Capture & Surrender (Market Garden, #5)(31)

“Right. My, uh. Virus load is very low. I mean, very low. I’ve been taking my pills and keeping on top of things, and my doctor is very happy with me. Tells me I’m quite likely to get a beer paunch and die of something cardiovascular like normal people. I’ve had it for a while. It’s . . . I’m coping with it. My body is. These days it’s more like diabetes or so I guess, unless of course it does decide to f*ck you up.”

“One problem.” Stefan’s voice was firm.

The pulse jumped up in Frank’s throat. Don’t tell me you’re positive too or something. Can’t deal with it. Hard enough as is.

Stefan cracked a smile. “Paunch? Not happening.”

Oh you f*cking bastard.

Despite the joke, the expression in Stefan’s eyes said, I understand, and that helped. He did believe in disclosure. Maybe you had to hit your mid-thirties at least before you could actually admit a weakness like that, things that you were scared of.

“Confession time, then.” Stefan lifted an eyebrow.

“Yeah.”

“My name isn’t Stefan.” Stefan looked intently at him. “Figured I should have told you earlier, but I liked how it sounded when you said it.” He grinned. “Name’s Brandon.”

“That’s nice, too.” Frank thought he sounded somewhat lame—he had liked the name, but it made sense to use a nom de cock, as it were. “Brandon. Will have to tell the others . . .”

“No.” Brandon grinned. “Right now, that’s only for you.”

“Convenient. Since all of this is only for you right now.”

Brandon laughed. “I do so love the spoils of war.”

Frank chuckled. They both got up and managed to share a shower that was for the purpose of getting clean and nothing else. Aside from some kissing, anyway. Maybe a lot of kissing. A hell of a lot of kissing, but at least they washed first.

And there was something clean, Frank realised, about the way they were kissing under the hot water. There was plenty of desire still simmering under the surface, plenty of sex waiting to be had, but for the moment, they were content to let this linger. Arms wrapped around each other, kissing like they had all night and then some. It was passionate and still somehow almost . . . chaste. Intimacy for its own sake, not as a prelude to something more.

That quiet nagging voice in the back of his mind tried to tell Frank not to read too much into this. Any of it. Not the way they kissed, not the fact that Stefan had transformed into Brandon right there in Frank’s bed, not the fact that sex with Brandon was so distinctly different from Stefan’s savage conquests on the field. Frank was older. And positive. And Brandon—Stefan—was a prostitute. This wasn’t a good match for anything other than a roll between the sheets.

He knew that, but ignored it, and let himself get caught up in another kiss that lingered until Brandon suggested they go back into the bedroom. Then the two of them got out of the shower, towelled off, and climbed into Frank’s bed.

And it was awfully difficult to pretend they weren’t lovers when Brandon put his head on Frank’s chest and draped his arm across his stomach, or when Frank put his hand on Brandon’s arm and tenderly ran his fingers back and forth along the thin, soft hair.

“So.” Brandon pulled back and looked up at him. “That’s a hundred for the blowjob, two hundred for—”

Frank laughed. Brandon chuckled, resting his head on Frank’s shoulder again.

“Okay, fine. Free of charge. Just this one time.”

“Except if I do pay you, I’ll have to take my cut. So it’s kind of like getting a discount.”

“Damn it.”

Laughing softly, Frank kissed the top of Brandon’s head.

“All joking aside. Now what?”

Frank stared up at the ceiling and released a breath. “Well, you’ve been calling the shots.”

“Yeah. But to be honest, I wasn’t completely sure I’d get this far.”

“Didn’t you?” Frank grinned. “You seemed pretty sure of yourself.”

“Maybe.” Brandon turned onto his stomach and pushed himself up onto his forearms. “But what’s the point if you don’t want me too?”

“Oh, I did.” Frank stroked Brandon’s hair. “From day one.”

Brandon’s smile was, for the first time, shy. “Then you’re damned good at playing hard to get, because I wasn’t sure.” He moistened his lips. “That was part of what spooked me in your office the other night.”

Frank cocked his head. “What do you mean?”

Brandon lowered his gaze and played with the edge of the pillowcase. “I mean, everything you told me, it hit hard. Knowing what you’d been through. And it hit close to home, too.” He looked at Frank through his lashes. “But before you told me that part, you said you were attracted to me. And I guess it kind of threw me because I had sort of given up on that.”

“You were driving me mad. Felt like I couldn’t . . . like there was no place to run to anymore. I’m not a coward, I’m careful. For everybody’s sake.”

“No, you’re not a coward. Just couldn’t work out what was really going on. You were eye-f*cking me all the time, and that was a . . . Jesus Christ, that was a rush. Fucking that guy, knowing I was really f*cking you somewhere in your head? Big rush.”