Broken Dove (Fantasyland #4)(160)
What did that mean?
My heart started hammering in my chest so my voice sounded breathy when I asked, “What mistakes?”
“I’ll explain when I’ve thought on them, come up with a plan, put it in action and rectified them,” he declared.
“You’re still angry with me,” I deduced quietly.
“Livid,” he bit off, his formal aloof demeanor slipping as he said that two-syllable word in a tone that proved it absolutely true.
Then, unbelievably unfortunately, he spoke on.
I’d felt the edge of his tongue when he spoke without controlling his emotion before doing it.
Each time he’d done this, it had gutted me.
But this time, it destroyed me.
“It would seem I am much like your father, Madeleine, for no matter how I wish to keep you from harm, you consistently find your way into it by making rash decisions that lead to dire consequences.”
After he finished, I stared at him hoping he did not just say that.
Or, since he obviously did, that he would immediately take it back.
I’d told him all about my father.
He knew. He freaking knew.
He knew that wasn’t right and he knew how his saying that would make me feel.
I stood there, staring at him, and gave it time.
Apollo didn’t take it back.
“He didn’t wish to keep me from harm,” I whispered and I wanted to kick myself because it sounded uncertain and it bloody wasn’t. Then I pointed out, “When offered the chance, he didn’t even try.”
“Or he may have been smart enough to know when he should give up.”
Now, he did just say that.
He’d said it.
Straight up.
I knew because I felt the blow and when I did, I flinched and put a hand to my belly to soothe the pain that shot through me.
Apollo’s face didn’t change in the slightest as he witnessed this.
I had f**ked up. I knew it. I knew it was huge. I admitted it. I apologized for it.
But even as big as it was, an attack this brutal was undeserved.
Completely underserved.
“Attempt to stay safe and not do anything unwise, if you can manage that,” he went on, his tone ominously final, and a chill of pure frost slid over my skin, making me shiver. “We will speak further when there’s something to say.”
I had things to say.
I had tons of things to say.
I didn’t get a single thing out.
This was because, for the second time that day, for the fourth time of our acquaintance (yes, I f**king counted), without another word, after having lowered the boom on me, Apollo turned and walked away.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Where did you go from there?
“I’ve seen some serious stuff on this world, and I mean serious. Serious cool. Serious crazy. Serious sick. But this was serious beautiful.”
Circe, Finnie, Loretta, Meeta and I were in the sitting room of the dower house and Circe was explaining the procedure of getting her magic back.
Loretta was cuddling and cooing to Circe’s drowsy, close-to-a-nap baby daughter, Isis.
Meeta was cuddling (but not cooing) to Finnie’s snoozing Viktor.
I was trying to contain a very active Tunahn, Circe’s baby boy, a child Circe shared was immune to naps (and sleep on the whole most of the time).
I was listening because it was interesting.
I was also not listening because my heart was bleeding.
It had been two days since I’d f**ked up huge, Apollo came and took his anger out on me, and I had not seen or heard from him since.
This was not a surprise. It must be said, the man could hold a grudge.
But this time it was worse.
He had a right to be angry.
But the way he expressed that was not okay.
In thinking on it, it occurred to me that it had not been okay the first time he did it. Or the second. And definitely not the last.
I’d run away from Pol so I wasn’t his literal whipping post.
I didn’t need to be with a man who used me as his verbal one.
I mean, seriously.
Since Apollo was again keeping a distance, Cristiana, Meeta and Loretta were keeping an eye on me, Cristiana especially. But this time, I didn’t feel it was up to me to go to Apollo and apologize.
No way.
It wasn’t like I’d screwed up and tried to pretend it wasn’t a big deal and told him to just get over it. I’d owned up to it straight away.
Then he’d way overreacted.
In fact, I wasn’t sure there was any situation where his reaction would be appropriate.
Or, honestly, forgivable.
Since we left Brunskar I’d been feeling more and more like shit because Apollo had so much to offer and I had so little.
I sure as hell didn’t need him to point that crap out.
The good news was, Apollo allowed Élan to come have lunch with me yesterday, at her request. This was super sweet and I loved spending time with her because she was super sweet. She was also so exuberant, witnessing her natural delight at pretty much everything was the only time I could forget my growing anger.
The other good news was, Finnie and Circe came and went as they pleased. And with the men holed up talking about dragons, elves, witches and war plans, they had time to come and go as they pleased. So I was getting to know Finnie more and Circe better, which was nice, since they both were great.