Burned (House of Night #7)(93)

He'd been right. Heath was braver than he was. Stark bowed his head, and whispered, "Be with Heath, Nyx, and somehow let him find Zoey again in this lifetime." Stark's lips curled up, and he added, "Even if it will cause me a pretty big pain in the ass later on."

Then Stark lifted his chin, wiped his eyes, and left the concealing rock, going quickly and silently to Zoey.

She looked scary bad. Her matted hair lifted in a strange breeze that seemed to whisper around her as she paced, as if moving in time to a ghostly wind. Just before she saw Stark, she raised her hand to brush back some of it from her face, and he saw that her hand and even her arm suddenly looked transparent.

She was literally fading away.

"Zoey, hey, it's me."

The sound of his voice acted on her like an electric shock. Her body jerked, and Zoey whirled around to face him. "Heath!"

"No. It's Stark. I-I'm sorry about Heath," he blurted, feeling stupid but not knowing what else to say.

"He's gone." She looked blankly at the place Heath had stood before he disappeared, and then her pacing took her around the circle again, and her anguished gaze moved to Stark's face.

He knew when she recognized him because she staggered to a stop, wrapping her arms around herself as if in protection from a blow.

"Stark!" She shook her head from side to side, over and over. "No, not you, too!"

He knew what she must be thinking and went to her instantly, pulling her stiff, cold body into his arms and holding her close. "I'm not dead." He said the words slowly and carefully, looking into her face. "Do you understand, Zoey? I'm here, but my body is just fine. It's back in the real world with yours. Neither one of us is dead."

For a moment she almost smiled. She did, briefly, step fully into his embrace and allow him to hold her.

"I've missed you so much," he murmured.

She pulled away from him, studying his face carefully. "You're my Warrior."

"Yeah. I'm your Warrior. I'll always be your Warrior."

With a small sigh, she started pacing her circular path again. "Always is done now."

He kept pace with her, not sure how to reach this strange, ghostlike version of his Zoey. He remembered that Heath had talked to her pretty much like he normally did, so ignoring her confusing words and the fact that she couldn't stop moving, he took her hand, acting like they were just walking through the grove together. "This is a pretty cool place."

"It's supposed to be peaceful."

"I think it is."

"No. Not for me. Nothing will ever be peaceful for me again. I lost that part of me."

He squeezed her hand. "That's why I'm here. I'm going to protect you so that you can pull the pieces of your soul together, and then we'll go home."

She didn't even glance at him. "I can't. Go back without me. I have to stay here and wait for Heath."

"Zoey, Heath's not coming back here. He went on to another lifetime. He'll be reborn. Back in the real world is where he'll be."

"He can't be there. He's dead."

"Okay, I'm not so good at understanding this Otherworld stuff myself, but from what I can figure, Heath left here so that he can be reborn and live another lifetime. That's how he'll see you again, Z."

Zoey paused, stared blankly at him, shook her head, and then resumed her endless pacing.

Stark pressed his lips together hard to keep from saying what was tearing him apart inside - that she would've pulled herself together because of how much she loved Heath, but not for him. She didn't love him enough.

Stark shook himself mentally. This wasn't just about love. He'd known it when Seoras had first confronted him, asking whether he'd risk his life for Zoey, even if he lost her. "I stay with her," Stark had told him. "Aye, laddie, as her Warrior fer sure, but perhaps not as her love."

Perhaps not as her love.

Stark looked at Zoey and really saw her. She was completely broken. Her tattoos were gone. Her spirit was shredded. She was losing herself. Yet still he saw the goodness and strength within her, and Stark was drawn to her. She wasn't what she'd been before - she wasn't what she could be - but even shattered, she was his Ace, his bann ri shi', his queen.

. . . Know there is no going back, for this is the law and lot o' the Guardian pure, nae grudge, malice, prejudice, or vengeance, only yer unflinching faith in honor can be yer reward, nae guarantee of love, happiness, or gain.

Stark was Zoey's Guardian, no matter what. He was bound to her by something stronger than love: honor.

"Zoey, you have to come back. Not because of you and Heath, and not even because of you and me.

You gotta come back because it's the right thing, the honorable thing to do."

"I can't. There's not enough of me left."

"There is now that you've got help. Your Guardian's here." Stark lifted her hand to his lips, kissed it, and then smiled down at her as he remembered. "Aphrodite made me memorize a poem for you. It's one of Kramisha's. She and Stevie Rae think it's like some kind of map you might be able to follow to get yourself whole again."

"Aphrodite . . . Kramisha . . . Stevie Rae . . ." Zoey whispered hesitantly, as if relearning the words.