Can't Help Falling In Love (The Sullivans #3)(69)

He kissed her softly and when he lifted his mouth from hers, she knew what he was waiting for. It was her turn to say the words, to admit just how much she cared about him. It was what she’d been on the verge of doing a split second before the urgent call came in.

But she still couldn’t do it, not when fear for him was eating her up from the inside out.

No matter how much she wanted to, she couldn’t stop him from going to the fire. Chaining him to her and Summer, forcing him to live a “safe” life, would kill him inside faster than a fire ever could.

His cell went off again and she hugged him tight, then forced herself to push all the way out of his arms and let him go do his job.

“You need to go,” she said again, her brain stuck in an infinite loop of dread, of dark premonition.

Gabe stared at her for a long moment, everything he felt for her in his eyes. “You’re right, I need to go now and fight this fire, but I promise I’ll come back to you. To Summer.”

She shook her head. It was hard to breathe. “How can you make me that promise?”

He moved closer again, took his hands in his, laid them over his heart. “Have I ever broken a promise to you, Megan?”

“No.”

“I’m not going to break it now.”

With a final kiss, his mouth warm on her suddenly cold one, he was gone.

* * *

As Gabe drove to the location of the fire, he knew he had never loved anyone the way he loved Megan. And Summer, too. He wanted them both in his life. He wanted to be a husband to Megan and a father to Summer.

He’d long ago let go of his concerns about dating a fire victim. Megan was so much more than that, and the truth was, he had never really been able to think of her in those terms. She was the antithesis of a victim.

He’d thought Megan was moving past her own concerns, that she was getting used to the idea of his job. But the way she’d just reacted to the fire call...well, she was clearly still fighting those demons her husband had left her with.

Still, hadn’t Gabe purposely kept some of the more extreme fires he’d been to from her? Not because he liked keeping her in the dark, but because he didn’t think it was fair to shove it all down her throat at once. Judging by her reaction to this fire, he wanted to tell himself he’d done the right thing by keeping from her the truth of the danger he faced on a regular basis.

But, he suddenly realized, he hadn’t been fair to Megan by protecting her from the reality of a future with him. Didn’t she deserve to have all the data at hand before she agreed to love him back?

His gut twisted at the way she’d told him to go, at the uncertainty in her previously clear eyes as she looked at him as if her heart were breaking.

Able to see the smoke from several blocks away, Gabe drove in as close as he could before grabbing his gear from the bed of his truck, and walking straight toward the fiery mess in the center of Chinatown.

Gabe could hear gas screaming from the ruptured pipes of the gas main the truck had slammed into right before it hit the buildings on the east side of Grant Street. The crew from Engine 5 was already streaming water to disperse the gas to make sure it didn’t ignite.

Quickly noting the crew had been too busy with the gas leak and the building’s occupants to lay a supply line around to the narrow alley between buildings, he grabbed the hydrant valve, hose from the nearest engine, and laid in the line.

His captain arrived with his partner, Eric, just a step behind him. “Let’s see if we can save some of these stores.”

Gabe grabbed tools and the hose line, put on his face piece, and pulled up his hose. He took the nozzle with Eric backing him up and advanced into the building. Turning into the doorway, he opened the nozzle at the ceiling until the flames subsided.

He didn’t have any ventilation and the smoke was thick, thick enough that he dropped to his knees to crawl across the room to a window. He got it open but, unfortunately, it didn’t make much of a difference.

Slowly, he moved forward into the building, the hose leading the way, Eric at his back.

The situation was bad. Really bad.

But he’d made Megan a promise, damn it.

And he had to keep it.

No matter what.

Chapter Twenty-seven

Megan couldn’t do it.

She’d known all along that she wasn’t strong enough to be with a man who risked his life every day. It was what she’d told Gabe over and over. Immediately after their first kiss, and then again after their first night together. She’d tried to make him understand how impossible this was for her, had tried to keep her heart safe from falling.

But, oh, how she’d wanted to be with him, how she’d wanted the thrill of his kisses, the warmth of his smile, the special connection he had with Summer. So she’d tried.

She’d really tried.

But the panic that had slammed into her when he’d told her about the fire, about the hazardous materials…no, there was no way she could handle being this terrified on a daily basis.

Even after Gabe left his apartment to head for Chinatown, Megan remained right where she was, in his bed, surrounded by his scent, his things, wanting to feel even that small connection a little longer.

Mere minutes ago, she’d been about to take the biggest risk of her life by telling him she loved him and she’d thought that was so difficult. But now she knew what would be infinitely harder: telling him goodbye.