Celebrity in Death (In Death #34)(115)

“How?”

He stared at Eve with red-rimmed eyes dull against the gray cast of his skin. “I’m not sure.”

“You’re not sure? How do you know you killed her?”

“Because I knocked her down. I didn’t mean to, but she pushed me, and I pushed her. Not hard, but I shouldn’t have. I never put my hands on a woman in violence. Never. Never.”

He had to stop, squeeze his eyes shut a moment while he calmed his breathing. “There’s no excuse. I know that. Drinking’s not an excuse, being upset isn’t an excuse. But she was screaming at me, and she shoved me, and without thinking, I pushed her back. She slipped, and she fell back and hit her head.”

“Back up a little, okay? You went up to the roof with K.T. Harris on the night of her death?”

“Yes. I should have told you, but Joel …”

“Joel Steinburger told you not to tell the police. You told him what happened, and he advised you to lie to the police.”

“He was just trying to help me. Protect me. It was an accident. I got drunk—after dinner. It was such an ugly thing she said. And she got me aside after. I told you about those two girls, from the club. I didn’t know they were underage. She said she was going public with all of it if I didn’t …”

“What?”

“She said to meet her up on the roof, and she’d tell me what I had to do. I shouldn’t have gone up. I wish I hadn’t, but I was goddamn sick of her threatening me. Everyone. So I did.”

“Was the dome to the pool open or closed?”

“What? Ah, closed. I remember that. I can remember that because she was smoking—a lot, and it was too warm under the dome. I thought about having a toke, to tell you the truth. But all I had to do was stand there and breathe.”

“Why didn’t you open the dome, get some air?”

“I … I didn’t think of it, but I don’t know how anyway. I was so pissed off. She said I had to get Marlo in my trailer. I was supposed to give her a drink, and it would have some Rabbit in it so she’d want to have sex with me. I said I wouldn’t. I’d never do that to Marlo—to anyone. But Marlo, she trusts me. We’re friends. Jesus, Jesus.”

He passed a shaky hand over his face. “I’d never slip any woman Rabbit, but especially a friend. It just made me so mad when she said that’s what I had to do. How could she want anybody to do that?”

“You told her no.”

“I told her to go to hell. I think. It’s all mixed up, but I know we yelled at each other. I think I said some really hard things to her, and she slapped me, then she shoved me. I shoved her back, and she fell. The strap of her shoe, I think the strap of her shoe broke and she fell. There was blood, and I couldn’t wake her up. I got so scared. I was going to run down and get help, call an ambulance, or something.”

“Is that what you did?”

“I started to, then Joel said …” He rubbed at his face, hard this time, as if to scrub the memories to the surface. “It’s all mixed up. He said not to worry. It would be fine, but then he said she must’ve gotten up, or tried, and fell into the pool. And she drowned. He said it wasn’t my fault, but you’d say it was, because busting a celebrity for killing a celebrity made you a celebrity. And I’d go to prison, even though it was an accident. I’d lose everything and go to prison forever.”

“Listen to me. Look at me.”

He met her eyes, pressed his lips together. “Am I under arrest?”

“I could arrest you right now, starting with obstruction of justice. K.T. didn’t get up and fall into the pool. She was dragged in while she was unconscious.”

“I didn’t do that.” His breath began to hitch and tear. “No. I didn’t do that. I couldn’t have. I know I was mad, and I was drunk, but … I couldn’t have done that. I don’t remember. I was going to get help.”

“You got Joel.”

“I don’t know. Did I? No. That’s what’s so mixed up because I didn’t go get him. He was there, and he said he’d take care of it. Then you said she was dead. I didn’t drown her. I couldn’t have done that to her. I never hurt women. I shouldn’t have pushed her. I’d never have pushed her if I hadn’t been drinking, if she hadn’t said those things about Marlo. But I’d never have put her in the water. It was an accident.”

“No, it was murder. But you didn’t kill her, Julian. Joel did.”

“That’s crazy. Please, it had to be an accident.”

“It was murder. And if Nadine hadn’t come, he’d have killed you tonight, setting you up to take the fall for him.”

“Not Joel. You’re wrong.”

“I’m right. Tell me, was he ever alone last night, out there? Did he ask you to get him something out of another part of the suite? After you both poured that one glass of wine.”

“He wanted to see the pages for the scene we were doing today. I keep them in the bedroom. I always read the pages one more time, last thing.”

“And that gave him the time to add the pills to the wine, plant the bottle, even put the bottle away so you wouldn’t be tempted to have more until he had a solid alibi.”

“He made me promise not to drink any more last night. But … no.”