Breathe (Colorado Mountain #4)(128)

Oh God, Laurie was right.

I stood and reminded him, “You didn’t kill her, Chace.”

“I didn’t protect her either.”

Oh God. Laurie was so right.

“Has it occurred to you that you couldn’t even if you tried?” I asked.

“Yeah, Faye, but I also didn’t try,” he answered instantly.

Oh God.

I reminded him of something else. “She trapped you into marriage.”

“That make it okay she died that way?” he asked swiftly.

“Of course not,” I answered just as swiftly.

He studied me a moment before asking, “You’re so okay with Misty gettin’ done the way she did and me holdin’ no responsibility for that, why are you so far away?”

At that, I moved to him, I did it quickly, setting my wineglass on the counter as I rounded it and went right to him. He turned to me as I got close and I fitted my front to him, rested my hands on his chest and tipped my head back to look right in his eyes.

“I suppose,” I began to give in, “since I’m not doing anything else as stupid as being the de facto ringleader of a band of amateur computer sleuths, I won’t have to be worried you’ll get that pissed at me again so I also suppose this conversation is moot.”

He lifted a hand, slid my hair off my shoulder than wrapped his fingers around the side of my neck, his other hand still curled around his beer on the counter and his lips twitching as he noted, “Bet I’m the only man banging a woman in Carnal who uses the words ‘de facto’.”

“This is likely,” I murmured and his fingers at my neck gave me a squeeze.

His voice was low and serious when he ordered, “You forget what you know about those men, who they are, whatever they uncovered and shared with you.”

I nodded.

“You tell anyone about that shit?”

I shook my head.

“Think hard, Faye. Lexie? Lauren? Even Twyla?”

I kept shaking my head and whispered, “No, Chace. No one. I even lied to Krys, Lexie and Lauren when I let it slip about going to Harker’s Wood and I never lie. Or um, I very rarely lie.” God! No more lying! “No one knows,” I concluded.

“Right,” he muttered.

I took in a breath then I leaned deeper into him and asked quietly, “How do I help you let go the responsibility you feel for what happened to Misty?”

“Don’t get dead like her,” he replied immediately.

“Okay,” I whispered hoping a frak of a lot I managed that then went on, “But other than that.”

His eyes moved over my face as his hand slid up to my jaw then his thumb slid over my lips before going back and he answered, “No f**kin’ clue, baby.”

I was still whispering when I told him, “I hate that happened to her.”

“Me too,” he whispered back.

“I don’t know what happened but maybe, if she was playing with fire, with Arnold Fuller, what she did with Ty, maybe it was her who got herself burned.”

Chace pulled in a breath.

Then he admitted softly, “She was playin’ with fire.”

There it was. A little of his “dark”. Not much but a little. Thank God.

“She didn’t deserve it but it isn’t your fault,” I told him softly.

“Okay, Faye.”

“Seriously, Chace.”

He dipped his face close to mine and he whispered, “Okay, Faye. Seriously. You’re right and you don’t even know how right you are. She got messed up with people she thought she could play, she made her deal, didn’t get out of it what she wanted, rethought things and the people she’d f**ked along the way and wanted to do right. They knew she was wavering. They took her out. Lucky for Ty, she wavered and fell the right way before they gave her the ultimate f**k in more ways than one. So yeah, they could have done her in my house and they’d have found a way to do it without me bein’ able to stop it. Okay. I’ll work on lettin’ it go. Now can you smush up the f**kin’ potatoes and add shit that makes it taste good so we can eat before you go to bed at midnight?”

“Yes,” I answered.

“Good,” he muttered.

I pressed my lips together, fighting a grin, hoping I got through even a little bit and I started to move away but his hand sliding back down to my neck and curling in a way that got my attention stopped me.

“I’ll do everything I can not to get that pissed at you again,” he promised on a whisper looking me straight in the eyes.

My heart skipped.

Yes, I was precious to him. He had a right to be pissed. I had a right to be scared. But I knew he’d stop it before it happened again and he’d do it for me.

Touched by an angel.

Yes.

I was precious.

“Thank you, honey,” I whispered back.

“Potatoes.”

“Right.”

His fingers dug in as he dropped his head and touched his mouth to mine before he let me go, I moved away and turned my attention to the potatoes.

* * * * *

“You gonna memorize the pattern of my chest hair or are you gonna get off me and read until two in the morning?”

At Chace’s question, I stopped doing what he said I was doing, running my eyes and fingertips over his chest hair and I tipped my head back to look at him.