Brightly Woven(64)

I was free from whatever had been holding me back before. I moved quickly, so much more lightly than a moment earlier, splashing through the dirty water toward the other archway. I can do this, I thought. I’m going to be fine. I will be alone, but I will be fine.

“Syd?”

The voice that echoed through the chamber was laced with incredulity and relief. My body lurched to a halt. With that single word, my heart suddenly constricted, the blissful nothingness gone. All I could feel was hurt, and then, suddenly, a hot flash of anger that raced down my spine and curled my toes.

“Did you get lost down here?” he asked, laughing. “I’ve been looking for you all day! Come on, we’ve missed dinner.”

I couldn’t turn around—I wouldn’t. I was one of Mr. Monticelli’s little glass animals, teetering at the very edge of a shelf, waiting to fall and smash into a thousand pieces. I took a deep, calming breath and continued walking.

“Where are you going?” North called.

I walked faster, feeling the first burn of tears. Unfortunately, North was walking faster, too. His long strides overtook mine in a moment, and he blocked my path with a look of annoyance. When his hands reached out to touch me, to stop me, I shattered, like one of the glass animals.

“Don’t touch me!” I yelled. “Don’t look at me, don’t talk to me—just leave me alone!” I pushed him away with all my strength. North stumbled back a few paces, but recovered quickly and seized my shoulders before I could fight back.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Did something happen? Did someone hurt you?”

I struggled to pull out of his grip, fighting the urge to scream. “I think you know exactly what you did.”

“I left because of that other man!” North said. “I don’t know why you had to hang all over him like that.”

I shook my head in disbelief. “I don’t believe you.”

“If that’s not it, then what?” North cried.

“Explain to me again,” I said, “why it was that you chose me.”

Even in the faint light I could see the color drain from North’s face.

“I told you,” he began weakly. “I needed an assistant.”

“So it wasn’t because you wanted to study me?” I asked, unable to stop the tears from filling my eyes.

“What are you—?”

“It wasn’t because I was a jinx,” I repeated, “and you wanted to use my blood?”

North’s hands released me. He opened and closed his mouth wordlessly.

“You really had me, you know.” I took a step back. “I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t heard the words come out of your own mouth.”

“What did you hear?” he demanded.

“I heard everything!” I cried. “You want my blood? You want a fresh sample? Isn’t that what Pascal said? Then take it if you want it so badly!”

He stared at me, horrified, but unable to deny any of it.

As I turned to go, he grabbed my arm and spun me back around. I tried to pull free, but he held me in a crushing grip.

“Don’t you dare walk away from me,” he shouted. “Not after everything!”

“Everything? Everything was a lie!” I said. “You said you came to Cliffton to give us rain, but it was because you sensed me, wasn’t it? All I ever wanted from you was the truth, and you couldn’t even give me that!”

“I’m sorry,” he said desperately. “I never meant to hurt you. I needed to try, to see if there was any hope left for me. I didn’t want to bring you here, Syd. I didn’t want to even try to break the curse anymore. After you ran away, all I wanted to do was take care of you, I swear.”

I would have given him my blood, I would have given him anything, if he had ever asked. All I could do was shake my head.

His grip on my arm tightened as he hauled me closer. For a single, stupid instant I thought he might try to kiss me. Instead, he simply pinned me there, staring into my eyes.

“All of those people, North,” I said. “All of those homes and families…How could you take me to those cities, knowing that I could destroy them?”

“If I had told you that you were the cause of those storms, would it have made it any better?” he asked. “Would it have lessened your hurt or guilt? How do you feel now, knowing that you inadvertently caused your entire village to suffer for years? I never wanted you to feel that kind of pain.”

“But it’s still my fault, if I hadn’t—”

“If you hadn’t been born?” North said. “Syd, there was nothing you could have done about this! It is not your fault, and it has never been. Your powers, like the power of all magic users, manifested themselves when you were around seven years old. I believe those new powers fed into and worsened the dry conditions that already existed, so instead of a quake or storm, a drought occurred. You didn’t ask for it or even recognize it.”

“You should have told me from the beginning!” I pressed my hands to my face, taking in a shuddering breath. People had died because of that drought. My parents, my grandparents, my friends—all of my loved ones had suffered from constant hunger and fear that they’d be forced to leave their homes. And why? Because I had been born with this curse, because I was that random anomaly in nature. Just by existing, I had caused them to suffer.