keep the happy look plastered on my face and continue pretending that I wasn't shaking all over inside. And I absolutely would rather have my friends think I was PMS-ing than that I was ready to totally fall apart. High Priestesses in training didn't fall apart. They handled things. I really really really didn't want them to know that I was so not handling things. "Guys, could you just give me awhile. Please?"

"No problem," the Twins said together. "Later, Z."

"All right. I'll, uh, see you later, too," Damien said.

"Bye, Z," Jack said.

I waited till the door closed behind them before I walked slowly into the side room that was used as a dance studio and yoga room. It had a bunch of soft mats stacked in the corner and I sank down on them. My hands were shaking when I pulled my cell phone out of the pocket of my dress. Are U ok?

I keyed in the short text message and then sent it to the disposable cell phone I'd bought Stevie Rae. If felt like an eternity before she answered.

Im ok

Hang on I replied.

Hurry she texted back.

Will do

I closed my phone, leaned against the wall, and, feeling like the entire world was pressing down on my shoulders, I burst into sobbing, snotty tears.

I cried and shook and shook and cried while I hugged my legs hard to my chest and rocked back and forth. I knew what was wrong with me. It surprised me that no one else, not one of my friends, had figured it out. I'd thought Erik was dying, and it had brought back the night Stevie Rae had died in my arms. It was as if it was happening all over again-the blood, the sadness, the horror. It had completely blindsided me. I mean, I'd thought I was over what had happened to Stevie Rae. After all, she wasn't really dead. I'd just been fooling myself.

I'd been bawling so hard that I didn't know he was there until he touched my shoulder. I looked up, wiping tears from my eyes, trying to think of something reassuring to say to whatever friend had come back for me.

"I could feel that you needed me," Loren said.

With a sob I hurled myself into his arms. He sat beside me, pulling me onto his lap. Holding me tight, he murmured sweet words, telling me that everything would be okay now and that he'd never let me go. When I finally got myself under control and hiccupped instead of sobbed, Loren handed me one of his old-time linen hankies.