Blonde & Blue (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #4)(87)

I sprang at the nightstand like a rabid dog, eager to see what my vampire would choose to give me. I almost upset a few candles in my rush to get the drawer open. I had to dig through a pile of blue tissue paper before I found it, an incredibly old book. The leather cover was worn and thin; the pages had yellowed with time, and it had that musty book smell that all old books eventually have.

Lifting it carefully, I set it on my lap and opened it. It was a journal, Arys’ journal. The dates written in faded ink on the pages were shocking. There were journal entries from more than a hundred years ago.

“I know you have all of my memories,” Arys watched me flip through the pages, “but they’re mostly a mess of random images in your head. Yours are for me, too. I thought this might help. I wanted you to have it.”

I gazed at Arys in wonder. I never would have expected something so deeply personal from him. “Arys … thank you. This is so thoughtful. I don’t even know what to say. I really appreciate that you would be willing to give me this.”

I reached out to grasp his hand, hoping he saw the gratitude in my eyes. I gently replaced the journal back into the nightstand drawer. Arys smiled and pulled me back down on the bed beside him. I reached for Shaz who quickly joined us.

As tired as I was, I didn’t sleep. I waited for each of them to fall asleep, and then I carefully disentangled myself from their grasps and left the bed. Wrapping myself in the black robe that always hung on the back of the door, I glanced back at the two of them.

Shaz clutched his pillow, snoring softly. He was facing away from Arys, far enough out of reach to avoid accidentally touching. Arys had an arm up over his head, hiding his face from view. I wondered if he really was asleep at all. He didn’t sleep much, and when he did, it was light, like he was always partially alert.

Though they were only a few feet apart on the bed, it was like they were worlds away from one another. I linked them, and without me, they were nothing. I didn’t particularly want them to be close, but I didn’t want them to always be at odds either. I really didn’t think that would ever change.

I stepped lightly on the stairs as I made my way up to the main floor. Many of the candles had long since burnt out. I blew out the ones that remained lit as I followed them back to the front entry. My purse sat right where I’d left it, with Kale’s gift inside. My curiosity climbed.

I sat in a chair near the front window, my purse in hand. The blinds were drawn, but the brilliant glow of the sun beyond cast shards of light upon me. Taking the carefully wrapped box out, I turned it over a few times. Maybe it was nothing of extreme value. Perhaps I was over thinking this.

With a deep exhalation of breath, I tore off the paper and opened the box. A small note fell out into my lap, but before I could read it, my gaze landed on the silver cross pendant displayed on a bed of cotton. It was breathtaking.

It was old, possibly Elizabethan old. It had a slightly medieval look to it. There was a small black diamond in the center. It was unlike anything I’d ever seen. It had to be the oldest, most valuable item I’d ever held.

I picked up the note, finding it scrawled in Kale’s careful handwriting. It said only: It used to be my mother’s. Now it should be yours. Happy birthday.

Stunned didn’t even begin to cover it. Tears pricked the back of my eyes. A swell of emotion quickly overwhelmed me, and I choked back a sob. Kale had just given me his heart in more ways than one. I hadn’t asked for it, but here it was, lying in a box on my lap.

He had asked nothing in return, knowing that I couldn’t give him what he so freely gave to me. Staring into the box, running my fingers over the sleek silver cross, I knew with my whole being that I couldn’t love him. And yet, I knew that I did. So why did it feel so bad?

Chapter Twenty-Three

I couldn’t lie to myself. I was totally freaked out. As I got out of the car and stared across the street at the old church, an uneasy feeling gripped me. A shiver slithered down my spine. I didn’t like this one bit.

Shya had asked me to come. He was elusive but indicated he had something he wanted me to see. I shielded hard, hoping to avoid any unwanted attention. Some things inside that church had never been human. I could feel them.

I glanced at Kale, seeking some kind of reassurance. His presence was a great relief. I wasn’t sure I’d have had the courage to walk in there alone.

In the car on the way over, I’d tried to thank him for his gift. I wanted to say so much more, but none of it was right for the situation. He’d waved me off, effectively keeping the conversation from taking a personal turn. That was likely for the best.

“Remember, we’re just here to observe.” Kale fell into step beside me as we crossed the street. “No matter what you see here, don’t get involved and don’t draw attention to yourself. Trust me. The less anyone knows about you, the better. Oh, and shield tighter than that. I can feel your apprehension.”

“Why did I agree to this again?” I muttered beneath my breath.

“Because you have power that puts you in a class all your own. It’s a good thing. It gives you leverage. Just use it carefully.”

I fell silent, slipping into stealth mode. The wolf inside was on full alert as I paid keen attention to my finely tuned senses. The scent of car exhaust lingered on the air. I saw no obvious sign that the church was occupied. As we drew closer, the atmosphere grew stifling with a strange energy I couldn’t identify.