Burying Water (Burying Water #1)(106)

My phone begins vibrating in my pocket. I see my dad’s name on the display and Viktor vanishes from my thoughts in an instant.

“Yeah?” I suck in my breath again and hold it, waiting for the words that I’ve been dreading for nine long days.

“She’s awake.”

“Seriously?” I stumble over to lean on the closest car, a mumble of “thank God” slipping through my lips. “And?”

There’s a pause. “And right now she doesn’t remember a thing.”

I feel my brow pull together. She doesn’t remember the attack? “I guess that’s good, right?” Nobody should have to live with those kinds of memories.

“No, Jesse. You don’t understand. She doesn’t remember a thing. Nothing. She doesn’t even know her own name.”

Alex sat in that very chair just over two weeks ago. Now my mom occupies it, her face drawn and dark circles hugging her eyes.

Staring at me as if I’ve lost my mind.

“You want us to do what?”

“Don’t tell her.” It’s a simple request.

“She doesn’t have a brain injury, Jesse. She’s going to start remembering things on her own soon enough.”

“Then let her remember on her own terms. When she’s ready.”

“We can’t just leave her adrift like that. The poor girl is completely lost! You should see the look in her eyes. She doesn’t even know her own name!”

“And she also doesn’t remember being raped and cut up and beaten to an inch of—”

“I don’t need the list. I’m well aware of everything that her husband did to her, Jesse,” she snaps. My mom didn’t take the news that I was having an affair with a married, pregnant woman too well. I could have lied and told them that the baby was mine, though I don’t know how much that would have helped. Luckily for me, though, she thinks Viktor should be executed on sight.

My mom sighs. “Why did you two let it get this far? I mean, this man is obviously a maniac and I can see why she wanted to get away from him, but how is hiding all of this now any better? What if she wants to press charges?”

“She won’t.”

She pauses. “This isn’t the first time he’s hurt her.”

I shake my head. “It’s just never been this bad before.”

“What about her family? Won’t someone be looking for her?”

I shake my head a second time. “She doesn’t have anyone but me. Us.”

My mom shares a look with my dad, who leans against the patio door, his face as drawn and tired as the rest of ours.

“There are things that you cannot know, Meredith.”

She answers him with a glare. Apparently that’s been their main method of communication since my dad told her who she was struggling to save, right before he put a gag order on her. She still has no idea who Alex’s husband is—his associations. She’d never sleep again and she sure as hell wouldn’t ever let me out of her sight. My dad’s not willing to put that kind of stress on her.

“Look, Mom. If she starts remembering things, I’ll tell her everything—I promise.”

“And if she doesn’t?”

The entire drive back to Sisters after my dad’s phone call, Alex’s words kept springing into my head. By the time I pulled into my parents’ driveway, I was sure this had to be an omen. “If she has a chance to start over fresh, then we should let her have it. That’s what she wanted. A fresh start. This might be it. You did say this is psychological. So maybe this is her instincts, burying everything she doesn’t want to remember.”

“But that would also mean she doesn’t want to remember you, Jesse,” she says softly.

Maybe she doesn’t. I don’t know what Viktor knows, or why he did this, but I have to think it has something to do with me. Maybe Alex would rather be free of me, too.

I keep that worry to myself as my mom shakes her head absently. “I just don’t see how this can work. Or how it will end well. I mean,” she frowns, “she had deep feelings for you. I saw it the second she walked through this very door. Just being around you may bring everything back.”

“Then I won’t be around her.” It kills me, just saying that, but if that’s what it takes, then I’ll stay away.

“And you certainly can’t pick up your relationship with her.” My mom’s voice takes on that stern tone that she rarely uses. “It’s one thing for your father and I to deceive her, but there’s no way you can carry on like you did without telling her the truth.”

Would she even want that? If she doesn’t remember me, if she didn’t feel trapped and utterly alone, would a girl like her fall for me a second time? I grit my teeth against the possibility that the answer is no. “I’ll stay away from her, I promise. I’ll stay in Portland.”

“Does this husband of hers know about you two? Does he even know who you are?”

“No.” I steal another glance my dad’s way. We agreed that Mom doesn’t need to know about the work I did for him, or about the probably stolen car I’m driving. My dad hit the roof when I admitted that. “Just give this a chance, Mom. Please. She may remember everything in a few weeks’ time, but at least she’ll have a bit of peace until then.”