Burn (Breathless #3)(64)

She didn’t want to think about the type of human being that made her. Or perhaps it just made her human. She hated Michael for what he’d done. Hated the fact that he’d made her doubt herself. That she’d been too shocked, ashamed and afraid to file charges against him. She also hated the fact that if she’d done what she should have, Ash would have never had to have involved himself in the mess. She could hardly blame him when her own inactivity contributed.

“Lot on your mind, baby,” Ash observed as they stopped in the living room.

She turned to him, attempting a reassuring smile. “I’m good, Ash. Really. I don’t want you to worry that I’m upset with you. Or angry. I’m mad at myself, but not you.”

His brow lifted and his gaze sharpened. “Why the hell are you angry with yourself?”

She sighed, and then he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her toward the couch. He sat and tugged her down onto his lap, a position she was becoming all too accustomed to.

She loved that he wanted no distance between them. Loved that he felt the need to touch her often. That he wanted her close whenever they discussed an issue. She drew great comfort from that fact.

It was pretty damn hard to fear anything when she was surrounded by Ash. She knew, just as he’d done with Michael, that he’d protect her from anything that could possibly hurt her.

“Josie,” he prompted. “Waiting, baby.”

“If I’d had the guts to do what I was supposed to do, you would have never had to risk yourself the way you did by going after Michael,” she said with an unhappy frown.

He put his fingers to her lips, his gaze fierce. He looked . . . pissed.

“That’s bullshit,” he bit out. “I would have still kicked his f**king ass. And in a lot of ways, my method of dealing with him is far more effective than if you’d had him arrested. He probably would have gotten out with a slap on the wrist, if that. And if you’d wanted to pursue anything further, it would have been hell on you. And there’s no telling the lengths he would have gone to in order to discourage you from seeking punishment for him. This way—my way—he’s scared shitless, and furthermore, he now knows what it feels like for someone to beat the shit out of him. I don’t anticipate him ever being a problem for you again. Did he say anything to you when you saw him today? You never said.”

She shook her head. “No. He looked . . . scared.”

Triumph gleamed in Ash’s eyes. “Good,” he said fiercely. “So he said nothing? Did he look at you?”

“I ran into him, or rather he nearly ran into me when I was waiting outside the ladies’ restroom for Mia and Bethany. He came out of the men’s restroom and I gasped when I saw him. He looked . . . horrible!”

“Good,” Ash muttered again.

“I asked him what happened but he never said a word. He acted like he couldn’t get away from me fast enough.”

Ash smirked. “Guess my message got through then.”

“Yeah, I guess it did,” she murmured.

He stroked his hand through her hair and then pressed a kiss to her temple. “It still bothering you?”

“No,” she whispered. “I think it bothers me more because it doesn’t bother me. I know that makes no sense, but I feel guilty. I feel like a horrible person for not being appalled over what happened to him.”

He kissed her again, leaving his lips pressed against her head. “You not feeling guilty over that scumbag getting what he deserves doesn’t make you a bad person. He’s an ass**le, Josie. Think about the fact that not only will he not hurt you again, but he won’t hurt any other woman. Having him arrested doesn’t guarantee that. Me kicking his ass and threatening to ruin him if he ever so much as touches another woman wrong does.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I’ll get over it. He did deserve it. I almost wish I’d been there so I could hit him in the nuts just once.”

Ash chuckled. “I got in plenty for you, baby. Don’t ever want you involved in that kind of shit. Want you to shine. Not be dragged in the shadows with me.”

“Sticking up for me doesn’t mean you live in shadows, Ash. It means a lot that you’d risk so much. For me.”

“Bet on that,” he said in a low, serious tone. “Don’t ever question it. Whatever you need, whatever you want, is yours. Never have to ask.”

She leaned up to kiss him. “In that case, make love to me, Ash. That’s what I really need and what I really want right now.”

“That, you definitely never have to ask for,” he growled against her mouth.

He shifted upward, leaned her forward before rising and lifting her into his arms. He carried her to the bedroom and gently, reverently laid her on the bed.

“Don’t know what you have in mind tonight, baby, but what I want to give you is the sweet. You’ve had the pain. Don’t want you thinking about pain tonight, not when you just saw the bastard who inflicted it on you. So tonight, I’m going to give you the sweet. Going to make love to you so you not only know how I feel about you, but you’ll feel it too.”

God, but she loved this man, and it grew increasingly harder not to let those words slip out. How easy it would be to tell him, but she wanted it at the right moment. Right now she wasn’t sure what the right moment would be. But she didn’t want him to think they were just words said in the heat of the moment. She wanted him to know with absolute certainty that she meant them and that they came from her heart.