Breathe (Colorado Mountain #4)(54)
Silas’s focus grew intense and his voice went quiet when he returned, “Then you’d be wrong, son. Arnie Fuller was a piss-ant as a kid. His Dad was an ass**le. His Granddaddy was an even bigger one. Then he got himself a uniform and he was no less a piss-ant. But a piss-ant with a badge is not a good thing. Grew from there ‘cause, see, that man had no way to go except bein’ an ass**le like his kin. Problem was, he was better at it than both of ‘em. You may not have been here then but you know it grew and how it grew. It wasn’t bad when you started but that kinda shit is always bad, just the level of shit you gotta negotiate rising. Got to the point we were all drownin’ in it. You and Dolinski cleared that away. Not one man before you, even Tate Jackson, took that on. Two decades of shit at a rising level. So, I disagree with you not agreein’. You did a thing no man before you would do and a lot of people are grateful.”
Not wanting to talk about this but definitely wanting to shut it down, Chace accepted the gratitude with a chin lift then he took another sip of coffee.
Silas took a sip of his and his gaze returned to the window.
Silas didn’t speak. Chace didn’t either. This stretched on awhile and Chace tired of it.
“Silas, there more you wanted to share?”
Silas’s eyes cut to him and he didn’t hesitate lowering the boom.
“I don’t want you datin’ my daughter.”
Chace felt his body go solid.
Fuck, shit, there it was.
Fuck.
Shit.
“Silas –” he started.
Silas lifted a hand. “Grateful, son, told you that. But I’m an honest man so I came here to share that gratitude and lay it out. I wish you happiness. You deserve it but not with my daughter.”
“That doesn’t sync, Silas,” Chace said quietly.
“I get that. But I’m guessin’ you also get me,” Silas returned quietly. “See, Chace, I pay attention. Knew the kind of man you are the minute I laid eyes on you. Don’t know the story. Know it’s not a good one. It’s none of my business and I don’t wanna know. So I’m not askin’. What I do know is my daughter’s a dreamer. She hides those stars in her eyes but you don’t gotta look deep to see ‘em. As her father, I want her to live out whatever dream she’s cookin’ in that pretty head ‘a hers. I also know that you married a woman under the eyes of God and even if you didn’t wanna have your ring on her finger, it was. Then you went about your business like you hadn’t made those vows under the eyes of God. I figure you had your reasons but whatever they were, I’m a man, a husband, a father and I want good for my daughter. I hope somewhere inside you that you get me when I say that no matter what the reason, breakin’ that vow to your wife, to God, don’t sit good with me when it comes to you spendin’ time with my girl.”
“We were married by a Justice of the Peace,” Chace shot back immediately when Silas stopped talking and he watched Silas blink.
“Come again, son?”
Chace straightened away from the counter and held the man’s eyes.
“At the time, didn’t think I’d have another shot. What I did know was that if I married a woman I intended to love and cherish until death did us part, I’d be happy to stand in front of a preacher in God’s house and make that vow with the intention of keepin’ it. Misty wanted a church wedding. She did not get one for precisely that reason. I was not going to make a vow in God’s house that I intended to break. So I didn’t. Now, if I’m lucky enough to find a woman I love and cherish, I will make that vow to her and to God to stand by her side in sickness and in health until death do us part. And if that woman happens to be a woman I chose, a woman I actually love and cherish, make no mistake, Silas, when I make that vow, I’ll mean it.”
He took in breath, Silas opened his mouth to speak but Chace beat him to it.
“And I want you to know, I don’t take offense. You’re right. I get you. You just don’t get me. I even appreciate you comin’ here, lookin’ after your girl. You’re also right, what went down is none of your business. I’m not gonna tell you what that is, not ever. What I can promise you is that, if what’s bloomin’ between me and Faye keeps takin’ root, grows and blossoms, she will know everything. I will not keep anything from her. It’ll be up to her to make the decision whether she wants to stick with me on this path I’m on tryin’ to get back to the man I wanted to be. When she learns, if she decides to share that with you, that’s her call. I won’t get in the middle of family and how they communicate. I won’t ask her not to share. I’ll let her decide what she needs to do. I’m fortunate her folks are the folks they are ‘cause I already know without havin’ to ask that you and your wife won’t share if Faye does.”
“Tryin’ to get back to the man you wanted to be?” Silas asked softly.
“You swim in filth, Silas, it seeps in through your pores.”
At that, Silas shifted away from the counter and whispered, “Son, you cannot take that on.”
“Too late. I did that when I married Misty. I’ll give you a little. I got caught in that trap six years ago. I worked with IA for fourteen months. I reckon you can do the math.”
“But –”
Chace talked over him. He had shit to do. He didn’t want to talk about this. Even with a good man like Silas Goodknight deserving his time, reminding him he wasn’t good enough for Faye and why, he had no intention of backing off.