Born in Death (In Death #23)(14)

“Oh, my God. I need decorations?”

“I’m going to help you, Dallas. I’m going to run interference with the caterer. I’m going to come over early on the day and help get it set up.”

Eve narrowed her eyes and tried to ignore the joy and relief bubbling in her breast. “And what’s this going to cost me?”

“Nothing. I like baby showers.”

“You’re a sick, sick woman.”

“Look, look! That car’s going to pull out. Get the space! Get the space! It’s first level, almost at the door. It’s a sign from the goddess of fertility or something.”

“Damn Free-Ager,” Eve mumbled, but beat out a Minibug for the parking slot.

She thought she’d hate shopping in a baby boutique. And Eve was a woman who knew herself well.

There were gargantuan stuffed animals and mind-numbing music. There were tiny little chairs, strange mesh cages, other animals, or poofy stars hanging from the walls and ceiling. Racks were full of odd miniature outfits. There were shoes no bigger than her thumb. Thumb-sized shoes, she thought, were unnatural. Nothing that small should be able to walk on two legs, so why did it require shoes?

Things rocked and swayed and played more tinkling music if you looked at them crooked.

And there were a number of gestating women, and others who carried the fruit of their wombs in colorful slings or strange padded seats that hooked over their shoulders. One of those fruits was wailing in a thin, alien cry.

And there were others, bigger ones, who sat in pushcarts or wandered around free to pummel the animals or climb on everything in sight.

“Courage,” Peabody soothed, and clamped a hand on Eve’s arm before Eve tried to bolt.

“Just point at something and I’ll buy it. Whatever it is. Cost is no object.”

“It doesn’t work like that. We go to one of the screens, see? She registered. So we find out what she wants, and what people already bought for her. They have great stuff here.”

“Why does something that can’t walk, talk, or feed itself need so much stuff?”

“For exactly those reasons. And babies need stimulation, and comfort. Here we go.” Peabody engaged a screen. A fresh-faced young woman popped on, smiling cheerfully.

“Welcome to the White Stork! How can we help you?”

“Registration list for Mavis Freestone, please.”

“Right away! Would you like to see the entire list of Ms. Freestone’s choices, or what is left to be fulfilled?”

“What’s left,” Eve said quickly. “Just what’s left.”

“Just one moment!”

“Why does she talk like that?” Eve questioned Peabody. “Like I’m brain dead.”

“She’s not—”

“Dallas?”

Such was the state of Eve’s nerves she nearly jumped at the sound of her name. Turning, she saw Tandy Willowby waddling toward her. “Oh, and it’s Peabody, right? We met at Mavis’s once.”

“Sure, I remember. How you doing?”

“Really good.” Tandy patted her belly. “Nearly coming to countdown. Are you here for Mavis?”

“Just tell me what to buy.” Eve was ready to beg. “I’m on the clock.”

“No problem. Actually, I’ve got just the thing. Cancel registration search,” she ordered. “It may be more than you want to spend—”

“I don’t care about that. Just wrap it up.”

“It’s a little too big. You know, I’ve had to waylay Mavis a dozen times, convince her not to buy the place out, to wait until after the shower. She’s got her heart set on this rocker system.”

Tandy moved through the aisles, leading the way through forests and meadows of baby merchandise with her long tail of sunny hair swinging. “I talked my boss into ordering one in, in Mavis’s colors. I knew if she didn’t get it as a gift, she’d snag it after the shower. I’ll show you our display model, then you can look at the one we ordered on screen. It’s in the warehouse.”

“It’ll be fine. Great. I’ll just pay for it. Hey!” Eve snapped when Peabody elbowed her.

“At least look at it.”

“Oh, you’ve got to see it,” Tandy agreed, her baby blue eyes wide and guileless. “It’s absolutely mag.”

What Eve saw when Tandy gestured was a minty green cushy deal sort of shaped like a long S, that for some reason made Peabody coo.

“It reclines, rocks, sways, vibrates, and plays music. There are twenty tunes in the default, and you can record and playback or download others. Or just the sound of the mother’s voice, the father’s voice, whatever you like.” Tandy ran a gentle hand over the top curve. “The material is stain and water resistant, and so soft. Just feel.”

Because it was obviously a requirement, Eve patted the chair. “Nice. Soft. Cushy. I’ll take it.”

“Youhave to sit in it,” Tandy insisted.

“I don’t—”

“Go on, Dallas.” Peabody gave Eve a nudge. “Try it out. You have to.”

“Jesus, all right, all right.” Feeling idiotic, Eve lowered to the chair, and felt it shift, just a bit, like a live thing. “It moved.”