Chosen (House of Night #3)(20)

"I think that assumption is just good common sense and justifiable self-confidence." His smile warmed till I swear I could feel the heat of it against my skin. "I always have been drawn to confident women." God, he made my toes squidge.

"You don't have any idea how special you are, do you, Zoey? You're unique. Not like the rest of the fledglings. You're a goddess among those who think themselves demigods." When his hand caressed the side of my face, lingering on the tattoos that framed my eyes, I thought I'd melt into the bookshelves. "I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright. Who art as black as hell, as dark as night."

"What's that from?" His touch had made my body all tingly and my head woozy, but I did manage to recognize the deep cadence his amazing voice took on when he was reciting poetry.

"Shakespeare," he murmured as his thumb brushed softly over the line of tattoos that decorated my cheekbone.

"It's from one of the sonnets he wrote to the Dark Lady, who was his true love. We know, of course, that he was a vampyre. But we believe the true love of his life was a young girl who had been Marked and who died as a fledgling without completing the Change."

"I thought adult vampyres weren't supposed to have relationships with fledglings." We were so close that I didn't have to speak much above a whisper for him to hear me.

"We're not supposed to. It's highly improper. But sometimes there's an attraction that happens between two people that transcends the vampyre-fledgling boundary, as well as age and propriety. Do you believe in that kind of attraction, Zoey?"

He was talking about us! We were staring into each other's eyes, and I felt lost in him. His tattoos were a bold pattern of intricate slashing lines that gave the impression of lightning bolts, and they went perfectly with his dark hair and eyes. He was so insanely handsome and so much older that he made me feel at the same time incredibly attracted to him and scared to death that I was playing with something so far beyond what I'd ever experienced that it could easily spiral out of control. But the attraction was there-and if he was right, it definitely transcended the vampyre-fledgling boundary. So much so that Erik had even noticed how Loren looked at me.

Erik... Guilt washed through me. He would just die if he could see what was going on between Loren and me. A mean little thought snaked through my mind, Erik isn't here to see me, and I drew in a deep, shaky breath and heard myself say, "Yes. I believe in that kind of attraction. Do you?"

"I do now." His smile was sad. It made him look suddenly very young and handsome and so vulnerable that my guilty thoughts of Erik evaporated. I wanted to take Loren in my arms and tell him it would be all right. I was just getting up the nerve to move even closer to him when his next words surprised me so much that I forgot about his little-lost-boy smile. "I came back yesterday because I knew it was your birthday." I blinked in shock. "You did?"

He nodded, still caressing my cheek with his finger. "I had been looking for you when I ran into you and Erik." His eyes darkened and his voice went deep and harsh. "I didn't like seeing his hands all over you." I hesitated, not sure how to respond to that. I was embarrassed as hell that he'd seen Erik and me making out. Still, even though what we'd been doing had been embarrassing to be caught at, we hadn't really done anything wrong. Erik was, after all, my boyfriend, and what he and I did together wasn't really any of Loren's business. But staring into his eyes I realized that I might want it to be Loren's business. As if he could read my mind he took his hand from my face and looked away from me. "I know. I don't have any right to be angry at you for being with Erik. It's not even my business." Slowly, I touched his chin, turning his face back to me so that he could meet my eyes. "Do you want it to be your business?"

"More than I can tell you," he said. Then he dropped the book-he'd still been holding it-and framed my face in his hands, so that his thumbs rested close to my lips and his fingers splayed back into my hair. "I believe it's my turn for a birthday kiss."

He claimed my mouth and at the same time it felt like he claimed my body and soul. Okay, Erik was a good kisser. And I've been kissing Heath since I was in third grade and he was in fourth, so Heath's kisses were familiar and good. Loren was a man. When he kissed me there was none of the awkward hesitation I was used to. His lips and tongue said he knew exactly what he wanted and he also knew how to get it. And a weird, magical thing happed to me. I wasn't just some kid anymore when I kissed him back. I was a woman, mature and powerful, and I knew what I wanted and how to get it, too.

When the kiss ended both of us were breathing hard. Loren still held my face in his hands, but he'd moved away just far enough so that we could look into each other's eyes again.

"I shouldn't have done that," he said.

"I know," I said, but that didn't stop me from staring boldly at him. I was still clutching the stupid healing rituals and spells book with one hand, but my other hand was resting on his chest. Slowly I spread my fingers so that they slid within the open neck of his button-up shirt to touch his naked skin. He shivered and I felt that shiver somewhere deep inside me.

"This is going to be complicated," he said.

"I know," I repeated.

"But I don't want to stop."

"Neither do I," I said.