Burn (Breathless #3)(21)

“And would you be?” he asked bluntly.

She couldn’t suppress her reaction. Her lips thinned and the corners dropped down in a frown.

“Of course not! I don’t want or need you to support me, Ash. I don’t want your money. I want . . .”

She broke off in horror at what she’d almost said. But Ash didn’t miss it and his gaze became all the more intense.

“What do you want?”

“You,” she whispered. “Just you.”

Satisfaction gleamed in his eyes and a slow smile worked over his mouth.

“Then you need to deal, Josie. Because with me comes all that I can give you, and it will not make me happy if you refuse anything I choose to give you or do for you. As long as you and I know the score, I don’t give a f**k what anyone else thinks and neither should you.”

She licked her lips, his earlier words coming back to her. She had wanted to question him then, but the moment hadn’t seemed right and then the food arrived. But the question was burning on her lips, and she had to know.

“You said earlier . . . I mean, when you said you’d give but that you’d take. A lot. What did you mean by that?”

“Everything,” he said bluntly. “You in my bed. You in my space. You under my protection. I’d take everything, Josie, and you’d give it.”

“That doesn’t seem very equal,” she murmured.

“Nothing I can ever give you could compare to your gift of submission. The gift of your trust. Nothing is more valuable than that, and you can’t put a price tag on that kind of gift. I’d spend all my time catching up, because hell no it’s not equal. What you’d give me far surpasses anything I could give you.”

“Wouldn’t you also be giving me yourself? I mean you said I’d give myself to you, but you’d give me you in return, right?”

He paused a moment, still staring intently into her eyes. “You get me. All of me. What I choose to give you. Nothing more. And you have to understand that. If that bothers you, then you have to deal or make a decision because I can’t give you more.”

She digested his words for a long moment and then glanced back up at him, her brow creased as she plunged ahead with her next question, or rather, condition. He might not take it very well, but she couldn’t even consider this if he refused.

“I won’t share you with another woman,” she said. “I mean if we do this, I won’t tolerate you being with another woman. I don’t know how this works. If you have other women like me. But I don’t want to ever worry that you’re with someone else. Because if I give you everything you’re demanding, especially my trust, then I’d expect you to be faithful to me for however long this lasts.”

“I have no intention of sleeping with another woman or even being with another woman if I have you. Why would I need someone else if you’ve submitted to me and are in my bed? I’d never give you that kind of disrespect, Josie. Of everything else I give you, respect would be the uppermost. I’d care for you, protect you and cherish you. No other woman would get those things from me.”

She wasn’t at all sure what to say to that. He sounded so . . . decisive. As if their relationship were already a fait accompli.

He leaned forward, his gaze growing more intense, his tone . . . persuasive. As if he wanted very much for her to render her decision now instead of taking time to think it over.

“One thing you need to realize. I’m not more than you, Josie. I get that there is an inequality in power in the relationship. The scales are tipped in my direction. But that doesn’t mean I’m more. Never more. You are everything in this equation. You don’t lower your gaze. You don’t ever feel like you’re less, because that’s going to piss me off. You don’t kneel unless that’s what I want when you’re sucking my dick. I make the decisions. You submit to me. But that doesn’t make me more and you less. It makes you everything. And your power over me is far greater than any perceived power I have over you. You talk about what I give you and what you give me. Without me, you’ll be fine. You can make it on your own. You’ve proven that. But without you, I have nothing because money, wealth, power, it doesn’t mean anything without someone to share it with. So maybe my need of you is greater than your need of me. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to do everything in my power to make you need me every bit as much as I need you.”

Her eyes widened at his impassioned speech. Holy crap, did he mean that? All of it? “You need me?” she whispered.

He released her hand and leaned back, dragging his own hand through his hair in agitation. “I can’t explain it. This thing, whatever it is between us. But yeah, I need you. I’m not even sure need is the right word because it’s such an inadequate word for the insane urge I have to be with you. To have you. To have your submission. It’s never been like that with another woman. It’s something I want. It’s something I desire. It’s something I enjoy. But with you I need it and if I don’t have it, I’m going to lose my f**king mind. So yeah, I need you, Josie. And that’s putting it mildly. And if that scares you, I’m sorry, but I can’t be any other way with you. I’m shooting you straight. I’ll try not to overwhelm you, but I only know one way with you. Full-on, no holding back.”