Chasing Perfect (Fool's Gold #1)(21)

“Sure you do. You’re one of the smartest people I know.”

She set down the menu. “And let me say how much I appreciate you saying people and not women.”

“You’re welcome, but not the point. You knew Robert and Charity were coming here for dinner.”

“Did I?” Marsha managed to look both innocent and smug at the same time. “Are they here? I didn’t notice.”

Josh knew better. “You asked for this table. You wanted me facing her.”

Marsha smoothed her white hair. “I am a very busy woman, Josh. I don’t have time to worry about your latest conquest, however interesting she might be.”

“Don’t play matchmaker.”

“Afraid it might work?”

The real problem was he didn’t want to hurt his friend. Marsha had been good to him and he owed her. “Setting up people never goes well. Don’t you watch reality television?”

“No,” she said. “And neither do you. Why don’t you like Charity?”

He studied the woman in question. Despite the fact that she was on a date, she was still dressed like a conservative schoolteacher. A plain dress, buttoned all the way to the collar. The loose fit and boxy jacket revealed nothing. Did she lack confidence or feel she had something to hide?

He found himself wanting to know which, nearly as much as he wanted to slowly unfasten each and every button and reveal the smooth, warm skin underneath. Just as troubling, he found himself wanting to talk to her. Just talk.

Not gonna happen, he reminded himself. At least sex was safe. But getting involved? No way.

“I like her fine,” he said.

“But?”

“She’s not my type.”

“You don’t have a type. That would require being picky.”

He raised his eyebrows.

Marsha sighed. “I didn’t mean that the way it came out. It’s just you haven’t gotten serious about anyone since Angelique. The divorce was over two years ago. It’s time to move on.”

His lack of dating or interest in dating had nothing to do with Angelique, but he wasn’t going to tell Marsha that.

“I appreciate your concern, but I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. You’re lonely. And don’t pretend otherwise. I’m old and you have to respect me.”

“Even when you’re wrong?”

She stared at him, her blue eyes unyielding. “Then tell me I’m wrong. Lie to me, if you can.”

He couldn’t and she knew it. “Charity’s looking for something I can’t give her.”

“Such as?”

He shrugged. “She’s not the one.”

“You can’t know that until you’ve spent some time with her.”

“Can you be bought off?”

“How much are you offering?” She shook her head. “I’ll stop pushing. At least for now. You know I care about you, right?”

“I do.” He reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “You’ve always supported me.”

“I just want you to be happy. Men don’t do well alone. You need someone in your life. I think Charity needs someone, too. She hasn’t said anything, but if I had to guess, I would say she’s coming off a bad breakup. So she would understand.”

“About the divorce?”

Marsha nodded.

What his friend didn’t get was that the problem wasn’t his divorce. That was just a symptom of everything that had gone wrong.

The truth was, he’d enjoyed a lot about the theory of being married. He was basically a homebody. Angelique had wanted to go out more nights than not, but his best times with her had been spent with just the two of them. He wanted that again—a connection, the familiarity of knowing everything about someone. He’d always thought he would be just like everyone else, with a wife and a couple of kids.

But until he fixed what was wrong inside of him, until he was whole again, he couldn’t be with anyone. He wasn’t asking to rule the world, just be the man he’d been before.

“I’ll be quiet now,” Marsha told him.

“If only that were true.”

She laughed.

Josh felt his gaze slipping over Marsha’s shoulder, where he could see Charity speaking intently with Robert.

They looked like they belonged together, like they could be a couple. Charity would be better off with someone like Robert. A regular guy without a lot of baggage. Without the ghosts that kept him always searching for an answer he could never find.

THE REST OF CHARITY’S week flew by in a blur of meetings and planning. She’d managed to set up an initial conversation with a large hospital that was thinking of expanding. She was determined to convince them that Fool’s Gold was the best possible location for them.

By late Friday she was tired and oddly restless. She tried to watch television and when that didn’t work, she went downstairs where the hotel kept a small library of DVDs. None of them appealed. On a whim, Charity went back to her room, grabbed a green hoodie and headed outside.

It was a little after nine, dark and cool, but warmer than it had been. Spring had finally arrived, chasing away the last of the below-freezing temperatures. Streetlights flooded the sidewalks and made her feel safe, as did the women she saw who were out and about. There weren’t a lot but she knew several of them by sight, if not by name.