Breaking Dawn (Twilight #4)(109)
He was not so hesitant in his movements; his arms locked around my waist and pulled me tight against his body. His lips crushed down on mine, but they felt soft. My lips no longer shaped themselves around his; they held their own.
Like before, it was as if the touch of his skin, his lips, his hands, was sinking right through my smooth, hard skin and into my new bones. To the very core of my body. I hadn't imagined that I could love him more than I had.
My old mind hadn't been capable of holding this much love. My old heart had not been strong enough to bear it.
Maybe this was the part of me that I'd brought forward to be intensified in my new life. Like Carlisle's compassion and Esme's devotion. I would probably never be able to do anything interesting or special like Edward, Alice, and Jasper could do. Maybe I would just love Edward more than anyone in the history of the world had ever loved anyone else.
I could live with that.
I remembered parts of this - twisting my fingers in his hair, tracing the planes of his chest - but other parts were so new. He was new. It was an entirely different experience with Edward kissing me so fearlessly, so forcefully. I responded to his intensity, and then suddenly we were falling.
"Oops," I said, and he laughed underneath me. "I didn't mean to tackle you like that. Are you okay?"
He stroked my face. "Slightly better than okay" And then a perplexed expression crossed his face. "Renesmee?" he asked uncertainly, trying to ascertain what I wanted most in this moment. A very difficult question to answer, because I wanted so many things at the same time.
I could tell that he wasn't exactly averse to procrastinating our return trip, and it was hard to think about much besides his skin on mine - there really wasn't that much left of the dress. But my memory of Renesmee, before and after her birth, was becoming more and more dreamlike to me. More unlikely. All my memories of her were human memories; an aura of artificiality clung to them. Nothing seemed real that I hadn't seen with these eyes, touched with these hands.
Every minute, the reality of that little stranger slipped further away.
"Renesmee," I agreed, rueful, and I whipped back up onto my feet, pulling him with me.
22. PROMISED
Thinking of Renesmee brought her to that center-stage place in my strange, new, and roomy but distractible mind. So many questions.
"Tell me about her," i insisted as he took my hand. Being linked barely slowed us.
"She's like nothing else in the world," he told me, and the sound of an almost religious devotion was there again in his voice.
I felt a sharp pang of jealousy over this stranger. He knew her and I did not. It wasn't fair.
"How much is she like you? How much like me? Or like I was, anyway."
"It seems a fairly even divide."
"She was warm-blooded," I remembered.
"Yes. She has a heartbeat, though it runs a little bit faster than a human's. Her temperature is a little bit hotter than usual, too. She sleeps."
"Really?"
"Quite well for a newborn. The only parents in the world who don't need sleep, and our child already sleeps through the night." He chuckled.
I liked the way he said our child. The words made her more real.
"She has exactly your color eyes - so that didn't get lost, after all." He smiled at me. "They're so beautiful."
"And the vampire parts?" I asked.
"Her skin seems about as impenetrable as ours. Not that anyone would dream of testing that."
I blinked at him, a little shocked.
"Of course no one would," he assured me again. "Her diet... well, she prefers to drink blood. Carlisle continues to try to persuade her to drink some baby formula, too, but she doesn't have much patience with it. Can't say that I
blame her - nasty-smelling stuff, even for human food."
I gaped openly at him now. He made it sound like they were having conversations. "Persuade her?"
"She's intelligent, shockingly so, and progressing at an immense pace. Though she doesn't speak - yet - she communicates quite effectively."
"Doesn't. Speak. Yet"
He slowed our pace further, letting me absorb this.
"What do you mean, she communicates effectively?" I demanded.
"I think it will be easier for you to... see for yourself. It's rather difficult to describe."
I considered that. I knew there was a lot that I needed to see for myself before it would be real. I wasn't sure how much more I was ready for, so I changed the subject.
"Why is Jacob still here?" I asked. "How can he stand it? Why should he?" My ringing voice trembled a little. "Why should he have to suffer more?"
"Jacob isn't suffering," he said in a strange new tone. "Though I might be willing to change his condition," Edward added through his teeth.
"Edward!" I hissed, yanking him to a stop (and feeling a little thrill of smugness that I was able to do it). "How can you say that? Jacob has given up everything to protect us! What I've put him through - !" I cringed at the dim memory of shame and guilt. It seemed odd now that I had needed him so much then. That sense of absence without him near had vanished; it must have been a human weakness.
"You'll see exactly how I can say that," Edward muttered. "I promised him that I would let him explain, but I doubt you'll see it much differently than I do. Of course, I'm often wrong about your thoughts, aren't I?" He pursed his lips and eyed me.