Can't Help Falling In Love (The Sullivans #3)(63)

“I always thought I was so strong,” she whispered, her voice barely rising above the surf, “but the truth is I’ve been scared for so long. Even before David died.” She didn’t want to hide anything from Gabe anymore. Or herself. “We met when I was twenty. I hadn’t really dated anyone seriously before. He was older and dating him was exciting. He never pressured me to do anything I wasn’t ready for and after a couple of months it made sense to sleep together.”

She could feel Gabe tense beneath her. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t want to hear me talking about going to bed with another man. Especially after saying you…”

“I love you, Megan,” he said again, filling in the blanks for her when she faltered at the word love.

“I’m sorry to be saying this now, but I need you to understand,” she said, squeezing his hand, beyond glad that he was there for her to hold on to. “Being intimate with David didn’t even seem like that much of a risk at the time. It was what everyone was doing in college, sleeping with their boyfriends.” She paused. “Only, everyone else didn’t find out they were pregnant on their twentieth birthday.”

This time Gabe was the one squeezing her hands. “I was terrified. Terrified about having a baby. Terrified about marrying a man I wasn’t even sure I loved. I think that was the moment I vowed I was going to live a risk-free life, to protect myself from ever feeling that way again. His death only reinforced that vow.”

She made herself hold his gaze as she admitted. “Being with you is risky on so many levels, Gabe. Not just for me, but for my daughter, too.”

His expression, his voice, was gentle as he said, “I can’t even begin to imagine how scary it must have been to find yourself dealing with so much, so young. But when I look at you and Summer—” He stopped, smiled as he thought of her daughter. “—I know she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”

The moisture building up behind her eyes threatened to spill. “She is.”

“Then aren’t you glad you made those risky choices? Because taking those risks gave you Summer.”

No one had ever pointed it out to her like that. And he was right, she would go through all those terrifying moments again just for the chance to cuddle with her daughter, to see Summer’s face light up when she laughed, to be a part of her daughter’s journey from little girl to woman.

“Say it again, Gabe. Please.”

His hands moved from hers to her face, so strong and gentle, his thumbs caressing her cheeks. “I love you.” His mouth moved to hers and he emphasized his declaration with a kiss that said the exact same thing.

When they pulled apart, despite the butterflies in her stomach, Megan couldn’t say those three words. But she could tell him, “I want to try. You. Me and Summer. I want to give us a chance.” And there was one way to prove to Gabe that she meant it. “Do you have time to head to her school to pick her up?”

“Yes,” he said, his expression telling her he knew exactly what her gesture meant. “I’d love that.”

After they drove to her apartment in silence and parked his truck outside the building, Gabe held her hand for five straight blocks. Summer was beside herself at seeing Gabe on the playground, and as the kids rushed around the firefighter and all talked at once, Megan stood back, watching.

She’d been as brave as she could be today. She’d told Gabe things she’d never admitted to another soul, namely that she’d married her husband because she’d been a scared young woman who couldn’t imagine going forward any other way, rather than for love.

Only, for all she’d said today, Megan hadn’t told Gabe everything.

He’d said the words I love you so easily. And, oh, how she’d wanted to say them back. But she couldn’t. Not yet. Not until she felt more settled, more sure about the decision she was making.

Gabe and Summer walked over to her, hand in hand. Summer was chattering away a mile a minute, with Gabe somehow taking in every lightning-fast word. The warmth that started in the center of Megan’s chest before spreading all through her had nothing to do with decisions.

And everything to do with the sweet possibility of a future full of love.

Chapter Twenty-five

“Ooh, Mommy, look! It’s Justin Bieber! I need a picture with him.”

Summer ran over to the uncannily accurate wax figure of the young pop star and Megan quickly snapped a couple of great shots with her digital camera. When she turned around, she couldn’t see Gabe anywhere in the room, not even over by the Kim Kardashian figure most of the men were drooling over.

Megan, Summer, and Gabe had come down to Fisherman’s Wharf on a clear, cool Friday night to eat clam chowder in sourdough bread bowls, but had ended up inside the wax museum instead. Amazingly, none of them had ever been there before, thinking it was something for tourists, not locals. Megan couldn’t remember laughing so much. Her cheeks actually hurt and she was pretty sure her abdominal muscles would be feeling it, too, the next morning.

Still, she wasn’t at all prepared to see Gabe standing next to his brother in the next room. Or, rather, the wax version of Smith Sullivan.

“He never told us he was here,” Gabe said with a wicked grin. “Boy, are we all going to have fun with this one. Can you take a couple of shots of us?” He draped one muscular arm around the shoulders of the wax figure and Megan noticed several strangers in the room stopping to stare. Especially when Summer said, “Hey, isn’t that your brother, Gabe?”