Chasing Impossible (Pushing the Limits #5)(92)

But like always, I don’t have the luxury of time to reminisce. I have a job to do and, as always, I intend to do it.

* * *

Taking a risk, I return to the park at the same time and sure enough, he’s there, the narc, and he appears just as giddy to see me today as he was yesterday. His eyes flicker to the two little girls currently shrieking as they go down the slide with their arms wrapped around each other. He fingers that wedding ring that was absent the night we first met.

At school, a lot of people called me names, said I was evil, labeled me a slut and even a killer. None of it’s true. All of it lies.

I’m not really one thing or another. I’m me. I’m Abby. I’m right and wrong, moral and immoral, good and bad, a hero and a villain, and I’ve been just as capable of truth as I have been lies.

I used to not believe in choices. Thought there was only survival, but I was wrong. I do have a choice and I choose to be me.

To make him comfortable, as comfortable as an out-of-the-closet narc can be with a drug dealer, I sit at the other end of the bench. “Hello. Nice kids and don’t worry, I don’t mess with innocents. I only bite adults and that’s only when provoked.”

The death stare he sends me tells me he’s three seconds away from pulling whatever concealed weapon he’s carrying. “I knew you were the one. The moment you walked away after the Bible verse, I knew I had f*cked up. And then you were shot later that night. My captain thought it was coincidence, but he didn’t see the way you smiled.”

I half laugh. “Scared you, didn’t it?”

“You’re too young to be terrifying.”

Yet I am. “Don’t lose sleep over not figuring me out immediately, most people underestimate me. So here’s the thing, I need you to arrest me.”

He actually twitches and I smile. That nice deadly one he just referenced.

“Not now. Later tonight. At a bar maybe. I have some lose ends I’ll need to tie up first. And it can’t be you. They know you’re a narc. We’ll have to make it all seem legit. Have it happen at a place where people would believe I am selling. And in case you’re wondering I’m not carrying now.”

The narc looks away from me as he leans forward to rest his arms on his knees. He watches his daughters intently and for that I respect him.

“I have to say, this is a first. The dealer asking to be caught. Forgive me if I don’t trust you.”

“Fair enough.” I slouch and kick my legs out. “I’m seventeen and if I don’t get out now, I’m screwed.”

“Then quit. You don’t need me to do that.”

“Seriously? A narc that doesn’t want an arrest?”

“I’m smelling setup.”

I roll my eyes. Who would have thought this would have been so complicated? I’m going to have to sell him on this and sell him big. “I’m Mozart’s daughter.”

Snapped head in my direction.

“See why I can’t just walk away now?”

I can see the thoughts turning in his brain like a hamster in a wheel. “If I arrest you, you’ll go to jail.”

“Juvie,” I correct. “I’m not stupid enough to carry enough to cause real problems for me, just enough to cause the problems I need. But I have some requests that are really demands. I can’t be given bail. I’ve got to stay in and then go straight to juvie.”

“You know how much to carry to get arrested, but not to cause you problems?”

“Arrests and possible punishment—occupational hazards. Always felt it was best to be informed. Like the more you know?”

He does that slow blink that most sane people always do with me. Pity I’m chatting with him so I can be arrested. Otherwise, I’d find this conversation a lot more amusing.

“If you’re serious, there are people who would love to talk with you. Give you protection in return for a sliver of the knowledge in your head.”

“No. I want out. I’ve got enough problems without skipping down the snitch road.”

“I promise protection. Just—”

“I’m seventeen,” I repeat and drop the cold, numb mask I mastered and permit him into the desperation ripping through me. “Pretend I’m one of your daughters out there racing up and down the slide. I’m asking for a way out. For a chance to live a normal life. Just for a few seconds, pretend I’m one of them.”

He’s wavering and he’s fighting to keep his emotions in check and explore the opportunity for his job.

“Please don’t use me. If you got into this to serve and protect, then protect me.”

“Daddy!” One of his little girls calls from the top of the playground. “I want to fly. Come catch me.”

I used to fly and my daddy used to catch me. Right now, I need this guy to catch me, too.

He looks at me, I look at him, he opens his mouth and he answers.

Logan

Abby opens the front door and immediately grabs the bag from my hands. “You got queso, right?”

“And tacos.”

“Wait right here. We need plates.” Abby called this afternoon and demanded dinner. Four tacos for her, queso with chips, brownies with frosting, told me to order for me, and to tip well.

I close the front door behind me and nod at Nate. “What are you doing here?”