Chasing Perfect (Fool's Gold #1)(78)

“Maybe.” Pia turned toward her. “Can I get you something? I have an assortment of ice cream selections. I’m going through a dairy phase. There’s not a single cookie in the whole place, but I probably have five different kinds of ice cream.”

“No, thanks.” Charity touched her stomach. So far she hadn’t had any cravings or queasiness, but she didn’t want to push anything too far.

“What’s going on?” Pia asked. “Something happened and I’m guessing it was with Josh.”

Charity nodded. “I don’t know why I let myself believe this would be different. Of all the guys to fall for. What was I thinking?”

“You weren’t thinking. That’s the problem. We don’t think when it comes to men. Honestly, I don’t know why Marsha is so hell-bent on getting more of them in town. They’re nothing but trouble.”

She reached for Charity’s hand and squeezed it. “Start at the beginning and tell me the horrible thing he’s done. Then we’ll get drunk and call him names.”

“I can’t.”

Pia smiled. “Don’t worry. We’ll find your anger. It’s right under the hurt. Trust me—I have a world of experience at this. I’ll have you swearing in ways you never thought possible.”

Charity stared at her friend. “No, I mean I can’t have anything to drink. I’m pregnant.”

She had to give Pia credit. Nothing about her expression changed. Her only reaction was to calmly ask, “Are you sure?”

“I peed on a stick.”

“And there’s only been Josh?”

That made Charity smile. “Do I seem like someone who would sleep with more than one guy?”

“You have depths. It could happen.”

“It didn’t. I’m pregnant.” She said the words more for herself than Pia, to help herself get used to the idea.

“How do you feel about it?” Pia asked. “Have you always dreamed of having children?”

“Sure. Haven’t you?”

Pia shrugged. “Some days. But it’s a lot of responsibility, and parents can really screw up a kid. I’m not sure I want to take the risk of passing on the family tradition of emotional devastation. But we’re not talking about me. How do you feel?”

“I don’t know. Excited, scared.” She drew in a breath and mentally poked around inside. “Happy,” she said slowly, then realized it was true. “I’m happy.”

“Then yay you.” Pia squeezed her fingers again. “You’ll be a great mom.”

“How do you know?”

“You have the personality. You take care of things. You care. You have Marsha for a grandmother and she’s amazing.”

“This isn’t how I would have chosen to do things,” she admitted. “But I don’t have regrets.”

Pia released her hand, then wrinkled her nose. “At the risk of breaking your mood, I’m guessing Josh didn’t take it very well? You wouldn’t be here if he did.”

“He freaked,” Charity said with a sigh. “He mumbled something about figuring it out, swore he would be there for me and the baby, then raced out so fast he left those clichéd skid marks on the floor. There’s no way he’s going to be able to handle it.”

She hated to think that, let alone say it. “I didn’t realize I had a whole fantasy about Josh until it all came crashing down around me. I’d hoped he would be excited, or at least open to the idea.”

“At the risk of violating the girl code, you need to give him a break. You told him something huge. He should get a few minutes to absorb it all. He might surprise you.”

“Not in a good way.”

Pia shook her head. “Josh is a good guy. When things are tough, he comes through. Give him a little credit.”

“For running?”

“Okay, then give him a chance to step up and do the right thing. He said he’d be there for you.”

“What does that mean?” Charity found herself getting irritated. “Maybe he’ll do promo shots with the baby for someone who makes athletic gear for infants. That’s about all he’s interested in. He’s getting back into racing. What matters to him is being the man he was. He’s told me that. He wants to return to that world, claim it all again. This is about being famous. He wants to be the guy on the poster.”

Pia stared at her for a long time. “What do you want?” she asked softly.

“I want everything he doesn’t. A traditional life. Husband, kids. A house and a dog.” She glanced at the now sleeping Jake. “Maybe a cat. I want a certainty to my days. I want roots and neighbors and date night and the rhythm of the seasons. I want passion and loyalty.”

“Did you tell him that?”

“I didn’t have a chance. I barely managed to say I was pregnant and he was gone.”

“He’ll be back.”

“It won’t change anything.” Charity leaned toward her friend. “You’ve known Josh for years. Has he ever once struck you as the domestic type?”

“He has his moments.”

“The man lives in a hotel. You know that racing is everything to him. No. Not the racing. He doesn’t want to compete, he wants to win. He wants to be a god again. There’s no room for ordinary where he’s going.”