Chasing River (Burying Water #3)(78)

Her jaw drops.

And she listens quietly, while I recount everything that’s happened over the past seven days. Everything.

By the time I’m done, Alex is curled up in her desk chair, her legs pulled against her chest, her fingers weaving into the back of her hair in that worried way of hers. “Wow. That’s . . . You’ve been busy,” she finally murmurs. “Are you safe?”

“Yeah. I mean, I think so. River would never hurt me.” This older brother of his, on the other hand . . . But he doesn’t know me and I never saw him, so I can’t imagine I’m much of a threat.

“This doesn’t sound like a fling with a bartender.”

I shrug. “I’ve known him for all of a week. And he lives in Ireland. And he’s a convicted felon. It can’t be anything else.”

And yet my heart is telling me it’s everything else.

Alex smiles softly, her eyes drifting off somewhere into the past. “Sometimes it can be.”

“Not for me, Alex. I’m not that girl. I don’t fall for a guy I just met, and I don’t let my emotions make decisions for me that my head knows are bad. It’s just . . . it’s weak! I’m better than that.”

She twists her mouth, hesitating for a moment before saying, “I fell for your brother the very first night I met him. I had an affair with him. A guy whom I should have stayed away from, but I didn’t. I couldn’t stay away from him. Our connection was so instantaneous, so deep. And Jesse was working for my husband, who happened to be a serious criminal. A man I was terrified of angering.”

I stifle my gasp, because she’ll think I’m judging her. I knew about the affair, but I had no idea that Jesse had been working for her husband. Seriously, Jesse?

“So, does that make me a bad person?” she asks softly. “Does that make me weak?”

“You’re the strongest, kindest person I’ve ever met,” I whisper truthfully. “But your circumstances were unique. They don’t compare to this.”

“I don’t know, Amber . . . I’d say the circumstances surrounding you and this River guy sound pretty unique. And that other stuff is in his past.”

“Not entirely. His brother is IRA.”

“No one’s without fault if you’re judging them based on their connections. For God’s sake, Jesse’s best friend is a criminal!” Alex rarely raises her voice, so to hear it now is jarring. “You know that black car of Jesse’s out there? Parked in front of the barn every day?”

Jesse’s Barracuda. His child. I nod.

“It’s stolen.”

This time I do gasp. “What? He actually stole that car?” I remember joking about that once, but I never thought he’d actually stoop that low.

“No, he didn’t. But it’s not hard to figure out who did. Turning it in is more risky than it’s worth, though, so your father told him to keep it.”

My jaw hangs open for a long moment. “The Sheriff knows about that, too?”

“There isn’t anything that your dad doesn’t know, Amber. Jesse doesn’t keep secrets from him anymore. My point to all this is that nobody’s without fault, and some of that fault can get pretty ugly. But you shouldn’t hold it against someone if it’s in his past. Jesse made his mistakes, but he learned from them. It sounds like this River guy did, too, if what he has told you is the truth.”

It would seem like it. River talked nonstop last night, answering all of my questions, offering information without my pushing. And every time I stole a glance at his face, and his eyes, I saw only honesty there.

But none of that really matters, in the grand scheme of things. “What do I do, Alex? I need someone to tell me what to do.”

“What do you see your options being?”

There aren’t many. “I can either say goodbye to him today or say goodbye to him on Sunday. Either way, it’s goodbye.” He’ll never hop on a plane and surprise me at the ranch. He’ll never see what my world looks like.

“Would you consider turning him in to the police?”

“No,” I admit, laughing bitterly. “And yet all I can keep hearing is my dad telling me to do exactly that. Even if it might get me into trouble.”

“Yeah, that sounds like him,” she begins. “Then again, your dad may surprise you.”

“I doubt that. Not about this. You know him. It’s black-and-white when it comes to the law.”

“Not always, Amber. Your dad has gotten to know the gray area pretty well.” A decision flashes in her eyes. “I think it’s your turn to keep some secrets.”

TWENTY-FIVE

River

If I close my eyes to rest, I can’t say for sure that she won’t try to kill me.

At least, that’s the vibe that Ivy’s giving off from her little spot on the couch, her tiny all-in-black body coiled for an attack. Her dark, unforgiving eyes shifting back and forth between the TV, me, and Rowen, who’s made himself comfortable on the couch with the bottle of whiskey and an annoying leg twitch.

Tap . . . Tap . . . Tap . . .

“Stop that!” Ivy finally snaps.

Rowen stills his leg.

“Why don’t you get some sleep upstairs? I thought you were exhausted,” I suggest.