Broken and Screwed 2 (BS #2)(8)

My back straightened and my voice rose, “What are you talking about?”

“Stop it. Seriously.”

“Seriously,” I bit back. “Tell me what you’re talking about. I called you. I called you for almost a month. You’re the one who didn’t call me back. You ignored me. You don’t think that hurt me?!” My voice dipped as searing pain ripped through me. I had needed to know what happened. He’d been on the phone with Ethan that night, but he hadn’t said a word. There’s been no response and that hurt more than I could’ve imagined.

He grew quiet again. Then he softened his tone, “What are you talking about?”

I bent over and drew in a shuddering breath. It hurt to breathe now. “I talked to Barbie. She told me about Ethan. You called him that night, Jesse. Why didn’t you tell me that? I called you over and over again. I left messages. I texted you, but you never replied to any of them. Do you have any idea what that did to me?”

Agony stabbed at me.

He choked out, “What? When? Wait—I lost my phone. I had to get a new one. When did you call me?”

I shook my head as I felt tears sliding down my cheeks. “You got a new phone, but not a new number. My calls would’ve come to your new one. Stop lying to me, Jesse.”

“I’m not.” His voice rose and I heard a twinge of desperation. “I’m not. I swear. It took me almost two months before I finally got one. The guys talked me into it. I didn’t want to, but I figured if you ever called me again, I needed to keep that number.”

A harsh laugh ripped from me. “You got a new phone because of me?”

“Yeah.” He sounded serious. “I see Coach every day. The guys live with me. Who else do I care about? Zala learned how to use the internet, so that’s all she does now. I keep a chatting window up just for her. I don’t give a damn about my dad. If he wants to talk to me, he can come see me. I got the phone for you. You don’t believe me?”

I wanted to believe him. So much. It was killing me. “Are you serious?”

“Yes,” he stressed. “And yes, I called Ethan that night. He was with Benson and Barbie that night. I didn’t think he should be with them. That crew wasn’t good for him. They were into drugs and I didn’t want him taking any of that crap. We fought, Alex—” He stopped abruptly, but I heard his deep breathing. Then he wrung out, “I’ve felt so damn guilty about that night. I told him to stay away from Barbie and he told me to stay away from you.” An ugly laugh came from him. “Look at how that worked out. I seduced you the first night I could.”

“No, you didn’t,” I whispered into the phone. “I wanted you too.”

He grunted. “Well, whatever. It’s done now.”

I bit my lip. I wanted to plead with him. I wanted him to take me back, but I held back. I couldn’t handle the rejection, if he turned his back on me. I couldn’t take that after everyone else had left me.

“Isn’t it?” he asked now.

My breathing became labored.

“Alex?”

A groan escaped me. My eyes clasped shut and I could only hold the phone. I was struggling to keep from begging him.

Then he asked, his tone dipped low, “Are you with Nathans?”

“No,” I wrenched out.

“You’re not?”

“I never was.” I slid down and bent over my knees. I wasn’t on the ground, but I was close. I curled into a ball, right there, in the corner of the hallway of all my future classmates. I didn’t care who saw me. I couldn’t do anything else in that moment. The need for him was paralyzing me. “Jesse.”

He murmured, “You didn’t call on his anniversary.”

“I wanted to,” I rasped out. “I thought you had turned your back on me.”

“No. Never. Where are you?”

“At my dorm.”

“Is Cord with you?”

My throat grew thick so I couldn’t talk. I nodded instead.

“Alex?”

“Yes,” I squeaked out. “Yes.”

“Look, I’m coming back right now.”

My head rose. Where had he been? I wanted to ask him, but my throat still couldn’t work. I grunted instead.

“Give the phone to Cord.”

Wordlessly, I went to my room. Cord was sitting on the bed with that girl on my desk. Her feet had been resting on my chair, but she jumped up as soon as I entered the room. Ignoring her, I handed the phone to him. Cord stood from his bed and left the room. I heard him say, “Yeah?”

As his voice faded, my chest lifted up as I struggled to push the emotion away. This was almost embarrassing. I couldn’t even speak. One simple phone call and I was close to being a blubbering mess.

“So.”

I stiffened.

Chandra gave me another serene smile. I wondered if she used it on all the people she considered her minions. “You seem close to Cord? I thought you only knew him from high school. That’s what Kara said.”

I jerked my head in a nod, going to one of the boxes. Lifting it from the floor, I settled it on the desk. She had to jump out of the way, but I was able to stand with my back to her. As I started to unload the pictures and books, she said further, “I don’t live in the dorms. I only came to see Kara. She’s one of my best friends, her and Tiffany. We’re all juniors this year, with Cord. I was upset. I thought Cord was cheating on me.” She heaved a deep breath. “He’s not, right? I mean, you’re not…cheating with him? Are you?”