Breathe (Colorado Mountain #4)(141)

“Another man is not gonna come along,” he informed me and I stared.

Then I asked, “What?”

“You are not movin’ onto another guy,” he crossed his arms on his chest and finished, “Ever.”

“That choice is not yours.”

“Yeah it is,” he returned swiftly. “You can’t give away what’s mine.”

“You aren’t getting this, Chace, but just now, I took it back.”

“Can’t take back what’s mine either.

God! He wanted to go, why wouldn’t he just go?

I had to shut this down.

“I thought you were tired,” I reminded him.

“Thought of movin’ on,” he stated and I was back to staring.

Then I thought I got it, it hurt but whatever. I had wine and, tomorrow, I’d call the girls and then, in about fifty years, I’d get better so I invited, “There’s the door. Move on.”

“Was this close to it,” he continued.

“Chace –”

“Then you came back into town.”

I felt my head jerk in surprised confusion.

Chace kept speaking.

“Decided with one look at you, I’d put up with it, all the shit that was gettin’ worse at work ‘cause my end game would be you.”

Was he saying what I thought he was saying?

“The town’s sweet, cute, quiet, pretty librarian in my bed, my ring on her finger, enjoyin’ it as I taught her how to enjoy it, plantin’ my babies in her, building a family.”

Holy fraking frak!

He was saying what I thought he was saying!

No, he was saying more.

I stopped breathing.

He continued talking.

“One look, at the grocery store, you in the aisle, your nose in a book. Stared at you, so f**kin’ cute, but I had no clue how you could shop and keep your nose in a book. But there you were, doin’ it. You looked up, saw someone you knew, smiled at them and I knew eatin’ all that shit at work would be worth it when I was ready to make my play. That cute in my bed. That hair. Those eyes. That smile. Definitely worth it. So I ate it, bidin’ my time, gettin’ the wild out of me so all I’d give you was sweet. You’d move to Gnaw Bone, Chantelle, I knew you would so I could kiss that bullshit good-bye, get myself out of it without takin’ you away from the folks you loved when I claimed you.”

Holy frickity fraking frak, frak, frak!

I forced air in my lungs.

Chace moved toward me and kept talking.

“Waited too long.”

I watched him come to me, my heart beginning to beat harder and my feet no longer not moving because I was trying to be cool but because I was frozen solid with shock. He came to a halt one foot from me so I tipped my head back to look at him.

He lifted a hand, pulled the wineglass from mine and set it on the counter with an alarming-sounding clink.

I looked at the glass in a vague effort to ascertain that it wasn’t broken then I tilted my head back to look back at him, mouth open but I didn’t say a word.

He did.

“He touched you.”

I blinked because I didn’t understand his words.

“What?”

“He touched you,” Chace repeated.

“Who?” I asked.

“My father. He wasn’t only in your presence, you, my Faye, mine, cute and clean and sweet, he touched you. Took your hand, held it,” he stopped speaking abruptly, sucked breath in through his nose then bit out, “Put his mouth on you.”

Okay, now, what on earth?

“So?” I asked quietly when he said no more.

“He likes kink.”

I blinked again because these words were unexpected and also I didn’t know what they meant.

“What?”

“Kink,” he ground out then, “Sex, darlin’, can get adventurous and you don’t carry on with this bullshit play you got goin’ on, we’ll have time, I’ll show you how and we’ll explore that in good ways that we both like. But it can also get weird. To each their own. I don’t give a f**k what someone does to get off. What I do not need to know is that my Dad likes it weird and when I say weird I mean sick-f*ck, turn your stomach,” he leaned into me for emphasis even though he put undeniable verbal emphasis on his final word, “weird.”

I didn’t want to know this. I didn’t want him to know this. I didn’t know why he was sharing this. And I didn’t want to know how he knew this.

But he told me.

“Misty and a girlfriend took an assignment from Arnie Fuller and they did that shit to my Dad. They also taped it. They also blackmailed him with it. And I’ve seen that tape.”

My mouth dropped open as my stomach clenched and bile filled my throat.

I closed my mouth to swallow it down.

Chace’s eyes moved over my face and when they locked on mine, he whispered, “Yeah. That unpleasant enough for you, Faye?”

It definitely was.

“I –” I started.

“Gets worse,” he cut me off and I blinked again.

Worse?

How could that possibly get worse?

Chace told me.

“Her play, soon’s you get over the shock of learning that jacked up shit, you’d figure out. But still, I’ll tell you. She used that tape to get money from my Dad. Arnie used it to get my Dad under his thumb and Misty used it more to get my ring on her finger. They played that tape for me and told me the way. Either I marry Misty and tow the dirty cop line or my Mom sees that tape. So I wind up with a f**kin’ wife who did my Dad dirty in more than one way. I got that shit burned in my brain and her slut ass sleepin’ in my f**kin’ bed. Top that, through that shit, I know what they’re doin’ to Ty, I know why and I can’t do one f**kin’ thing to stop it or my Mom pays. In the end for all I know, I got no shot at anything, Misty doesn’t let me go or shit doesn’t get cleaned up. No future. No family. No you. Nothin’ that I wanted, wanted all my life, important things like a woman I loved in my bed and kids we made under the roof I provided by doin’ good work I was proud of. Just a bitch in my bed and a Dad who cheats on my Mom and how he cheats a memory I will never, ever erase.”