Brazen (Brazen #1)(61)

With an odd catch in his chest, he sat down on the edge of the bed and reached out to stroke her cheek. She stirred and opened her eyes to stare at him.

“Do you think you could ever love me?” she asked in an aching voice.

As complicated as it made things, he knew he couldn’t lie to her. It would be easier, easier for all of them, if he just said no, that he didn’t love her.

“I do love you, Jasmine. Maybe I always have.”

“Then why don’t you want me?” she whispered.

“I want you, Jasmine. That’s the problem. I want all of you, and I can never have that. I can’t…I can’t accept having just a part.”

Jasmine felt her heart crack and crumble around her. The quiet resolve in Seth’s voice told her that he’d made up his mind.

“I’m sorry, Seth. I’m sorry to have caused trouble between you and Zane. That was never my intention. I left here a year ago because I couldn’t resolve my feelings for both of you. While I was in Paris, someone opened my eyes to the possibility of a relationship that involved both of you. I took an exception and tried to make it the rule, and for that I’m sorry. I couldn’t see beyond my own needs and desires. I had hoped…I had hoped that maybe you could both love me the same way I love the both of you.”

She pushed herself into a sitting position and then eased off the bed, her heart breaking with every single movement. When she was standing, she turned back around to where Seth still sat on the bed, his eyes haunted.

She leaned down and brushed her lips across his, closing her eyes as she savored this last moment with him. “I love you. I will always love you.”

She straightened back up and took in a steadying breath. “I’ll leave with Cody in the morning. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I don’t belong here anymore. Maybe I never did.”

Turning around was almost the hardest thing she ever did. Walking out of his room, out of his life, nearly killed her.

Chapter Thirty-One

Jasmine didn’t sleep. She stayed up to pack, and the rest of the time she spent worrying over her imminent departure. The idea of leaving Sweetwater scared her. It had been her haven, her sanctuary, for six years. Even when she’d lived in Paris, she’d known that this was home, that she would always be safe here.

Now she was poised to leave. This time for good. She would embrace a new family, strangers to her. The idea nearly sent her into full-fledged panic.

She waited until six-thirty, and then she went down the hall to knock on Cody’s door. When she heard his call to come in, she opened the door and hesitantly eased inside.

He’d obviously just come from the bathroom. His hair was wet from a recent shower, and he was wiping his face as if he’d just shaved.

“Jasmine, hello. You’re up early.”

He looked surprised but happy by her intrusion.

She approached him nervously but still maintained her distance. He sat down on his bed and patted the space beside him. She stared for a moment then sat down.

“If your offer still stands, I’d like to leave with you,” she said.

“Of course it’s still open,” he said gently. “Jasmine, I meant every word. Tara is very anxious to meet you. And I’d love the opportunity to spend time with you. Catch up on the last six years and hopefully make up for the time we lost.”

“I’d want to leave today. This morning,” she blurted out.

He blinked in surprise. “We can leave whenever you like, but are you sure?”

She nodded. “I’m sure.”

“Okay. I only need a few minutes to get my stuff together. We can leave just as soon as you want.”

Her chest squeezed with pain at the idea of leaving, and yet she knew she didn’t have a choice. She couldn’t stay.

“I’ll meet you downstairs then. I need to bring my things down, and I want to say goodbye to Zane and Carmen.”

“And not to Seth?” he asked gently.

She swallowed painfully. “I’ve already said my goodbyes to Seth.”

“Leave your things in your room. I’ll bring them down for you,” he offered. “You go and have your time with Carmen and Zane.”

She leaned forward and hugged him, albeit awkwardly. He seemed surprised but pleased by her overture. She pulled away abruptly and stood, anxious to be away.

“I’ll see you downstairs,” she said as she hurried for the door.

She went in search of Carmen, and when she found her, she couldn’t even get the words out. Carmen held her close, stroking her hair as she shed torrents of tears.

“Mi niña, I will miss you so,” Carmen choked out. “You are truly the daughter of my heart. Swear to me that you will call.”

“I love you, mamacita,” Jasmine said as emotion grew thicker in her throat.

“Te amo, mi niña, te amo.”

“You’re going,” Zane said quietly.

Jasmine wrenched herself from Carmen’s arms and turned to see Zane standing in the doorway to the kitchen. His eyes were hooded and wary, his entire stance tense.

Carmen gave her a little push. “Go on, niña,” she whispered. “He is hurting too.”

Jasmine walked like a jerky puppet across the kitchen floor until she came to a stop in front of Zane. He yanked her to him, hugging her close. His heart beat in a frantic cacophony against her cheek.