Built (Saints of Denver #1)(59)
I pulled out of the heat that she still had me wrapped in and bit back a grin when a frown pulled at her face. I liked the way her golden eyebrows puckered in annoyance at the loss of me. I leaned forward so I could kiss those little lines and told her I would be right back.
It was a good thing she had a master bath attached to the room. One morning when I was running particularly late because of shower sex—totally worth the hitch in my schedule, by the way—I had scared Poppy half to death by bursting into the kitchen half dressed and hurried. The timid young woman was getting more comfortable having me in her space, but clearly she wasn’t at the point where a big, half-naked man was something she was ready to deal with. I thought she was going to burst into tears, and I wasn’t sure how to make the situation any better. Luckily Sayer had heard Poppy’s shriek of terror and had come down to smooth things over. She was so good with the fractured young woman, so kind, so caring, I was baffled how she thought she was going to hurt me.
I made a concerted effort to stay dressed and move more carefully around the Victorian when I knew I might run into the other woman. It broke my heart a little bit for her, but Sayer assured me that the fact that Poppy hadn’t run and barricaded herself in her room after the encounter was huge progress. I was skeptical but decided to believe her.
I crawled back into the bed and pulled Sayer on top of me so that she was sprawled across me like a sexy, naked blanket. I pulled the comforter up over her waist and ran my fingers up and down the knobs of her spine while she traced over the tattoo on my shoulder with her index finger. She did that a lot. It was almost like she was trying to commit the images to memory through touch or something. By now I was convinced that she could draw spot-on images of them if I asked her to, given how much time she spent studying them and touching them.
“Did you tell Hyde?” Her voice was sleepy and sluggish against my chest. I twisted my fingers in the ends of her hair, and as usual the silky strands clung to the calluses I had there.
I’d had two long weekends of unsupervised visits with the little boy, with two more to go before he could start spending Thursday through Mondays with me. I wanted to tell him I was his father before he came to stay with me, but every time I had him all to myself, I chickened out or couldn’t figure out a way to give him such important information in a way that was easily digestible for a five-year-old.
“No. He wanted to ride around in the truck and eat pizza today. I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m just his playtime buddy. I couldn’t do it. He was having such a good time, and I feel like when I tell him, that’s gonna change how he sees me.” I’ll admit it. I was scared to death of a five-year-old. I already loved him so much, was so attached to the little guy that I was terrified that when I told him what our relationship really was he would feel betrayed.
She yawned and then lifted her head up and rested her chin on her hands, which she stacked up over my heart. “You’re running out of time if you want to tell him before the overnights start.” She lifted her eyebrows up. “Speaking of the overnights, you might want to ask your sister or someone to help you make that condo a little more kid-friendly before he comes to stay with you.”
I tugged on her hair and she scowled at me. “What’s wrong with my condo?”
She rolled those ocean-colored eyes at me like I was clueless. “Nothing is wrong with it for a single guy. Everything is wrong with it for a five-year-old. He needs to have someplace that is fun, a place that is all his own. Before you get full custody, the court very well may send a social worker out to check out the living conditions. Your condo is nice, but it doesn’t scream ‘family.’ ”
I moved one of my hands and propped it behind my head. She watched the way the motion made my bicep flex and her gaze got all kinds of stormy and appreciative.
“And I think you’re worrying about nothing. Hyde adores you. He can’t wait for your visits and he talks to his current guardian about you nonstop. It might take some time for him to process the fact that you’re his father, but he’s bright and he cares about you so much. You guys will figure it out together.”
I let go of her hair and tickled the base of her spine where she had two really cute dimples that I was now intimately familiar with. I liked to dip my tongue in them and make her squirm and wiggle while she tried to figure out how low I was going to go as I licked her like a lollipop.
“I hope you’re right, and what do you mean by ‘single guy’?” I palmed one of her ass cheeks and gave it a solid squeeze so that I made sure I had her attention. “Two of us in this bed right now, Say. Two of us in bed at my condo. That makes for me being decidedly unsingle. It’s been that way for a while now.”
She wiggled a little on top of me as I brought up the topic I knew she didn’t want me to broach. She dropped her head so that her cheek was on her hands and I was looking at the crown of her head. “You know what I meant, Zeb.”
I grunted and gave the tight ass cheek I was fondling a smack. She yelped and jerked her head back up so that we were eye-to-eye in the dimly lit room.
“No, Sayer, I don’t know what you mean. I’m with you even though you refuse to admit it, so I am not some single guy. I’m not f*cking anyone else, have no desire to f*ck anyone else, so you are it. This is it.” I was annoyed and she could tell because I could see the war waging between what she thought she should say to that declaration and what she was actually feeling. Terror and joy did battle and crashed like angry waves in her eyes as she gazed down at me.