Broken and Screwed 2 (BS #2)(79)

Cord cast me an amused look.

I would’ve shared the same feeling if I hadn’t been painfully aware that Jesse still hadn’t called. He hadn’t texted. He hadn’t emailed. He hadn’t even sent a message through Kara, who checked in on me daily since I left.

Finals passed. Everyone left for Christmas break. I had been planning to stay at Jesse’s during the holiday break so I never considered going home. They still had games so everyone was going to celebrate the holiday together, but considering my situation, I was shit out of luck. The dorms shut down so I went home to an empty and cold house.

I expected to be alone for the entire break.

I was wrong.

Angie came over the day after Christmas. Marissa came the next day. Even Eric made an appearance. Things were better with my friends, but there was still a strained tension. I never told them about Jesse. Angie never asked and Marissa had never known I was living with him. Eric asked if I could go for dinner one night and I went, but it was just as friends. I made that clear. Towards the end of the first week home, Angie’s boyfriend had a party. It was a small one in his family’s cabin. She made me go and being back at Justin’s family cabin had been weird. Marissa was there with Sarah Shastaine, who hated me even more after Marissa told her that Jesse had been sneaking around with me again. After Sarah got drunk, she followed me around and asked questions about Jesse. The entire night went like that. I was asked what he’s doing now, if he has a girlfriend, if we were still f**k buddies, if he told me why he broke up with her, if I thought she could get him back, etc. It was exhausting. I had a few drinks just to handle her.

Angie eventually kicked her out.

I was grateful.

And because Marissa was still roommates with her at their college, she drove her home. She apologized for Sarah’s behavior the next day over brunch. Marissa drove to the house and forced me to go with her.

It was the second week when I got more visitors. Hannah and Beth showed up on my doorstep. They announced they were moving in for the last week. They didn’t say anything about Jesse, but they did share that Jamie was back in the house. He and Tiffany were back together, I hadn’t known they weren’t, and Kara wanted to come with them to see me. I was glad they hadn’t let her. Kara had seen Jesse every day over the holiday. I wouldn’t have been able to handle that.

Eric had a party at the end of the week before everyone went back to their colleges. No one knew how to react to Hannah or Beth. Hannah hit on Eric and Justin within the first hour. Marissa thought it was hilarious. Angie hadn’t known who to get mad at—Hannah, Justin, or me. Then Beth grabbed her cousin and told her ‘No Sex’ in front of the group. Hannah glared at her, but grumbled, “Fine.” They sat and drank with me in the living room throughout the rest of the party. After a while, Marissa and Angie sat with us, but they were still unsure of my new friends. I was informed that Sarah was angry with me because of Jesse so she would no longer be attending a party that I was at. I was grateful. I thought everyone else was grateful too. The rest of the party passed without any drama, except that Hannah staggered from a back room when we were leaving. Her clothes were inside out and her hair was sticking up. Eric came behind her. Her pink lipstick was smeared all over him.

She asked me if he had a girlfriend when we drove back to my house.

Jesse texted me that Saturday night. It wasn’t much. He only asked if I was coming back the next day. I shouldn’t have responded, but I did. My chest was heavy and pain seared me, but I told him I was. His response was:

I hope you had a good holiday. I’m sorry I never said Merry Christmas.

That was it. There was nothing else.

I turned my phone off for the rest of the night. He wasn’t going to text me anymore and it hurt too much. I would’ve been listening for an alert for the rest of the night.

When we went back to the dorms, Hannah and Beth went to Club T. I was invited to go along, but declined. By now I knew there was someone there for Beth. I figured it was a worker. She’d go and she always seemed more laidback when she would come back. Hannah seemed different when she came back as well. Beth told me over breakfast the next morning (Hannah had slept in) that her cousin met a guy. He was in a band, someone famous apparently, and he was bald with a scar over his face. Hannah loved describing the scar to Beth when they rode back in the cab.

After we finished eating and went our separate ways, I headed to anthropology. The class was filled with upperclassmen. At first, I didn’t pay attention, but when I heard Jamie’s voice, my stomach rolled over. Not again. But I looked up and there he was. Again. And Jamie wasn’t alone. He was followed inside by Cord…and Jesse.

Both guys stood in the doorway. I was in the back row, but I knew I’d been spotted.

I couldn’t look away from him. His hair had been cut short again. As his jaw tightened, his eyes flashed an unnamed emotion. It glimmered in him before I pulled my gaze away. As I did, my chest lifted up as I tried to catch my breath. I shouldn’t have been surprised. Jesse was gorgeous. And the sight of him, after so many weeks apart, sent sensations through me. Not the good kind.

It seemed that everyone else in the room felt the tension. All eyes trailed from Jesse to me and back again. I looked back. I couldn’t keep my gaze away. And then I watched, as if in slow motion, as he made a decision. He led the way and took the seat beside me.

I couldn’t speak. I wanted to say so much, to ask him about the secret, to ask him why he was doing this to us, but I couldn’t do any of it. Instead, I slunk down in my seat and I didn’t say a word. Jamie took the seat on Jesse’s other side and Cord took the seat on my side. I felt everyone watching and then the whispers started again.