Brown-Eyed Girl (Travis Family #4)(72)

“It’s going to be such a big hit,” Sofia said in awe.

“I know,” I said, and we both squealed.

Sobering after a minute, she asked, “What about Joe?”

The question made my stomach hurt. “I don’t know.”

“Lots of people do long-distance,” Sofia said. “If two people want to make it work, they can.”

“That’s true,” I said. “Joe’s got enough money to travel as much as he wants.”

“It could make the relationship even better,” Sofia volunteered. “You would never get sick of each other.”

“Quality time instead of quantity.”

Sofia nodded vigorously. “Everything will be fine.”

Deep down I knew all of that was bullshit, but it sounded so good that I wanted to believe it. “I don’t think there’s any need to mention this to Joe until after I go to New York, do you?” I asked. “I don’t want to worry him unnecessarily.”

“I wouldn’t say anything until you know for sure.”

I lasted for most of the weekend without saying a word to Joe, but it nagged at me. I wanted to be up front with him, even though I was afraid of what he might say. I had problems sleeping, waking up repeatedly throughout the night and going through the next day exhausted. This cycle was repeated for two more days, until finally Joe turned on the light at midnight. “I feel like I’ve got a sack of puppies in bed,” he said, a note of exasperation in his voice, but his eyes were warm. “What’s going on, honey? Why can’t you sleep?”

I looked at him in the lamplight, at his concerned face and disheveled hair and that broad chest. I was suffused with a terrible feeling of longing, as if no matter how closely he held me, it would never be close enough. I huddled against him, and he murmured quietly, tucking the covers around us both. “Tell me. Whatever it is, it’s okay.”

I told him everything, talking so fast that it was a wonder he could follow. I told him everything Jasmine had said about Trevor Stearns and Rock the Wedding, and how this was a chance that wouldn’t come my way again, and how it was everything I’d ever dreamed of.

Joe listened carefully, interrupting only to ask a question now and then. When I finally paused to take a breath, he eased my face away from his chest and looked down at me. His expression was unreadable. “Of course you have to talk to the producers,” he said. “You need to find out what the options are.”

“You’re not mad? Upset?”

“Hell, no, I’m proud of you. If this is what you want, I’ll support you all the way.”

I nearly gasped with relief. “Oh, God. I’m so glad to hear you say that. I was so worried. When you think about it, a long-distance relationship doesn’t have to be bad at all. As long as the two of us —”

“Avery,” he said gently, “I haven’t agreed to a long-distance relationship.”

Bewildered, I sat up to face him, pulling the silk straps of my nightgown back to my shoulders. “But you just said you’d support me.”

“I will. I want you to have whatever makes you happy.”

“I’d be happy if I could get this show and move to New York, and also keep my relationship with you.” Realizing how selfish that sounded, I added sheepishly, “So basically I want to have my cake, and also have my cake travel back and forth to visit me.”

I saw his quick grin, although there wasn’t much real amusement in it. “Cake doesn’t generally travel well.”

“Would you at least be willing to give it a try?” I asked. “With a long-distance relationship, you could have the benefits of being single, but you’d also have the security of —”

“I tried that a long time ago,” Joe interrupted quietly. “Never again. There’s no benefit, honey. You get tired of being lonely. Tired of all the miles between you. Every time you’re together, you’re giving a dying relationship CPR. If it’s a short-term separation, that’s different. But what you’re talking about… an open-ended arrangement with no stopping point… it’s a nonstarter.”

“You could move. You would have incredible opportunities in New York. Better than here.”

“Not better,” he countered calmly. “Just different.”

“Better,” I insisted. “When you consider —”

“Hold on.” Joe held up a hand in a staying gesture, a wry smile touching his lips. “First you’re going to go talk to those people and find out if you’re right for the job, and if the job’s right for you. For now, let’s get some sleep.”

“I can’t sleep,” I grumbled, dropping to my back, huffing in frustration. “I couldn’t sleep last night, either.”

“I know,” he said. “I was with you.”

The light was extinguished, the room so dark that it was shadowless.

“Why didn’t this happen three years ago?” I asked aloud. “That was when I needed it. Why did it have to be now?”

“Because life has shitty timing. Hush.”

My nerves had knotted in agitation. “I refuse to believe you would dump me just because I didn’t happen to be conveniently located in Texas.”

“Avery, quit working yourself up.”