Carter Reed(68)

My heart constricted. “What’s wrong, Carter?”

He only gave me a sad smile. “I’m glad you have a good friend. This life with me is solitary. I worry about you when I’m gone.”

“You don’t ever need to worry about me.”

He gripped my arms. “I do. And I will always worry, but it’s because I love you. I will never control you, Emma. You can make your own decisions and go where you want and I will never say otherwise. But I need you to know that if I worry about you, it’s because I love you. I want you safe. I will always want you safe, no matter who you are with or what you’re doing.”

The intensity on his face had me gasping again. No one had looked at me like that since AJ, since he told me to go as he faced down Tomino in that alley. That had been the last time I felt someone’s love for me as much as I did from Carter now. He had said the words and I knew he meant them, but I felt them this time. I had no words. I had no way to express what I was feeling so I leaned into him and captured his lips with mine. It wasn’t long until both of us were groaning again. I was home. I was where I was supposed to be.

The next month went by and I was happy. Carter tried to limit his travels to one day a week and when he couldn’t, I knew he hurried so he could get back to me. Work passed uneventfully. I was still enjoying my new job and the parameters I was given, but Theresa remained withdrawn when we worked together. That was a damper on my good moods. After work, I began going to the cafe more and more. Amanda started to wait for me in our booth. She knew when my job ended and had a coffee pot waiting for us. We never discussed Ben and Mallory again. I shared with her little things about Carter, about a new restaurant he took me to or how he said we could go to Octave at any time, and she would tell me stories about her co-workers.

The last Friday of the month, I slid into my side of the booth and noticed she was different. Her head was down and she was wringing her hands together. Her shoulders were slouched down.

“What happened?”

Her head snapped up with horror. “I have a date.”

I grinned. “You look ready to pee yourself. How is that a bad thing?”

Her hands kept twisting around each other and she let out a deep breath. “How did this happen? I keep asking myself that and I have no idea how it happened. I really don’t. He was there. He was hot. He was asking for a bagel. I was giving one to him and then his hands touched mine.” Her chest rose for another dramatic breath. “Then he kept coming in. I’m nuts. I know I’m nuts. My best friend is dating a mob hitman, okay-my only friend is dating a mob hitman. What am I doing? I can’t go on a date. I have to call and cancel.”

She dove inside her purse, fumbling for her phone, but I snatched it away. “What are you talking about? You can’t date because of me? You can’t think that, do you?”

She froze.

I saw she did. I flung her purse back on the table, but grabbed her phone before she could. Then I pointed at her, her phone in hand, with each word. “You can date whoever you want. You can’t not date because of me. You got it?”

She swallowed. “He’s a cop.”

Oh.

I fell back in the booth. Her phone fell out of my hand. I hadn’t considered that scenario, but then I really started to think about it. I never told her anything specific. The only things I said about Carter were the good things, how he made me feel and normal dating stuff. I didn’t even know anything about his business connections. He said he was out, but he had killed in the past. And I knew about some of those, but I would never tell a soul. So I looked back up. “Date him.”

“Huh?” Her mouth fell open.

“Date him.” I shrugged. “Why not? You don’t even know Carter. You don’t really know anything about him. Why couldn’t you date this guy then?”

She continued to gape at me before she pretended to bang her head on the table, groaning. “You were supposed to agree with me. I can’t date this guy.”

“Why not?”

“Because!”

I grinned. This was the old Amanda and I said what I would’ve said then, “Just wait till Mals and Ben hear about this. You’ll hear all about-” I stopped. I couldn’t believe I had said that. I’d forgotten. I sat back, feeling the blood drain from my face. “Oh man.”

She shot forward and slapped a hand on the table. “Look at me.”

I’d forgotten about them.

She slammed it down again. “Look at me, Emma!”

I jerked my gaze up, my heart still pounding. Mallory.

She hissed at me, “So what?! Huh? So what. I know what just happened and it’s okay. It’s okay. Okay, Ems? Okay?! I know you’re thinking that you forgot about Mallory and how could you, blah blah blah? Am I right?”

I couldn’t think. My eyes were fastened to hers, but I couldn’t deny the guilt in me.

“You’re wrong. You’re wrong! What happened was a horrible, horrible thing and you saved your friend. You did. You saved her, but when you did what you did, the game changed. Your man knew that. He knew right away that there’d be a time when it would come to you or her. Ben did a bastard move, but he did it to save Mals, and you forgetting about them just this second means that you’re moving forward. Okay? That’s all it means. You’re moving on. We’re all moving on. Wherever they are, they’re moving forward too. You don’t need to feel guilty about leaving her and I know you do. Be happy with that hot piece of ass and feel okay being happy with him.”