Burying Water (Burying Water #1)(46)

She bows her head. When I slide my hand under her chin to lift her face and she twists away, I clue in and mentally kick myself. She thinks I’m rejecting her. She thinks I wasn’t enjoying that.

That’s not the issue at all.

The issue is that all she knows is an egotistical, demanding husband who has probably never even considered what she may want or need. I won’t claim that I’m not a selfish person. Right or wrong, I want this. But I don’t want it to be all about me. I drop to my knees in front of her and say, “Alex. Look at me.”

Dejected eyes meet mine. “That’s not what I meant by that question.” I slip my hands around either side of her jaw. “What do you want? Right now, from me.”

Tentative fingers reach up to touch my lips. “I want you to just kiss me for a while. A long while.”

She wants to go slow. I pull her face down into mine, sliding my tongue past her lips, quickly losing myself in her mouth and her eager response, letting time tick away, fighting every urge I have to let my hands wander. Ten minutes, an hour, an eternity passes—Alex’s lips are red and swollen—and then she eases herself back on the bed, her hands pinning mine to her face, pulling me with her, until we’re both lying down. I can’t help myself anymore, my fingers memorizing the firm, smooth curves of her br**sts and the insides of her thighs.

And how ready she is for me.

She gasps against my mouth as I touch her for the first time, and then releases a soft, shaky breath before kissing me again, letting her legs fall apart.

If she told me that he’s never bothered to touch her like this, I wouldn’t be surprised.

But she won’t be saying that about me.

When I try to break free from her mouth and move, her hand on the back of my head tightens and a soft “no” escapes. “Don’t stop kissing me, please.”

I smile, dropping my mouth into the crook of her neck. “I won’t. I promise.” Her body tenses only slightly when I start sliding down, her fingers gently digging into my back as my mouth leaves a wet trail the length of her body. She squirms lightly when I dip my tongue into her belly button.

And when I push my hands between her thighs and slide my tongue inside her, I’m pretty sure she stops breathing for a moment. But I don’t stop, not until her muscles strain within my grasp, and her fingers tug at my short hair, and her pelvis bucks against me, and her entire body shudders.

I stretch out on my back alongside her, watching her chest heave with each ragged breath, her body lying limp. Wondering what’s going on inside that head of hers as she stares up at the ceiling.

Finally she rolls her head to meet my gaze, her lips red and raw and so damn tempting, and my mouth is on hers again, and my body is covering hers, her thighs wrapped around my hips.

“Shit.” I pull back just before I slide into her. It would be so easy to—she’s so ready. “Hold on.” I hang off the bed to grab my pants and fish a condom out of my wallet. I’ve never had issues opening one of these, but now I struggle to rip the foil open with my teeth as Alex’s hot tongue slides up and down my throat. “Fuck,” I groan, finally getting the package open and the condom on.

Locking eyes with her—because I need to know that she wants this as much as I do—I slowly push into her. My name escapes her lips, followed by a low moan that makes me swear under my breath. With parted lips, she watches me expectantly as I pull out and push back in again, deeper, earning another moan. She curls her hand around the back of my head and pulls me down to kiss her again. We keep that slow rhythm, our mouths breaking apart just long enough to let her little moans out, her arms and legs wrapped around my body, her thighs squeezing me tight, her nails dragging along my shoulders and back.

Until I can’t hold out anymore.

“I didn’t know it could feel like that,” she whispers, her hands cradling the back of my head.

Neither did I. I rest my forehead against hers, both of us struggling to steady our breathing, our chests rising and falling together. Enjoying the intimate silence.

Until a tear touches my nose.

“Oh God. What have we done?” I feel the tension start to course back into Alex’s limbs.

Pulling out of her, I yank the condom off and toss it to the floor—something I normally wouldn’t do but right now, I don’t want to let go of her long enough to find a trash can. I roll onto my back and scoop her into my chest, holding her tight.

“I’m sorry, Jesse. I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m just . . .”

I kiss the top of her head. “You’re just a good person.”

“No, I’m not. Not after that.”

“Do you think Viktor’s lying in bed right now, crying over what he’s doing?”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m no better than he is.”

I shut up and let her cry against my chest, watching the minute and hour digits on the clock change as her breathing grows slow and heavy with sleep and my own guilt sets in. I really like Alex—talking to her, laughing with her, just being around her.

Feeling her.

But tonight, I took advantage of this girl, even though I was trying not to. And I feel like a complete dickhead.

The sky begins to lighten when I carefully roll her off me. I pull my clothes on and after watching her sleep for a long moment—I don’t know when I’ll see her again—I leave, needing to get home to change before work.