Built (Saints of Denver #1)(72)
Don’t be a risk she regrets taking.
Wes handed me a stack of plates to dry and leaned on the counter so he could face me. “I’ve never worked as hard in my life as I have to get her to give me a shot. She’s beautiful, but it was more than that from the very start. I knew she was special and she made me feel special by being around her. That isn’t something you give up lightly.”
No, it wasn’t. It had only been a few days and I felt the weight and loss of walking away from Sayer with every breath I took and in every movement I made. She was settled in my bones, tied so irrevocably to my foundation that the absence of her made me feel like I was going to collapse in on myself. I was also back to being in one hell of a shit mood because of the untouchable blonde.
“And Joss.” He shook his head on a laugh and his eyes lit up as he talked about my niece. “That kid is something else. The life in her is amazing and you never know what is going to come out of her mouth.”
I snorted and put the plates down so I could adopt a similar pose to his.
“Usually something that shouldn’t be coming out. She’s trouble, and as she gets older it’s only going to get worse. Beryl is going to have to be on her toes.”
“Well, hopefully she won’t be the only one. I plan on sticking around, Zeb. I’m in this for the long haul. I want them to be my girls.”
I considered him thoughtfully and silently for a long time. I could tell my lack of response made him nervous because he shifted on his feet a little bit. I was a good six inches taller than him, probably outweighed him by a solid eighty pounds, and I knew that he knew about my past. But he never wavered or looked away. He just told me softly, “I’m not asking you to give them up, but I do want you to share them with me.”
I dipped my chin down in a jerky nod. “As long as you treat them right and they want you around, I’m happy to share. Make my sister happy and try and keep my niece out of trouble, that’s all I ask for.”
He chuckled. “Neither of those things is an easy task, but I’m going to give it my best shot from here until eternity.”
The guy really loved my girls, and I would be lying if I said it didn’t sting just a little bit at how easy it seemed to be for them. I knew that wasn’t the case; Beryl had been burned and turned just as badly as Sayer had been, but my sister wanted more, so she let the past go. Sayer seemed to be holding on to it in a death grip. If I could just get her to let go I could have everything I wanted: the girl, my kid, the dream house, and a life with all of those things tied together.
After the dishes were done we went and watched the rest of the movie with everyone. Hyde was curled up into my mother’s side, and I don’t think he had any clue that the simple gesture was making her cry. It was so small and yet so huge that he was here with all of us. He was ours and he fit right in.
He was still withdrawn and quiet when I bundled him up in his coat and brand-spanking-new Batman hat and loaded him into his seat in my truck. There would be snow on the ground soon and that meant my baby was going to have to go into storage for the winter. She was pretty, but she sure didn’t like to get her wheels dirty and she was the only girl on the street that could make a child’s safety seat look badass.
I reached across the bench seat and clapped my son on the back of his neck and gave him a little squeeze. He might not want to talk in front of everyone else, but I knew when we were alone he would spill why he was so sullen and remote today.
“Why so quiet, buddy? Grandma was so happy to meet you, and Joss talked about playing with you all week long.”
He shrugged his tiny shoulders and kicked his feet like he did when something was bothering him. As if on cue, he sucked in his lower lip and looked out the window.
“You can tell me, Hyde. You can tell me anything, and if you don’t want to tell me what’s bothering you, that’s okay, too, as long you know I only want to help if I can.”
He was silent for a few more minutes and then turned so that he could look at me. “I’m coming to stay with you soon, right?”
I squeezed his neck again. “You bet. This is the last weekend where we hang out during the day and then you get to come stay overnight at my place. Not every day just yet, but that will happen really soon.”
“Okay.” His voice sounded thready and thin. When I looked down at him he appeared to be holding back tears.
“Hey, if you aren’t ready for that you don’t have to come stay with me, Hyde. I want you with me, but you have to be all right with it.” That was some heavy stuff for a five-year-old, but I wasn’t exactly sure what was wrong with him. “I’ll wait until you’re ready.” It seemed like I was going to wait on everyone I loved to be ready for me.
He lifted a hand and rubbed it across his eyes. I palmed the back of his head and contemplated pulling over on the side of the road so that I could give him a hug.
“Are you going to leave me alone in your house when I come stay? My mom used to leave me alone all the time and it was scary. I hate the dark and I was hungry. Auntie Echo would come over and take me to her place so I wouldn’t be scared. You take me places all the time now, and people are always around, so you can’t leave me alone. I don’t like to be alone.”
Talk about a knife right through the heart. I did have to pull over because I was shaking so hard and was so full of regret and wrath that I could hardly respond to him. It took a solid two minutes of deep breathing and mentally talking myself off the edge before I could reply. I was so lucky he had survived his mother’s neglect. I was beyond fortunate I even had a chance to love him and care for him.